To C

Someone asked me the other day about you and i said very nonchalantly "Oh we don't talk anymore". That was the first time i said it out loud. Its hard to believe how everything has changed. How did you go from a smart confident sweet young girl to someone with no mind of her own? Why do you let one relationship ruin every other? Why are you so terrified of being single? You don't always have to be 'so and so's girlfriend', you know? You can just be you. You were you in college and you were just fine. Remember? We used to talk about boys and our future and how we weren't going to be one of those girls who got married and then attended kitty parties and made tanjore paintings all day. You're one of them now, well you will be pretty soon.
We had our fights but we'd always make up. We had to no? The other girls in class were so lame. We always thought we were superior to everyone else. I told you everything, well almost everything. We'd bunk class together and sit under that porch thingy and make fun of people passing by. You'd bunk Hindi class for me when i didn't have class. You'd come to KFC with me when i wanted to eat a Zinger burger just so you could eat their ketchup. You'd agree to watch any movie, even ones in languages you didn't understand. You'd share your koki everyday. I had my only sorta scary accident with you. We both thought we were going to die. We both limped for the next whole week and decided to take the week off from college. We'd always get caught laughing in class, even when we were being 'punished'. Our teachers hated us. But they hated us together. We did terribly on our final projects together. We even had the same exact topic but we twisted the title enough to fool the judges. We hated the Rajasthan trip together. We almost got kidnapped by that weirdo in Jaipur remember? We almost got suspended during the Bombay trip. We both loved silly stickers and cute stationary. You'd tell me who died on 'Saas Bahu' if i missed an episode. You'd come downstairs with me to the canteen so i could have my coffee. You'd let me copy your homework and i'd let you copy mine. But mostly we'd copy from someone who'd actually done it. We liked to wear each other's watches and backpacks and rings (this one is sorta lesbo i must admit). But we thought each other's rings were prettier. And then you lost my ring and were too scared to tell me. I still have yours. We'd play silly games in class. We'd invent new games to play in class. I'd make Sindhi jokes and you'd make Tamilian jokes. We loved to embarrass each other. We'd eat cup o noodles and microwave popcorn together. You'd even eat stuff off the ground. You were really gross sometimes. And greedy. You'd do anything for cake. I always talked like you when i talked to you. I dunno why. I couldn't help it. You loved to listen to all the 'talks' my dad had given me the previous day. You were silly and fun and self obsessed, just like me. I can't relate to you anymore. Someone else controls your mind now. Its scary. I hope you'll be happy. I hope that I'm wrong, that we're all wrong. I tried. We all tried. But it looks like you've made your decision.
I miss the old you.