Sunday, December 30, 2007

watching a movie shouldn't be this hard.

gaysin and mother [his not mine] arrive sharp at 4. just like they said they would. mother groans as she hears the doorbell. apparently being around her sister this much is getting to her. she has begun noticing all her strange little quirks. quirks she had forgotten about for years, like when aunty sucks on her teeth after a meal, like she's trying to vacuum the various food particles stuck in between her teeth. also the gargling at the table. they've been hanging out way too much these two. getting pedicures, going shopping, cooking, visiting. it's all too much for mother. on rare days like these i'm sure i'm her daughter. i giggle and open the door. gaysin walks in carrying an empty dessert tray. i barely manage a "where's the dessert fool?" before i almost pass out. it's aunty's perfume. it's like this weird mixture of old lady perfume and powder and rat pee. i walk towards the kitchen and take deep breaths. mother orders me to make tea for the guests.

me: ma how ill make? there's no milk

mother: i told you no to bring! useless girl. go make with condensed milk and evaporated milk

me: errr. oh kay.

seconds later gaysin's in the kitchen.

gaysin: what's there to eat? i feel like eating something fried and spicy.

me: aah very good. take chakli.

gaysin: you know how to make any bonda?

me: um no!

gaysin: oh. i should have brought my tempura batter with me. it's very easy with that

aunty yells from the living room: how you can use tempura batter for bonda?

gaysin: you can use it for anything mother. it's just batter.

aunty: no no that is only for shrimp and other japanese food items.

gaysin: hey how much did you pay for your other laptop because i was thinking of........

me: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

gaysin: oh god she doesn't know yet?

me: no!

gaysin: oh! heh.

gaysin: so what plans for new year?

aunty: no midnite mass also they have here. unless we find some catholic church or something.

mother: or we can have off at home only.

me: oh god mother!

mother: oh god only.

gaysin: are there any good movies showing?

mother: yes yes lets go.

everyone looks at me like i'm some sort of movie guide channel. i roll my eyes and immediately start naming all the movies showing this week.

aunty: aah that tom hanks movie sounds good.

me: om puri is in it too.

mother: oh really? hmmm. what about that one i wanted to see ma. with george washington?

i almost burn my mouth with the tea: thu george washington it seems! denzel washington ma!!

mother: aah aah him only. last time we saw that movie no with him. so nice it was. lets see that.

gaysin: atonement is supposed to be brilliant.

me: oh god no!

me: there's the kite runner....

aunty: okay come on lets just go and decide there.

mother and aunty decide they need to go grocery shopping first: okay we'll go and come, you look at the timings.

gaysin suddenly decides he wants to go home. mother and aunty leave and i log on to supposedly check movie listings but end up having a fascinating gossipy conversation about bloggers and blogger fights and my "experience" as a guest contributer on dp with tgfi. she also helped me name my sicrit blog. sort of. it looks kind of blah right now but we'll be decorating it soon. also making it sicrit and exclusive so feel free to email me with your bribes.

when we finally get to the theatre mother is panicking because it's already time for the movie to start. i tell her to go get the tickets and popcorn while i find parking.

mother: so which movie?

me: anything but atonement. and dont forget the popcorn. makkhan maar ke.

i find parking in some remote corner and run across the parking lot like a crazy person because i know mother is probably freaking out since in her head we've probably already missed half the movie. she hands me the tickets and we rush towards screen 19. i walk hurriedly past the long lines at the popcorn stand and make a sad face.

mother: come come no time.

so i end up watching the movie hungry. i can smell the popcorn but i cant taste the popcorn, plus these dumb american movies don't even have intervals. the movie's decent though. mother sleeps through most of it but apparently whatever she saw of it was enough to make her clap loudly when they announce the winner at end. i try to hide my face unsuccessfully.

mother: so nice it was no?

me: um you were sleeping through most of it.

aunty: but where was om puri? i was waiting for him to come. when they started talking about satyagraha and gandhi i thought he'll come off

me: um ya. that was a completely different movie!!

aunty: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! but how om puri has acted? didn't he die last year?

me: oh god that was amrish puri.

aunty: oho!


and then we couldn't find the damn car for fifteen minutes!

