Friday, June 08, 2007

Tulsi ki maut. KYA????????????

I had heard from here that Tulsi Virani was going to be killed off Saah Bahu today. So very excitedly i watched and by god it was worth it. I don't know what show/channel they were trying to compete with tonight but it must have been huge. I was spell bound with how much crap they managed to pack into a 20 something minute show.

They started off with a super quick recap explaining how Tulsi was travelling with her mental institute friends in this truck which rolled off the road and then very tragically she died. They confirm this maut by showing us some bracelet type thing that belonged to her. Yeah right! Then the three scheming bahus cremate her and bring her ashes home. Their entrance was brilliant. See just before they walk in this huge gust of wind blows out all the diyas in the house. The rangoli starts flying off the floors but 400 year old Ba has seen this all before. She knows 'yeh bahut abshagun hota hain'. The three women walk in wearing white saris, their hair flying in the wind. It was like a special tribute to Zee horror show. Remember that crap? Once the Virani parivar finds out that the contents of the bright red pot one of them is carrying includes their favourite bahu [araraaaaaa] the face flashing and plate dropping begins and how!

Now Ekta Kapoor is the queen of dramatic face flashing. Let me explain exactly what i mean by face flashing. First we start with a close up of each member of the family. Then the close up gets bigger and bigger and bigger but all of this has to be from different angles with thunder and lightening in the background. I almost had a seizure at this point but I'm glad i survived to watch the rest.

Tulsi's photo with mala is then put up in no time and everyone has said their alvidas but just as they are about to let her aathma rest in peace Mihir makes his announcement. He wants to keep the ashes with him. Again everyone talks about how 'yeh bahut abshagun hota hain' but he has made up his mind. Flashback to when they first met, when Mihir died, when he rose from the dead much like JC [not Jackie Chan] then when he lost his memory, then when he regained his memory, then when Tulsi lost her memory, then when Tulsi regained her memory, then when he kicked her out of the house [for shooting her son who had izzat looted her bahu], when she went to jail, then when he begged her to come back, then when he sent her to the mental institution and many more of such wonderful scenes.

Break [Oooh the Iifa awards are on soon]

We're back. Ba is watering a plant in a way that only Ba can. Oh but its not just any plant - its the Tulsi plant which now looks like my mother's karipatta plant that i was supposed to water when she went out of town which i forgot to water except for that last day when i went to pick her up at the airport. Six months have passed supposedly and everyone in the house has forgotten that this is Tulsi's half year anniversary. Everyone except Ba. Ba can never forget. This is one of her two super powers. The other of course is immortality. [Think Bee gees] She looks around at the many feuds going on around the house and her heart is saddened.

Break [Ooh Shilpa Shetty is going to be honoured at the Iifa awards. Wtf for?]

And we're back. Mihir is also saddened by the things happening in Shanti Niketan and he cries out to Tulsi. Just then Tulsi's photo responds much like that talking mother in Hum Paanch [remember that crap?] and as a sign to Mihir [who is now so old he cant hear talking pictures] she drops her mala. Just then a woman lying in a hospital bed wakes up with 'Koi mujhe pukaara'. Now this person is either a mummy or its Tulsi bandaged up from head to toe [obviously after having had plastic surgery done by the kind doctor who did Parvati's [of Kahaani ghar ghar ki fame] plastic surgery. She demands that her bandages be removed right away and the nurses do not want to disappoint the viewers who are waiting with baited breath because its almost time for the end of the show and voila we get a sneak peak at her eyes. The new and improved Tulsi looks 20 years old. Quite apt me thinks for someone who's going to make a comeback into Shanti Niketan as a 200 year old Virani parivar bahu/rapist-son slayer.
The end.

27 comments:

Irbaz said...

i dont believe u wrote the synopsis of the enitre episode, and am even more shocked to see that u actually followed it. i remember when i was in my 11th, a friend of mine told me that MIHIR died. i was stunned, coz mihir was a guy i knew, and was not aware of the dumbfuk actor mihir. but soon i was told the difference.

now as for tulsi, i read an article today in which ekta kapoor states that smriti irani is on a 3 month break and once she decides to return, they will replace the current tulsi back with her. i think baa will turn 500 by then!

Neha said...

aah, i hv been prowling around for the gory details, so so beautiful!! and btw, ba is 763.

K said...

