Books make me Loony

This evening after i got done reading 'The interpreter of maladies' I felt very dreamy. I made my Pillsbury rolls extra carefully and i thought my fingers moved very artistically as they rolled/folded [?] the dough. I also noticed that the smell reminded me of gulab jamun dough and then i started dreaming of jamuns and that reminded me of Bhagathrams which reminded me of Commercial street and then i got sad because i realised that its been over 19 months since I've been back home. But then i watched the television for a while and ate my dinner rolls with strawberry jam and i felt better.

p.s If any of you have read the book what was your favourite story?

An eye opener

So while the rest of you had a regular day doing your regular things someone somewhere had an eye opening experience. My good friend Soupie [who might as well co-author this blog with me] made a discovery yesterday in her bathroom of all places. Supposedly she is in the habit of checking all corners of the bathroom for strange objects that could possibly be hidden cameras. In her words "No Pri, i always search the rooms and toilets for hidden cameras...you have to you know ...especially when you're moving in with boys." So yesterday our good friend actually spotted a strange looking object which she claimed looked very much like a camera. And so she decided to test it. "It looked like a camera at first so i kept it near my eyes, looked deep into the camera like object and pressed the button." Only it wasn't a camera it was a *drum roll* ...........................Air Freshener!

I went: OMG! Please tell me you're joking.
She went: No Pri, I'm not but my eyes do smell nice now and they're refreshed grrrrrrrrr...

Dont go :(

I just saw this. The article states that Kumble had made the decision before the World Cup but I hadn’t heard about it till just now when I saw the tiny caption on MSN India under ‘More on the World Cup’. The news didn’t even make the main Headlines box right on top. ‘Australia beat the Windies’ it tells us. Duh! I could’ve told you that yesterday.
I’m not ready for Kumble to go. He’s one of those special cricketers from my generation. He’s always been around. I can’t blame him though. He hasn’t really been treated well especially over the last few years with Harbhajan being the preferred spinner. Kumble’s always been a match winner for us and a true gentleman, someone every Bangalorean and every Indian will always be proud of.

Dekho Baarish ho rahi hain ... its raining its raining its raining

One of my favouritest songs i love to hate composed and SUNG [ugh] by Anu Malik when he first tried his hand at 'Indipop'. Hopefully the mood hasn't been completely ruined. Here's more pictures from that rainy day. [They were taken on a camera phone and i dont know the first thing about photography so dont judge]

She sat by the lamp reading her new book stopping every now and then to smell the pages, finding it harder to concentrate on every new short story when the previous one was still fresh in her mind, distracted by the new colourful Easter socks she had found on sale earlier that day now wondering why they were even on sale when it wasn't Easter yet, looking up every now and then at the muted television where they were discussing the World Cup she no longer had any interest in.

Random friend [I’ve been requested to protect identity]: Promise me you won’t ask him okay?

Pri: Okay okay.

Random friend: So I was talking to X … just random talk about being in love with my new bag [I am so in love] when X says: Oh cool. I’m so into sling bags now. Last week I got a Louis Vuitton grey suede sling.

Random friend: Ahem ahem theoretically men+slings = metro-sexual (we like)
BUT BUT in India men+slings = homosexual

Really Pri, remember that nagging doubt we had?
Well I think is true.
The first boy I kissed is G*A*Y

Why it’s too early to make Yuvraj ‘Gaddu’ Singh captain of the Indian cricket team. [According to Soupie]

She said:

"I’m not ready to be First Lady of the Indian Cricket team [yet] for the following reasons:

1. The man who’s going to be captain doesn’t know I want to be his wife/better half [wtf with this person my half's as good as it gets]
2. We haven’t been introduced. [In other words he doesn’t know I exist]*
3. He's too young to have Yamraj [our son] who I dream will one day ‘coincide’ his test debut with his father's farewell game.
4. Umm I’m not ready to be a lady.
5. Kb hasn't graduated from Fashion School = hasn’t started making ‘tish’ first lady clothes yet = I wont be able to wear designer hats, sip tea and clap while blowing kisses = simple Kb isn’t ready to dress the Jackie O of International Cricket.
6. I will ONLY, I repeat ONLY marry the proposed captain, when there’s a good chance my friends can meet and "mingle" [freely very freely] with fellow team members which is not possible at present time.

