Friday, April 27, 2007

WHY? WHY? WHY? [to be sung to the tune of NSYNC's 'bye bye bye']

So remember how my jobless friends made fake profiles for me on shaadi.com and some random Sri Lankan lovers Website? Well in spite of all my efforts to block/spam folder them one or two do sneak into my inbox and last night I got this:

Hi,

I am T****** I lives in Monterey Ca, (It's beautiful here)

Interested Wink me Back. Attach Photo

I will let you know lot about me if you write back.

T******a

Take care. (Send me a Picture) will come down there in my motocycle
Will even take you for a ride in the back.
Hey you should write to me back.

Bye.


So I forwarded the email with the attached photo of the man [muscles intact and all, posing in front of some scenic backdrop] to my friends.
I wrote:


WHY? WHY? WHY???????????

Soupie of course was overjoyed by the response to the fake profile and wrote:


har har har.. Stop it I'm gonna pee.
As you'd put it. Entha hotness!!! Send him a wink back no puleeeeeeeeeeeese.
He's the one; let me and the beebi do an interview with him.


Interview will be conducted as follows.

Q1. How much time are you willing to devote to TV viewing per annum?

Q2. What are your favourite TV shows?

Q3. We do understand you’re from Sri Lanka. First let me take this opportunity to say I forgive you, we forgive you. Where you were born is no fault of yours. We'll blame it on your parents, who chose to follow RAVANA.
To make up for this default/defect. Are you ....... willing to machine wash the Sri Lankan t-Shirt until it acquires a delicate shade of Sky blue?
You will also be putting ‘I hate’ in front of the words "Sri Lanka" thus proving allegiance to your adoptee country and hort beateress.

Q4. Our priya is a very sensitive girl. She like things kept in the open, secrets scare her. Surprises petrify her.
Keeping this in mind, will you thereby continue to show those muscles please? In our country mans are allowed to wear spaghetti (straps) backless, tube etc etc.
The idea being, we don't want the bride to be to be surprised or scared on the Hunima rathri that will be the "Suhaag ke Raath".

Q5.What is your kind name please???
Okie stop, I don't actually want to know. We will change it to Karthik/ Vishwas.

Q6. How good are you at the biology and what is your opinion on breast implants?
We ask this now keeping in mind our dear girl. See it's very common; she's allergic to childbirths and childrens. But I repeat she would like to have half a dozen (2 bowlers, 2 batsmen, 1 all-rounder and 1 wicket keeper) Will you nownewlynamed be willing to do breast feeding's, pregnancy as well as general up keepings of the childrens? Our girl will willingly use your bank account and be solely responsible with the coaching and dressing of our half-team.

Okie na?
appdi agreeda???
These we repeat are just the initial qualifiers. We are liking your profile and sceneries. If we are satisfied with your answers we will be post marking the beloved chaluve preeya and be posting to the required destinations.

Signed
Beebi Bagamane
Peepee Devadas
Co-Founders PreeYA'a Motrimonials.

4 comments:

Ph said...

I like entha hotness very much. It shall be incorporated into everything I say. FYI.

Drama Queen said...

Hehehe.. How much funnier can you'll get?? But how kind and thoughtful of your friends to post your profile on a matrimonal website. I wish I had such thoughtful friends *Sigh* .. Heheh..

Ashwin said...

Ho! ho!

Loved the Entha hotness display pic you have up there.

VeenS said...

enthaa hotness!!

I liked the last point on breast implants and biology!!

Gosh did you ever send this to the-newly-named guy? What would be his reply on the questions!? OR would there be any reply at all
:D