Sunday, March 18, 2007

We just lost to a B grade team filled with a bunch of teenagers with really really bad teeth.

We just lost to a B grade team filled with a bunch of teenagers with really really bad teeth. As T very politically correctly put it earlier today "Abe yaar Bangladesh hi to hain. They have floods throughout the year. No food nothing. The whole country is starving. Don't worry yaar they can never beat us". If you're trying to find the logic in this statement don't bother because there is none much like Dravid's strategy today. Let's see what he did right. Well there was the winning of the toss. I'll give him that. He did that very well. Now for the things he did wrong - Karthik has been in amazing form so he drops him and picks Veeru our IN FORM batsman! Uthappa and Dada have been a good opening pair in the recent past but of course Veeru was made to open. And what a splendid job he did! Kumble watched the game from the dressing room while Bhajji [who hasn't taken a wicket since the last century no seriously since the last century, think about it] was on the field doing what he does best...Nothing! Oh and everybody's favourite ALL ROUNDER Ajit Agarkar was picked ahead of Sreesanth and Pathan. Patel [our best bowler in the warm up matches] was made to bowl first change while Agarkar got to open the bowling with Zak. Now Agarkar as we all know is an ALL ROUNDER. Ahem so he got to bat ahead of Zak. And you know who got to bat ahead of them both? Why of course out favourite Bhajji bhaiyya. Oh and Munaf Patel hit a four today. Yeah he managed to connect the bat to the ball and then actually hit it and it reached the ropes. I don't know how it all came together but he did it. I felt like a proud mother. Actually never mind. My kid could never be that ugly. Although Patel does look less ugly since he cut off his goldie locks. Oh and while i was watching the splendid game i had to also listen to my annoying friend ask me lame questions like "Do you think the match has been fixed?" and "Who is winning now?" and "What will you guys do if India loses today?" followed by high pitched giggling. I had very very violent thoughts of what i wanted do to her but i sat quiet and ate my butta which was delicious by the way with lots of salt and chilli powder and lime. Anyway i know this match sucked big time [but hey at least we didn't lose to Ireland. I still cant believe Pakistan is out of the WC] but let's look at the positives. It's a loud wake up call for India nice and early. We always do this [remember the '99 WC and the '03 WC?] but we always scrape through to the next round. Hopefully this will teach Dravid and Chappal who not to pick and who not to send where. By the by Where's Vengsarkar? I'm still hoping he gets really mad after today and decides to fire Chappal on the spot and reinstate Dada as captain. They can even hire John Wright back as temporary coach since he's right there trying his level best to do decent commentary. He's not very good at it. His book on the other hand is lovely. If we want to win this world cup we need to pick our strongest team which would be: Dada, Uthappa, Dravid, Sachin, Yuvi, Karthik, Dhoni, Zaheer, Pathan or Sreesanth, Kumble, Munaf Patel and in that order. Look our tail now looks way more decent. If you're not into cricket [i don't know why you'd still be reading this] but the whole tail thing is cricket related so don't raise your eyebrows at me. Oh and don't forget to pray especially on the 19th and the 23rd. It could determine the fate of 15 people. They might never be allowed into India again. .
Also whats with the energy level on the ground? Someone please hand our useless captain and his favourite fast bowler Agarkar some high energy drink and Yuvraj some coffee. Did anyone else catch him yawning on the ground today?
By the by who's adopting the Pakistan team? They have no home the poor souls.


Amit Bajaj said...

Pri pri pri...that's too good.

i don't think even the guys at Cricinfo or anywhere else for that matter could have done such a wonderful assessment of the match..partly, my liking has also got to do with the fact that i agree with you almost on everything (except the Agarkar bit)..and more importantly, your piece left me smiling. that's quite a difficult end to achieve for anyone writing a report of yesterday's match

btw, the most important match might actually be on the 25th, at least i am hoping it to be.


Pri said...

Yeah the match between Bangladesh and Bermuda will be very important. They have the advantage of knowing at that point exactly how many overs they'd need to win in to go to the super 8's. If Bangladesh beat SL we'd go to the next stage [assuming we beat SL] but then i guess they would get to carry forward the points from beating us and we will carry forward 0. So the ideal situation for India is winning by a huge margin against Bermuda and beating SL and then we'll all just need to pray really head that Bangla doesnt beat Berm by a bigger margin.
Ugh why do our boys always make things so complicated? Oh well all will be forgiven if they do it. I still love them though :)

Neha said...

read chappelle's post game thoughts? Sachin back to the top (??) shewag in the middle (??) dravid still alive (??) but kumble in for agarkar (thank god!)in the next game. sigh. when will anyone learn. and just in case we don't make it, here's my take - whts the point if we cnt beat pakistan in the semis :D

and poor poor woolmer, sigh, sigh.

Anonymous said...


Pri said...

@neha: Kumble back is great and since its Ugadi - auspicious day and all. Lets hope for the best.

@anon: Schumi retired and has left a permanent hole?/void in your life. We know. Now get over it and stop being an ass.

Indianoguy said...

Wonderful post..

Bestest post I've read on that famous/infamous match. Waitng for your post on Bermuda match.

If India doesnt make it to super 8, then our players can always claim asylum in Pakistan. Pakistan would be the safest place on earth for them.

Anonymous said...

I think some hyper indian fans also need to drink coffee consideing what they did to Dhoni's house. It is just a game after all.

Anonymous said...

arrrgghh indians! amazing how well u analyze only after the games. haha. loosers.
loved ur comment on bangladesh having flood and nothing to eat all the time.. atleast they dont stink their houses with cow shit and pray some random rocks where kids pee off the darlo they stole from their moms.

smalltown_girl said...

first @ rob and anon, why you care to read a random blog and then type all the dung in your head as a comment? you get your own life..

and pri, amazing post. am a new reader. so happy that you lyk dada. [you like him na?] and i agree to everything except ajith. and wer is your takes on ipl? any fav team?