Yeah so for now that's it. Make it a petition if you like.”

* I beg to differ Soupie. There was that one time at Spinn [when he was with that same random foreigner girl who left him waiting outside the ladies room at Insomnia] when he totally checked you out.


A few minutes later:

Soupie: I admit it's funny...the whole Gaddu thing but Pri we have to keep it a secret. What if it leaks out after I marry him? He can never find out how obsessed i was with him. It'll ruin all our chances.

Pri: I love how my friends are as delusional as i am.

All this free time and nothing to do

Now that we're out of the world cup I find myself completely bored with absolutely nothing to do. You see I had this whole month planned out and now suddenly i have all this time to catch up on movies and search for ring tones and check out upcoming Desi musicians and read marriage proposals etc...

I just discovered Pappumobile.com. Yes its a real site... for Desi ring tones. I downloaded "Chak de Phattey" from that "Khosla ka Ghosla" movie. Super fun song. I've already made my mother call me twice just so i can listen to it.

I also finally watched 'Morning Raga'. Shabana Azmi did better than i thought as a South Indian classical singer. The accent was very believable.

There's this really talented musician i recently discovered. I emailed him to ask if it was okay to play some of his music on this site and he said yes. Unfortunately i have no idea how to save it onto my Stickam player. Help! In the meanwhile you can check him out here.

One of my very silly friends made a fake profile for me without my knowledge [apparently I'm not the only one with nothing to do] on Shaadi.com and some random Srilankan singles website. I'm not sure what the profile says but I'm getting marriage proposals from random Srilankan men and women [i think they're women...i cant really tell by the names] Here are two of my most favourite emails. And to think i almost deleted them without reading them first. You'll be glad i didn't.

Hello Dear,

My name is M*****a W*******n and i am 26 years old male living in Orchard the heart city of Singapore..I saw your profile and I found it very unique and interesting and i greatly admire you and your personality, thus i decided to correspond with you asap and try to get to know you more better.
I hardly correspond with people on net but there's something about you which caught my attention and i decided to write to you in the hope that you will reply my E-mail and give me the chance to make this relationship of ours take a step further.Well, I will be eagerly waiting for your quick response and I am certain that I did make a right choice in corresponding with you.
I want to be your friend,for friendship cannot be seen or even be touched; it must be felt within the heart. I do very much believe you will feel same way. Wow, friends are like clothes, without them you feel naked! I guess am right? So please if you accept my friendship, then please reply to me and i will let you know more about me.
Looking forward for a wonderful reply from you.My E-mail address is: m***************e@aol.com
Mob: +65-********
I will be waiting to hear from you soonest.Take care of yourself and have a nice day.

Urs M*****a


Hello priya,

How are you and how is going on your works? I am L****n from srilanka(Tamil). I saw your profile in Visit Srilankan Lovers.com.I would like to reply for the ad. Do you want to know about my family and me? I am a Banker in Bank of Ceylon. I am not married. Height 5 foot 10. 25 years old. Now I am following degree in financial service. I am the only Chile in my parents my father is a business man .mother is a house wife. Other our relation in London (my mum brother family), Australia (my father one of the brother family), Swiss (my mum brother and sister) and Kandy (Gampola).Our properties in Colombo and Eastern provincial. If you accept call me +94******** or E.mail:k_l*****n@yahoo.com. I attached my pictures .can you send me your picture, contact details and May I know about your family and more details about you. What about your decision inform that me.
I expect your reply. take care bye.


Thank you
Regards
L*****n

Also it's K to the B's birthday tomorrow. Let's all wish her as she celebrates being 24! You're getting old La! If Soupie and I were closer we could've brought you real cake and sung "Hyappy Budday to You" completely off key in Filmy style but not to worry there's always high speed Internet. We'll think of some way to do eet the group celebration.