Friday, December 28, 2007

jesht i waas ondering

If i started a sicrit blog* with links to the most badly written posts in the blogosphere [we're talking so bad they're good] would you read it? In my quest to find decent posts to link on dp i have come across many many horrendous posts that also happen to be very amusing, if you have the patience to read them. Now i want to share this misery with the world. Who wants in?

*sicrit with like a password and all so as to prevent blogger suicide.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Something about strange old men on discussion panels and marathi slang and entertaining my virtual fish.

Disco be feeling sad. His attempt at friendship was unsuccessful.

Also Disco be confused. I explained to him what a no ball is. He thinks they suck. Especially wicket taking no balls. [Zak honey, we know you know so keep that foot behind the line]

Then i taught him something fun i learned a couple of days ago from this fool with the hairy thighs and he's been giggling since. Apparently the Marathi version of ABCD is "aga bai, chaddi disli" which means "Oops! I just saw your underwear" which is what you're supposed to say everytime you see someone's crack. We think it's quite brilliant.

Also who still says "talking to you" when you ask them what they're doing? That is SO 1992. Also you called me fool so if you have nothing to say and i'm trying to make small talk just answer the damn question until a sufficient amount of time has passed and you can pass the phone onto your sister.

My toes look very pretty today. Just thought you might want to know.

Who's doing what for new year? Go ahead. Make me jealous.

p.s. Is anyone watching the test on sky sports or on some internet site that's broadcasting the sky sports coverage? I ask cause there's this one desi unclejee who's part of the discussion panel. Never heard of the man. He reminds me of a professor. Very serious. He discusses cricket like he's discussing physics. Very propah. Way more English than the other Englishmen on the panel. One of those people you feel like force feeding alcohol to not because you're kind and generous with your alcohol but because they really seem like they could use it. Lighten up fool although it is fascinating to watch him speak. He pauses after every two words. Says "i suppose" and "one would" and "particularly" and "typically" a lot.

Clearly we're bored.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Boxing Day!

Grace Adler once said [and we all know how much i love her]


"The holidays are all about misery and obligation"

I've done the obligation part. I went to church. I hung out with the extended family. I exchanged presents. I made the international phone calls [this is where the misery comes in]. Now it's my time to celebrate. So i'm back home on my couch. It's almost five. I'm in my pyjamas. I have my coffee and im all set to watch the boxing day test.

GO DADA! [it's his 100th test] and GO INDIA!


edited at 12:42 We're suddenly feeling very festive. It might have something to do with Kumble having just taken a five wicket haul. Anyway here's a picture of a fun christmas tree i saw at gap. In case you cant tell those would be balls of yarn and gap's winter scarves.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Dear Amir Khan,

Look. We get it. You wanted to make us weep. And we did. Within the first half hour even. But then you had to go and show us that damn nightmare where the kid gets separated from its mother! And all this right before they send it away to boarding school?!! By the time the parents drive off leaving the poor kid at the side of the road we are choking. Mother can barely breathe, she's sobbing into her saree. Gay cousin who doesn't know he's get yet has run out of tissues. My contact lenses are threatening to slip right out. And then you go and play that damn song. It's fucking heart breaking and you know it but you had to play it anyway. With words like "Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon Maa" and " Bhej Na Itna Door Mujkko Tu, Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa. Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa" And then just when we're beginning to compose ourselves you go and play the tune again. And again. And again.
Damn you!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

How NOT to have a telephone conversation. Mother, are you listening?

Assume all people in India are deaf. YELL into the phone. If your daughter at the other end of the house cannot hear you, how can people so many continents away possibly hear you? Once you see said daughter with her hands over her ears you know you can be heard. Stick to this volume for the next forty five minutes.

Always ask what the local time is. Always inform person of time here. Calculate and discuss time difference in great detail. "Oh it's nine aa? Oh but tomorrow morning? Oho. Here it is still yesterday."

While talking to leetle childrens say "hello babba. how are you? haaa? haaa? hello? can you hear me? hello??? hello? paapa? kutti? baby? aah okay tata. now give phone to your mummmy" even if said child is
3 months old.

While talking to son who is about to leave to the US give unsolicited lengthy advice, about EVERYTHING!