This is crazy. I was so bored I couldn't even finish reading the article.

I feel sad for you - First watch the damn show and then write about it.

Indianoguy said...

Vat! u watch Kyunki Saas.. I salute your courage and indefatigability..

I remember watching an episode like million years ago and am glad that I never watched it again

Pri said...

Okay you guys dont know what you're missing. It is absolutely hysterical. Its like watching an episode of Fully Faltoo except everyone is wearing lots of foundation and ginormous bindis.

And for the record i dont watch the show but when i found out that she was going to die i just had to.

Me said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ashwin said...

I cannot believe you actually watched this... even if it was just to see her die (wait... that actually sounds tempting)... i'm even more surprised these things are aired there!

prerna bajaj/basu said...

ooooooooo .. kasauti zindagi kay is better.....

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Bride said...

I don't watch it but after reading this actually feel tempted to. Or maybe, you can keep posting hilarious reruns...

on behalf of the person who's commented got deleted said...

you can't take criticism at all.

Pri said...

bwahahahahahaha karen/rbr wtf? stop with the spamming and i delete comments that have no relevance to this blog and that advertise random websites.

Pri said...

@the bride: im glad at least someone gets the point of all of this.

@ashwin: why r u surprised? it is our right as fellow desis to get to watch all the crap u get to watch....and then make fun of it.

@ my favourite spammers: prerna bajaj basu anthe!!!!

Shreya MammuKandy said...

not fair. undelete the comment

Anonymous said...

abcdefghijklmnop
p
P
P-P-P-P-PRIYA
G-G-G-G-JIYA
PRIYA TUNEY MERA
GIYA LE LIYA

[pri in squeaky voice]:
Maine jo kiya woh tooney bhi kiya (2)
priya jiya liya pyar dono ne kiya

Chander said...

@ Pri:

What is the meaning of this?

YOu're singing our song with someone else???

Nahin!!!!

Lankesh said...

@ Chander

dont take undue advantage of my anonymousicity.

Pri is mine. All mine.

TS said...

The QnA post about India had me rolling on the floor.

Good start to a Monday. Thanks.

Bikerdude said...

Glargh. And then there are the endless Tamil Soaps where the theme song runs for 15 minutes, ads for 7 and the story for 3. Needless to say I'd rather wash my hair.

Chander said...

@ Lankesh:

No she is mince. We sang that song before you in Lalbagh. We also went to Cubbon Park train ride together. Our names are even written in a big hart on the seats.

I fought with Vireesha for her and I'll fight with you also.

lankesh said...

@ chander

u may hav ur name on the toilet seat but does u have the names on the walls of ur hort? i does. i also calls her basanti with anisuthide and loue, and if she troubles me i softy mumble "Priya basanti re, kahe sataye aaja". after a graceful smile she loffs.

prerna boshu/bajaj said...

i am loughing .. loudly

Pri said...

@ my singing dowwers: im sorry i didn't realise we had a song. i will henceforth pick new dowwing songs when i cheat on u oh not so anonymous person. swokay na?

@ ts: bas aapki ashirvaad chaahiye jee.

@bd: oho! u watch tamil saops bere! chithi? kaveri? what was that other one with that same lady who acts in every serial with that dancing man in a dhoti? that song went of forever!

Coco Captive said...

Oh gaaawd!!! What a howlarious serial and a super-howlarious post!!!

Krish Ashok said...

Pri,
You know what's even better than watching Kyun Ki? Reading shady newspaper articles about it.
Special Report

Enchanting poetess said...

LOL I couldn't have read this at a better time...I stopped following Kyunki a zillion years ago, too much crap! I understand why you watched this episode...man Tulsi dying..gosh that's way too tempting! Thanks for the lovely recap, and no...I'm not going back to watch this episode.

Swaps said...

Man you are FUNNY!!...I couldn't stop 'loffing' the entire post!!

Having watched the episode (mom used to watch while I wished I had'nt been born), I must say you've managed to make it even more howlarious than it already was.

I just happened to stumble across you blog today and have already read thru like a 100 posts dated as far back as June last year.You've given me quite a bad back already cause i keep falling off the damn chair reading your movie reviews and the adventures of gaysin...

you've got some style I gotta say...Okay now I'm starting to sound like a crazed fan..well WTF..you deserve it...Keep goin..cheers!!