March 23rd isn't a very auspicious day for us is it?

My morning started like this:

[I was bathed and dressed by 6:45 am wearing my newly purchased tri-colour tee shirt from desithreads.com, with upma & kesaribath packed for a dozen people and on my way to watch the match when i realised i dont ever wake up early enough to see the sunrise]

and ended like this:

[on the way back home at 7:30 pm in the rain]

Yes both these pictures were taken while driving and no i'm not suicidal.

Brilliant Marketing strategy

I just read this

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Obviously these people consulted an astrologer before coming up with this marketing plan.

It's pouring outside! It never rains in Colorado. I think the whole world is crying.
Well at least 1/6th of the world.

Goodbye Inzi

So the story goes that Imran Khan first saw him when he was a young boy. He thought there was something special about him and picked him to play in the Pakistan side. Inzamam Ul Haq went on to become a brilliant batsman. I've always made fun of Inzi for his size, his expressionless face, his fielding, the stuff he mutters before the start of every presentation ceremony interview. When he announced his retirement I along with everyone else criticised his insensitive timing but today when i saw the man wiping tears from his eyes as he left the ground for the last time i felt so so sad. I watched with shock when Pakistan was eliminated from the WC and Woolmer dropped dead or was made to drop dead. I scoffed at people who said it was due to a heart attack. But it was only today that it hit me. I cant imagine what this man has gone through these last few days. A world cup surrounded with talk of murder and match fixing. Playing today's match must've been incredibly hard for him. Any batsman is emotional on his last outing in the middle but under these circumstances without even a proper farewell... i cant even imagine.
So here's to Inzi one of the greatest batsman of our generation.

We're done with winter [i think] and it's time to shop!

After bag lady left yesterday I spent the rest of the evening obsessively trying to find the Chloe bag online. In the process I ended up finding lots of cute spring/summer clothes. [I prefer not to say outfits. It’s very twelve year old girl … or seventy year old lady. Although lots of people think I sound 12. Hmm…] Anyway when I got done with work I had this sudden urge to go to the mall and so I did in spite of knowing I only had 90 minutes of shopping time. It’s not much but you’d be amazed at my time management skills when it comes to shopping.
So I go to Nordstroms and of course they’re having a shoe sale! [Apparently they knew I was coming] I did see a pair of sandals I liked but they kinda looked like some other shoes I had so I kept them aside for when I was leaving. I always park outside Nordstroms cause in case I don’t find anything else I can always find perfume or pretty sparkly earrings there [which don’t look as sparkly once you go home. It’s all in the lighting I tell you. Note to self - don’t keep falling for this.] That way I won’t feel like my shopping trip has been a complete waste of time. You know how tragic it can be when you don’t find anything.
Next I went into NY & Co. They normally have fun summer clothes and they did. I always feel bad though for the dressing room clothes refolding person so I always give them a big smile when I leave. I would not like that job. I did find the perfect summer pants. They fit perfectly and they’re light enough for summer but not too casual for work. I’m wearing them right now actually but I’m concerned they might look like scrubs. I guess it’s because they’re navy. I just asked B for her opinion and she has reassured me that they do not look like scrubs.
My last stop was Banana Republic where I found this beautiful white shirt with embroidery on it. Sort of Lucknow chicken work style but not really. I also found an adorable white denim jacket and a pretty brown summer sweater. I was very happy with myself. When I got done it was way past 9 [so much for my time management skills!] and Nordstroms had already pulled down their shutters which meant I had no idea how to get to my car. The only person I saw in the hall was creepy guy with European accent. You know the one in every mall with the hand lotion stall who tries to seduce his way into making a sale. I had no choice but to ask him where the nearest exit was. Luckily I guess he’d already packed up for the day [or maybe he thought I had gorgeous skin] anyway he didn’t try to sell me anything. I managed to get out of the building but had to walk like halfway around the mall to reach my car. All this with two humongous shopping bags [one threatening to fall apart] and my super ginormous handbag because God forbid I leave the house without everything!

And today L and I were trying to find shoes online and we came across some very hideous looking shoes. For example wtf is this? L thinks it looks like a cast.