"Go visit so and so person before leaving. Don't forget this aunty's neighbour's chitthi's ajji. Also Mariamma. She looked after you when you were small. Oh and make sure you visit all the doctors before coming. Especially the dentist. Get everything fixed. See, it is very expensive here. People fly back to India for root canal it seems. Yes yes really they do. It's that expensive. Don't laugh! I'm not joking. Best thing is to get all teeth removed and get off one denture. Maybe even two. That's what i did. Now see i have no problem. Who is that laughing in the back? Oh and check your email i have sent list of things to bring for me and list of things not to bring for you. You get everything here. Don't waste space in the suitcase. Your sister aa? She wants kaaju barfi from that what is that aa Tiwari brothers sweets it seems. Where aaa? Who knows? Oh near Commercial street it seems. Wait one minute. What Nonsense! Cricket magazines it seems! What for? Keep quiet. Haa? Nivea deodorant aa? No need. Aah thats all for her. Just bring sweets. Oh and your aunty wants one masala dabba. That round round stainless steel one. No no, its not too heavy. And your cousin has already sent list to you it seems but that one will ask for all unnecessary items, you know no? just bring whatever you want okay? And all my things. "


And the lady hasn't even started on her airport instructions yet. My poor poor brother!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

links, clutches, stuff that will kill you and movie endings. can you tell i make these titles up randomly just before i hit publish?

is there some sort of rule to ordering pizza in texas? like are there certain special places to only order from? is there a secret password i need to tell them when i call? a 'dont kill me' coupon maybe? because dear lord the pizza's here are greasy. like cardiac arrrest greasy. i normally get dominos. and they're usually decent. at least in colorado they were. but today my pizza looked like it had been deep fried in buffalo lard. plus apparently they don't do chicken.
who doesn't do chicken?
so all i got was this mushroom pizza and i couldnt even make it through one slice. i ended up having to eat just the mushrooms. and those are good. but im not paying fifteen dollars to pick mushrooms off of a plate of grease. those things need to come with a warning: side effects included bloating, death etc...
so, does anyone know where i can order a regular pizza? something that wont kill me the same night i eat it. anyone?

also i asked y'all to help me with links for desi pundit. either that or update your damn blogs!
this past week i have had to resort to reading new blogs that are so bad, it's not even funny. cat stories. seriously! and how married people spend their weekends. and some fool reviewing lagaan. didnt that release like in the last century?dude, people are BORING! yeah. also lame and unimaginitive. and dull. i wanted to link to this post and be like um is this dude for real? and this one which is very interesting but i have no idea wtf it's supposed to be, which makes me think it's brilliant but see these wont work. i need desipunditable pieces. so email me. oh and dont send me people who are featured on desi pundit everyday. we're not doing that. also no recipes. we're not forty. something fun and smart. and original.

ooh if you're looking for a fun clutch/longish wallet type thing go to aldo. they have this adorable yellow wallet. also a super fun red one. see. i bought this one in bronze. isnt it pwetty? oh but their shoes are ugly. so skip those.

also to the people who emailed me to ask if i was suicidal or something after reading my last post the answer is NO! fool. its christmas! which fool would kill themself right before a festival with lots of presents? also it was a flash back post. for those of you who didnt get it, i was having a bad day. dropping lotsa stuff. then i was sleepwalking and staring into space. then this one smell reminded me of my last trip to bangalore and everything after that was a flashback. so calm down. jeez.

ooh also i just saw the new madhavan movie 'evano oruvan'. very nice. makes you kinda sad though. i cant believe he dies at the end. oops.
alright i have to go. boston legal is about to start. thank god there's like one new show atleast this week. i am sick of repeats!


p.s. lookey! fashion contest here.


p.p.s. so i finally found something funny that i was going to desipundit when i realised wait a minute this person isnt even desi. damn it!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

of flat round plasticy things






you know those days?


when you bring packed lunch to work like a good girl but then drop it all on the kitchen floor. when you pull up to the chinese restaurant and your cell phone goes flying out of your lap landing god knows where in the car. when you can't find it even though you've looked for like five minutes. when you eventually find it but you've scraped your fingers getting to it. when you should be getting out of the car but your arm isn't reaching for the door because the song that's playing perfectly encapsulates your mood. and now you're staring. at nothing in particular. like a crazy person. the weather's all gloomy. it should really be pouring right now but it isn't for some reason. the perfect ambiance for your mood. more staring. you just can't look away. you reach in your bag for some water. you can feel the flat round plasticy thing you bought yourself while you were out 'secret santa' shopping last night. you peel off the plastic and one deep whiff later you're back to day dreaming. it's amazing where different smells can take you. one whiff of this passion fruit body butter and it's flashback time. to your last trip home. it feels wrong to call it a trip. but that's what it was. it was your birthday. ha! the disaster that was your birthday. dad yelling. he had every right to. you had just crashed the new car into the wall. the rain. cause it always rains on your birthday. always. the women at the beauty parlour. the terrible birthday lunch. feeling scared because you were starting to feel like a stranger in your own home. and yet the dread of leaving. the crying in the bathroom. the relatives. oh god the relatives. the questions. YOU.
you never calling to say goodbye. damn it! you never said goodbye.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Thursday, December 13, 2007

