Tulsi ki maut. KYA????????????

I had heard from here that Tulsi Virani was going to be killed off Saah Bahu today. So very excitedly i watched and by god it was worth it. I don't know what show/channel they were trying to compete with tonight but it must have been huge. I was spell bound with how much crap they managed to pack into a 20 something minute show.

They started off with a super quick recap explaining how Tulsi was travelling with her mental institute friends in this truck which rolled off the road and then very tragically she died. They confirm this maut by showing us some bracelet type thing that belonged to her. Yeah right! Then the three scheming bahus cremate her and bring her ashes home. Their entrance was brilliant. See just before they walk in this huge gust of wind blows out all the diyas in the house. The rangoli starts flying off the floors but 400 year old Ba has seen this all before. She knows 'yeh bahut abshagun hota hain'. The three women walk in wearing white saris, their hair flying in the wind. It was like a special tribute to Zee horror show. Remember that crap? Once the Virani parivar finds out that the contents of the bright red pot one of them is carrying includes their favourite bahu [araraaaaaa] the face flashing and plate dropping begins and how!

Now Ekta Kapoor is the queen of dramatic face flashing. Let me explain exactly what i mean by face flashing. First we start with a close up of each member of the family. Then the close up gets bigger and bigger and bigger but all of this has to be from different angles with thunder and lightening in the background. I almost had a seizure at this point but I'm glad i survived to watch the rest.

Tulsi's photo with mala is then put up in no time and everyone has said their alvidas but just as they are about to let her aathma rest in peace Mihir makes his announcement. He wants to keep the ashes with him. Again everyone talks about how 'yeh bahut abshagun hota hain' but he has made up his mind. Flashback to when they first met, when Mihir died, when he rose from the dead much like JC [not Jackie Chan] then when he lost his memory, then when he regained his memory, then when Tulsi lost her memory, then when Tulsi regained her memory, then when he kicked her out of the house [for shooting her son who had izzat looted her bahu], when she went to jail, then when he begged her to come back, then when he sent her to the mental institution and many more of such wonderful scenes.

Break [Oooh the Iifa awards are on soon]

We're back. Ba is watering a plant in a way that only Ba can. Oh but its not just any plant - its the Tulsi plant which now looks like my mother's karipatta plant that i was supposed to water when she went out of town which i forgot to water except for that last day when i went to pick her up at the airport. Six months have passed supposedly and everyone in the house has forgotten that this is Tulsi's half year anniversary. Everyone except Ba. Ba can never forget. This is one of her two super powers. The other of course is immortality. [Think Bee gees] She looks around at the many feuds going on around the house and her heart is saddened.

Break [Ooh Shilpa Shetty is going to be honoured at the Iifa awards. Wtf for?]

And we're back. Mihir is also saddened by the things happening in Shanti Niketan and he cries out to Tulsi. Just then Tulsi's photo responds much like that talking mother in Hum Paanch [remember that crap?] and as a sign to Mihir [who is now so old he cant hear talking pictures] she drops her mala. Just then a woman lying in a hospital bed wakes up with 'Koi mujhe pukaara'. Now this person is either a mummy or its Tulsi bandaged up from head to toe [obviously after having had plastic surgery done by the kind doctor who did Parvati's [of Kahaani ghar ghar ki fame] plastic surgery. She demands that her bandages be removed right away and the nurses do not want to disappoint the viewers who are waiting with baited breath because its almost time for the end of the show and voila we get a sneak peak at her eyes. The new and improved Tulsi looks 20 years old. Quite apt me thinks for someone who's going to make a comeback into Shanti Niketan as a 200 year old Virani parivar bahu/rapist-son slayer.

The end.