What do you do when you're bored at work and Orkut is blocked?

Well I totally abuse the office email.


Soupie wrote:

You there psycho?

I had a near death experience.
I was drinking in a pub. The music sounded really weird, like a broken record. That continued for about half an hour. Apparently it was the f****& fire alarm. Goddamn people at the pub didn't realise. As we had it we were stuck underground as well, since the pub was called Bunker. So we evacuated with a huge uproar outside. Three fire engines dousing a fire right above us. People were crazy they carried out their drinks and were watching as if it was part of the evening entertainment.
Heeheheee... I survived and I write to tell the tale.
Aren't you glad I survived?


I wrote:

OMG YEAH I’M SO GLAD U DIDN'T DIE. I DON'T THINK I COULD TAKE IT SOUPA AFTER BOB WOOLMER’S DEATH AND ALL. IN OTHER NEWS I HAD A NEAR PANIC ATTACK MYSELF. THIS LADY CAME IN TODAY CARRYING THE MOST GORGEOUS BAG EVER. IT WAS CHLOE, THE CREAM COLOURED ONE. SUPPOSEDLY HER MOTHER IN LAW GOES TO HONGKONG ALL THE TIME AND BRINGS HER TONS OF BAGS. SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING TO GIVE IT AWAY AND SHE THOUGHT SHE WOULD WEAR IT BEFORE THAT AND SO L AND I WERE LIKE UM IF U WANT TO SELL IT WE'D BE VERY INTERESTED. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL SOUPIE. SHE SAID SHE’D COME IN AGAIN AND BRING MORE. IT’S WEIRD THIS IS THE 2ND LADY THIS WEEK I'VE SEEN WITH A BEAUTIFUL BAG.
SO UM WHO DID U GO CLUBBING WITH? B??? [REFERRING TO OUR ONLY SEMI CELEBRITY CRICKETER FRIEND]


Soupie wrote:

Ohh that bag sounds yummy. Thanks for hiding your genuine concern about my safety. Its always comforting to know what rests in your kind heart :)
I went for drinks not clubbing. M and one of the gals from Uni who's moving to Manchester. Not B. What do I say to him if I meet him more than once a fortnight? I have to give it some time heheee....
What’s with you and KB typing a whole e-mail in caps? It’s rude!
Biatch what’s for lunch???

I wrote:

Whatever! I’m totally concerned. I’ve already told lotsa people about your near death experience. I’m even contemplating eating a donut to celebrate u not dying or getting burnt. Imagine if your hair or something caught fire. Well at least now u have something to talk to B about. Heeeeeeee. U just do drinks now eh? All grown up! I want to go home…NOW but I can’t. I’m stuck here. Forever! Why didn’t KB buy Chloe bags for us when she went to HongKong? So mean. Supposedly they’re like 20 bucks. I swear it didn’t look fake at all. It’s perfect. I’m hoping she’ll be back that lady.
I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do u want to write about this near death experience or anything else? I’m looking for contributions for my blog. Oh no this old lady just walked up and she’s trying to make conversation with me. How do I make her leave?

Oh and do u think I’m obsessed with my blog? Like u know how KB is obsessed with teaching us the nuisances of eye shadow application and u with I don’t know googling Yuvraj and Kim Sharma pics. [Omg I typed nuisances instead of nuances and it still totally works]

Soupie wrote:

Look her deep in the eyes and tell her you find her attractive.
That'll do the trick.
Chloe bags from Hong Kong? We'll get one of the lads to bring them for us. Really!
Too much drinkin that's what's happening pri. Beer on an alternate day basis for the last 2/3 weeks. That's what's gonna lead to me writing "How to grow a pot belly" memoir. While you’re at it eat a lemon poppy seed muffin. They can be your best friends when your human best friends aren't around.
Hee heee
Also in the same aisle a few other friends to look out for.
Carrot cake with cream cheese frosting(I esp love it cause it sounds like a health bar) uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

I wrote:

Um lads? What lads? And who says lads anymore? You sound so British!!!