meet the new crazies

apparently i'm now approachable. and seem the listening kind.

when the fuck did that happen?

i have had to listen to the boring details of so many people's lives today it's not even funny. also i've noticed old women really seem to like me. this ninety year old woman today liked my blouse so much she insisted i give her directions to the store i bought it at. ninety! or something very close to Dada's second innings score.

***

we're doing secret santa at the office and i need to find something fun to get for this incredibly boring girl with a disturbingly deep voice, that's under twenty bucks. you know i think it's high time i introduced y'all to the office. the new office. i hated it at first. but it's gotten better. a lot better. especially since the old manager was transferred and this other bitch i couldn't stand left. the new manager is cool. very approachable. very smart. terrible dresser. i mean suits don't have to look like that! especially skirt suits.

then there's R who everyone thinks is incredibly hot. i am still undecided on this matter. mostly because i recently found out R has a child. and that makes him old, thereby eliminating his hotness.

then there's A who could also learn a thing or two about fashion. she loves her taper fit gray pants this one. also vpl's galore. but she's one of those people you can't not like. very helpful. apparently also one of those people who can't say no. like today for example she spent her entire lunch hour doing her daughter's homework assignment. the assignment was to come up with one animal for every letter in the english alphabet and then write ten things about it.

can you believe the things they make little children do?

i couldn't tell you ten things about disco if i tried. and he's my pet. in fact he's been my pet for the past seven lives. his. not mine.

then there's D who can be lots of fun but who says the most inappropriate things. all the time. and i normally enjoy inappropriate banter. just not when it involves such intimate details about someone's sex life. or bowel movements.

then there's K whose son i mistook for her daughter. this was back when i was new. i thought she would hate me forever. then i realised that wasn't possible. not with me anyway. K is pregnant. enough said.
no no i kid. she's actually quite hysterical. likes to tell everyone exactly what she's thinking. at the moment she's thinking it, making it very entertaining for me. is also very aware of my caffeine levels during the day. which is a good thing.

then there's M. clearly insane. obsessed for some reason with baby goats. and by obsessed i mean the boy will sing baby goat songs all day. baby goat songs that go like this "and a baby goat...and a baby goat.............and a baby goat...and a baby goat", will send email mentioning baby goats, even wrote down 'baby goat' on his secret santa wish list! allegedly engaged. to a girl. we think he might be bi curious. says fabulous a lot. always notices what shoes who's wearing. will complement said person on their shoes. will sing and dance on key. does his eyebrows. i told him i'd introduce him to gay cousin who doesn't know he's gay yet. but he just shook his head and said something about a baby goat.

then there's R who recently had a baby. you wouldn't believe it if you saw her. super skinny this one. what would make you believe it though are her boobs. ridiculously huge. apparently she's still breast feeding. she's told us. repeatedly. this is the same one with the scary voice. the tone of her voice never changes. ever. even when she laughs. its fascinating. also very creepy.

So there. the new office.

oh and by the way everyone thinks i'm very proper. whatever that means!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Apparently it's everyone's huttida habba today.

SO,


Happy Birthday in no particular order TO:

Rajinikanth
Yuvraj Singh
My ex friend's [wahat the bitch wont talk to me] ex boyfriend R
My ex friend's ex boyfriend R's dad
My baby cousin [she's probably a teen now] who dresses like a hooker thanks to mommy dearest with no taste.
The future Yuvraj Singh jr aka Yamraj Singh [it's all about the timing Soupie. Plus if R's dad can do it so can you]
flaffy's blog

p.s I asked for links bitches! Email me.

Also raise your hand if you're over disco.

