Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I received the following evite today.

The countdown has begun for the parents to be as they anxiously await the arrival of a precious miracle, with rhapsodically infallible eyes and tiny little feet, emanating stupendously charismatic freshness, and bringing unparalleled festoons of happiness.

C, we are very happy for you as you give birth to this Omni-potently pristine soul, metamorphosing even the most capricious iota of evil into a sky of unshakably peerless truth; with the divine righteousness in his tiny soul!

A, rest assured, your quest for that one mysterious question "Why do people have babies?" will be over, once you see the profoundly unstoppable glory of panoramic creation of life! Don't forget to take a "snap" while you witness this creation, as you bring him in your arms after cord attached to his mother’s comfortable womb.

So we hope you all can join us in blessing the parent's to be.

Holy fuck!

Now here’s my question. What makes the party planners so supremely confident that this baby will have tiny feet? What if it has clown feet?
And of all the annoying words in this ridiculous fluff of a baby shower invite the one that disturbed me the most was ‘womb’.

Now what’s wrong with something simple and elegant like this?

A has successfully sperminated C y’all. We’re getting together to celebrate. Bring alcohol.

The end.

Ashish Uncle if you’re reading this do NOT tell on me.


I love Lucy said...

LOL...and bring thats a baby shower I would love to go to...otherwise they can be pretty lameass

Anonymous said...

Yikes.. that was sent out for true? I thought it was some weird forward...

The Bride said...

Babies arrrrrgh! Please go read this

Pri said...

ooh i love angry little books. this one sounds lovely. also thanks to u and your lovely little article i learnt a new word - fecundity. it means fertility anthe. who knew?

Loved this - "If people did not have kids they'd think about what they really want and just go out and do it."

And this - "any dissident, any woman who actually does not want a child, is viewed as neurotic, obsessed by her career or a lesbian."

Fabulous! Thanks dulhanjee. so any khush khabri yet?

falstaff wrote this super fun post a while back about annoying people and their annoying children. let me see if i can find it.

Pri said...

alright i hit the jackpot y'all. here's not one but 3 separate blog posts by 2 super funny bloggers. the only thing they have in common are babies and their proud parents.

falstaff talks babies

falstaff tells u what to do when you receive baby picture spam

and finally

twisted DNA talks about internet savvy newborns

Bikerdude said...

Eeks!! Id bring alcohol even to this baby shower, just to get over the umbilical cord

Dr. Sathyavan Savithri said...

dont u ever wanna have babies of ur own?

Pri said...

If by babies you mean babies then hell no!

the wannabe indian punkster said...

bring alcohol.

And dont forget the Cuervo.

we are very happy for you as you give birth to this Omni-potently pristine soul, metamorphosing even the most capricious iota of evil into a sky of unshakably peerless truth; with the divine righteousness in his tiny soul!

WTF is this? Were they smoking something when they composed this?

Omni-potently pristine soul

Oh lord I think I'm incapacitated due to laughter.

the wannabe indian punkster said...

Oh, and have fun. :P

The Bride said...

Hee too funny! I must so though, that it does to take a ton of effort to actually produce babies in between the having sex and the plopping of them on the world, which is one more reason to avoid the whole thing.

TS said...




Pri said...

@the wannabe indian punkster: um im not planning to grace this occasion, although its a pity because i will have to miss unparalleled festoons of happiness.

@ts: you big fat liar! i read your blog fool! you're totally planning on having tons and tons of little babies.

gaybharathgay said...

@ pri: r u stalking ts?

Anonymous said...

@ GBG:

Don't you know Pri stalks everyone? Don't you know how good she is at this? She's probably reading all his Orkut scraps and all everyday with her fake profile(s) and also stalking the people who scrap him by now.

gaybharathgay said...

@ anonymous karen:

does she stalk u too? does it turn u on?

Pri said...

boys boys we all know ive been over orkut for a while now.

Pri said...

also this stalking thing if tiring y'all so i have reserved that only for national level cricketers.

karan said...

Thu. You are talking about Cricket again? Let me tell you about Cricket. I have one Wicket and one Ball, no.