Soupie wrote:

Lads = not boy not man yet.
It’s a good word Pri really!
What was buddi's reaction????

I wrote:

Um how does carrot cake with cream cheese frosting sound like a health bar? Carrot should never be mixed with cake. Gross. Imagine like ladies finger cake or like paavakka [bitter gourd] cake? Oh also never ever say ladies finger in America. They look at u kinda strange.

Soupie wrote:

Carrot cake is yummy. I swear on Corner House's Brownie fudge sundae and pineapple passion. Emmethika people call it Okra no?
So dumb!

I wrote:

Buddi left with her oxygen tank. Boss also left for the day. I’m super happy!

Soupie wrote:

Is this the boss from some weird African country????
Ugh I have to do my weekly obligatory talk to P soon. So annoying!

I wrote:
UM THAT WAS THIS OTHER LADY, NOT MY BOSS! AND IVE TOLD U THIS LIKE 400 TIMES. BOSNIA IS IN EUROPE NOT AFRICA!


Wow and before I knew it it was time to go home. :)

Just do it India!

If you don't live in India you've probably never seen this ad. Just a little something to cheeer you up after one of the saddest weekends in International cricket.
[Dont forget to turn off the stickem player at the bottom of the page so you can hear the audio]

Phone calls from friends after the first match

Kb: What the fuck just happened Pri? And who is this next team we're playing? Brrr?
Pri: Eh?
Kb: Yeah yeah i just checked the schedule and it says India is playing brrr.
Pri: Oh u mean B E R? Um kb that would stand for Bermuda.
Kb: Eh? Now Bermuda triangle also sends team to WC aa? Hmmm do u think we can beat them?
Pri: Ya kb we're not that bad! [secretly hoping she doesn't have to eat her words in 2 days]

Sid: So my mum and I were discussing our pathetic performance after the match and then my phone rings and i was like who is this calling from some 4 digit number. Nodidre it was this annoying recorded message from Sachin Tendulkar saying Cheer for India or some crap.
Pri: Wat? OMG! The airtel one?
Sid: Yeah
Pri: Talk about timing
Sid: Ya da the last time i got one of those it was Atal Bihari Vajpaaye asking for my vote.

We just lost to a B grade team filled with a bunch of teenagers with really really bad teeth.

We just lost to a B grade team filled with a bunch of teenagers with really really bad teeth. As T very politically correctly put it earlier today "Abe yaar Bangladesh hi to hain. They have floods throughout the year. No food nothing. The whole country is starving. Don't worry yaar they can never beat us". If you're trying to find the logic in this statement don't bother because there is none much like Dravid's strategy today. Let's see what he did right. Well there was the winning of the toss. I'll give him that. He did that very well. Now for the things he did wrong - Karthik has been in amazing form so he drops him and picks Veeru our IN FORM batsman! Uthappa and Dada have been a good opening pair in the recent past but of course Veeru was made to open. And what a splendid job he did! Kumble watched the game from the dressing room while Bhajji [who hasn't taken a wicket since the last century no seriously since the last century, think about it] was on the field doing what he does best...Nothing! Oh and everybody's favourite ALL ROUNDER Ajit Agarkar was picked ahead of Sreesanth and Pathan. Patel [our best bowler in the warm up matches] was made to bowl first change while Agarkar got to open the bowling with Zak. Now Agarkar as we all know is an ALL ROUNDER. Ahem so he got to bat ahead of Zak. And you know who got to bat ahead of them both? Why of course out favourite Bhajji bhaiyya. Oh and Munaf Patel hit a four today. Yeah he managed to connect the bat to the ball and then actually hit it and it reached the ropes. I don't know how it all came together but he did it. I felt like a proud mother. Actually never mind. My kid could never be that ugly. Although Patel does look less ugly since he cut off his goldie locks. Oh and while i was watching the splendid game i had to also listen to my annoying friend ask me lame questions like "Do you think the match has been fixed?" and "Who is winning now?" and "What will you guys do if India loses today?" followed by high pitched giggling. I had very very violent thoughts of what i wanted do to her but i sat quiet and ate my butta which was delicious by the way with lots of salt and chilli powder and lime. Anyway i know this match sucked big time [but hey at least we didn't lose to Ireland. I still cant believe Pakistan is out of the WC] but let's look at the positives. It's a loud wake up call for India nice and early. We always do this [remember the '99 WC and the '03 WC?] but we always scrape through to the next round. Hopefully this will teach Dravid and Chappal who not to pick and who not to send where. By the by Where's Vengsarkar? I'm still hoping he gets really mad after today and decides to fire Chappal on the spot and reinstate Dada as captain. They can even hire John Wright back as temporary coach since he's right there trying his level best to do decent commentary. He's not very good at it. His book on the other hand is lovely. If we want to win this world cup we need to pick our strongest team which would be: Dada, Uthappa, Dravid, Sachin, Yuvi, Karthik, Dhoni, Zaheer, Pathan or Sreesanth, Kumble, Munaf Patel and in that order. Look our tail now looks way more decent. If you're not into cricket [i don't know why you'd still be reading this] but the whole tail thing is cricket related so don't raise your eyebrows at me. Oh and don't forget to pray especially on the 19th and the 23rd. It could determine the fate of 15 people. They might never be allowed into India again. .
Also whats with the energy level on the ground? Someone please hand our useless captain and his favourite fast bowler Agarkar some high energy drink and Yuvraj some coffee. Did anyone else catch him yawning on the ground today?
By the by who's adopting the Pakistan team? They have no home the poor souls.