Monday, December 10, 2007

You know how on orkut they have this annoying feature that tells you who updated what on their profile. Anyway this weekend two people i know updated the languages they speak. I was very impressed. Clearly they had taken the time to learn a new language and that's impressive which is why i was sort of disappointed and a little puzzled to find out that this new language was in fact English! I find it hard to believe these two didn't already know English. I mean we went to the same school.

One girl i even scrapped saying "Congratulations i see you have learned a new language" but sadly I didn't get a reply. Maybe she's still working on the reading part eh?

Also if y'all come across any deep tragic clich├ęd posts in propah English about Indians or India in general please email me the links. Thanks muchly. Happy Monday y'all.


Oh and we're doing moo meetha in celebration of Dada's double hundred.

Sunday, December 09, 2007


So my Dada scores his first double hundred at my Chinnaswamy stadium and i'm not there with the 'Bangalore loves you Dada' posters to cheer him on.

There's days you miss home and there's days you miss home.

Friday, December 07, 2007

clearly we're in the mood to talk. clearly we're in the mood to use 'clearly' a lot.

in an attempt to ruin your appetite, i just saw my mother eat her dosa with maple syrup. she has also been known to eat poori with kesaribath instead of pallya. why tell?

in family news, my brother may be here in as little as two weeks. we will have to move. again. and to be very honest i'm not as delighted about this news as i should be. it's one more person to live with. i can barely handle my mother. to co exist peacefully with two whole members of the same crazy family. eesh. i SO need to move out. who wants me? i'd be a great roommate. i wont talk unless i have to. i will order pizza a lot. and i'll share. i wont share a toilet. i make great coffee. i wont share the tv or the laptop. i need the a/c when it's hot and the heat when its cold. i wont compromise on either just because the electricity bill is high. so. who wants me?

and omg mother will not stop discussing the various stages of the interview process and the flight details with whoever is willing to listen. or is too frightened to not listen. and when she's talking to my brother in india she yells like its fucking uranus or something. she is drowning out the tv. help! i am missing key dialogues from tonight's 30 rock episode. by the by what an incredibly hysterical episode. watch it legally on nbc.com if you're in the us and have an internet connection that's not dial up. or if you're in india you may contact rbr - illegal video downloading genius or this dude. i dont know where he watches it or how but he watches it. but i digress. there will be some positives too. like mother might possibly divide up her talking time between the two of us. that would be totally okay with me. also this time when we move i can make sure we get an apartment that's facing the right way. so i can get directv again. and life will be complete.

***

stat counter tells me someone just googled 'when old tulsi will come back'.
can you believe such people exist? i mean clearly this person has access to the internet. the wonderful genius internet. but instead of using it to shop or view porn like normal people this fool wants to know when the old tulsi will be back. what is wrong with you?

***

did y'all read your urban dictionary word of the day today? no? here i did it for you.

Like a non-sequitur, a pre-sequitur doesn't follow what immediately preceded it, but instead relates to something that came much earlier. It is a sudden or jarring break in the chronology, but it does follow... when you remember what it refers to.
Jen: Why did you leave Los Angeles?
Keith: Well... have you ever lived there?
Jen: I visited once, for a week. I liked the street performers on the boardwalk...
Keith: Oh, the boardwalk is where I got this red scarf!
Jen: I was trying to knit a scarf just like that last year but I never finished.
Keith: Where do you get yarn around here?
Jen: There's a good store just a few blocks from here, wanna come see?

... ten minutes later ...

Jen: Huh, do you smell Indian food?
Keith: Hmm, not really... but now I'm in the mood to get some Indian Food.
Jen: Sure, let's!
Keith: It was the pollution, that's why.
Jen: pollution?
Keith: Yeah, I wanted somewhere with real air, and LA wasn't it!
Jen: Oh, why you left Los Angeles

i love conversations like these by the way. i have them in my head all the time. sometimes i want to write them down so i can read and you can read but they go away too fast.

***

today i was having lunch at this chinese restaurant and this annoying man would not shut the eff up. first he was on his cell phone. talking gibberish. really loud. then he pretends not to hear the waitress. then he pretends he doesn't understand her accent. tell me how many different things can this possibly mean? "i bling your shup foh yoo now" the asshole made her repeat herself like five times. and it wasn't that he couldn't understand. he was just being an ass. one of those 'how dare you live in the united states when you cant speak the type of english i call enlish' types. fool! also later when i got my soup it kinda smelled like the toilet. yeah. it came free with the kung pao chicken so i didnt care. i put my spoon in it so the kitchen staff wouldn't be offended. dude you never know. people do crazy things. and especially at chinese restaurants. it is so hard to find a cheery waitress. they're alway very matter of fact and busy. even if there are like three people in the entire restaurant. and today this lady was actually being friendly. until the fool pissed her off. what she should have said was 'no shup foh you. bitch.' to him. not me. i'm lovely. unless they put ice in my water. or the peanuts are stale. then i wont like it. of course they will never know this because i will never tell them. i hate to return stuff. also i'm kinda scared they may throw my starving self out.

***

is it possible to be IN LOVE with a shirt? to be devastated to find out it only comes in 3 colours. i recently ordered the pink and the green and now i want the orangish brown one too. the thing with ordering clothes online is you never know how they will fit but this one seemed fairly fittable on anyone so i took the chance and i am in love. they're perfect.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

you me and ice box

there are random days you remember suddenly, for absolutely no reason. this was one such day.

lets see. there was you and me and my new car 'ice box' - my birthday present from daddy. 'ice box' because mani the drunk watchman would wash the car without fail every morning but never feel the need to wipe it. so it just sat there. all cold and drippy. it always felt like an ice box when i got in it, on my way to 7 am law class, where i'd sit as far back as possible and fall asleep until attendance time or break time, whichever came first.

that day there was no class. that day it was just you and me and ice box. the plan was to drive to the ends of the earth bangalore to eat at this one restaurant. but here's the weird thing. i cant remember us eating that day. do you? i mean we had to have eaten. you and me don't ever not eat. but all i remember is us driving. i yelled when you pretended to drive off the road. i yelled when you did things you're not supposed to do to the driver when they're driving. we stopped for elneeru. i don't even like elneeru. then you insisted on going to see these airplanes. i didn't want to see no airplanes. but you really really wanted to go and since we had nothing else to do we went. inside we watched this movie. about airplanes and you explained stuff to me. i thought it was really cute that you were so into these planes. you got really excited everytime i showed a little bit of enthusiasm. i'm sure for the most part i rolled my eyes and grumbled. especially if we hadn't eaten. why cant i remember? i don't know why this is so important. but it is. i mean wasn't that the whole idea? anyway after airplanes we drove some more. to this lame outlet store type place where we found absolutely nothing interesting. i think we went there just cause it involved driving. then we drove back. what an absolutely boring day!

i wish we could do it again. i miss you so much fool.

i promise if we ever do it again ill make sure we stop for food. but we're gonna have to get another car. ice box is no more.

Sunday, December 02, 2007

why i'll never win best neice. and stuff you need to be watching.

so im watching the kathy griffin show on bravo and right then my aunties decide they want to come sit down on the couch with me. now i happen to love kathy but oh my god does she loves to curse! so im sitting there trying to decide if i should attempt to change the channel but i realise that would look totally suspicious so i keep watching. then she repeats her entire emmy speech. with all the jesus jokes. and you cant not laugh at jesus jokes. now all my aunties hate me. that and earlier today i set the smoke alarms off by burning the chapathi pan which turned out to be an aapam pan. i didn't even know we had one of those. and apparently the chapathis weren't supposed to have been defrosted so they stuck to the pan forming this black part goeey - part crunchy mess. i'm such a disappointing niece. and who can compete with gaysin? the fool cooks and cleans and decorates. all the aunties love him. all i'm good at is picking restaurants and "helping" people shop.

oh by the way remember srilankan dude from thanksgiving dinner? yes the same one mother introduced me to four times that same night? well she finally confessed to having an ulterior motive. i told her i knew all along. that subtlety has never been one of her strengths. she seemed so shocked that i wasn't shocked by this big revelation. mothers!!!

i just realised you cant see disco's entire home on internet explorer. there's nothing i can do about it. you shouldn't still be using internet explorer anyway.

i liked aaja nachle. i recommend watching it. maybe i'm just too easy to please.

don't forget to watch comedy central's last laugh '07 tonight at 9 central. lewis black's performing. that's reason enough to watch.
also notes from the underbelly is back. mondays at 8:30 or 9. i'm not sure.

also do check out this fun fashion blog. sort of like fashion police for bollywood.

p.s now taking suggestions for future disco nomenclature.