I'm just a wee bit tipsy...

So I've been drinking again. You know to um celebrate the World Cup. Look the drinks are even Team India coloured.





K i think i'm going to go to bed. I have to wake up at 7am to watch the first match. Dont u just love World cup time?

ML tries to watch a YouTube video

ML: What ‘muffin’ video do you guys keep talking about?

P: Okay go to google

ML [looking very confused]: Um Google?

P: Yeah. Do you know how to go to Google?

2 minutes later

ML: Yeah I’m on Google.

B: Okay now type in www.youtube.com

ML somehow gets onto www.Uube.com

B and P cracking up: No no not ‘uube’ – ‘youtube’

ML is now on www.Tube.com

B: No no ML. It’s Youtube

ML types in www.youtube

ML: Nothings happening.

B: Um you have to type in the .com part

ML: Oh okay. Is this it?

B: [giggling hysterically]: OMG I think I have to pee

P: Okay. Now search for muffins

ML: Where do I search?

B: You see that white rectangle? Type ‘muffins’ in there

P: Okay now click on the first video.

ML clicks on second video [which luckily happens to be the same as the first] and proceeds to watch the first whole minute with no volume.

Bag spotting and soufflé making

L: Did u see that lady’s bag?
P: No. Why? Is it nice or ugly?
L: Ooh it’s nice.

I walk over to B’s office pretending to look for something

B [in uncalled for grumpy voice]: What do you want?
P: Nothing. I just came over here so I can walk back and check out that lady’s bag. So this is a fake conversation.
B: What lady?
B: Oh did I tell you I hate my job?
P: Yeah. Me too

I walk back casually glancing in bag lady’s direction.

L: Did you see?

Mmm hmmm, I nod approvingly.

L: Where do you think it’s from?
P: I don’t know but it’s fabulous [I say, sounding very Jay Manuelesque*]
L: Would it will be weird if I asked her where she got it?
P: No. But pretend you just saw it and you love it.
L: Okay

I walk back to my seat all satisfied with my grand accomplishment for the morning.

It’s been a half hour and I’m still dreaming about the bag.

I WANT IT!!!

I would also like to announce that I was tricked [by my mother] into making five large trays of pineapple soufflé last night. Originally I was going to make one tray which then became two and then three and then five. I felt like a freakin caterer. 40 eggs were used in the process. 40! But I did feel all professional when I got done. I gloated to Soupie [who taught me how to make it] about it and she was very proud of me. It’s the only thing I can make but I make it well. Don’t tell her but I think my soufflé is better than hers.



Voila!