Sunday, November 18, 2007

now little children. lettuce listen to the wind as we reach for the rainbow. lettuce smell the grass. oh you're too young for that? never mind then.

this was the final question at the recently held miss earth pageant where miss india came in second in spite of wearing this hideous outfit which looked like something beyonce threw up. do i make you proud perezhilton?

how would you explain the beauty of mother earth to a blind child?

how can you not love this question? it's so pageanty, yet so earthy. and it even mentions a blind child.

this was miss canada's winning answer:

"i would say that the beauty of mother nature smells as sweet as the sweetest rose. that the beauty of mother nature feels as soft as the softest leaf. and that the beauty of mother nature sings like the birds in the trees."

so much BS. so much fun! which is why i want to hear your own over the top ridiculous super lame answer to the above question.

p.s don't forget to thank the judges for the opportunity. you may also stall for time by using a translator.


The Bride said...

Did you notice the baleful look of the girl in red behind vomitously-dressed Ms India?

KayB said...

what de hell is that dress??? she looks like a cow with scales on it... uuughhh... de designer needs to be run over by a truck!

sorry i dont do pagent questions...
anymore criticising and/or bitching to be done?

White Magpie said...

You cant show light to a blind child. Best is to sit with the child in the first showers of the rains and smell the earth

Bikerdude said...

Yes correct, make it sit in rain, smell mud, bake child in middle of sahara desert and instantly freeze to icicle in antarctica.

Papa child will never want to have anything to do with nature again.

I'm thinking you must describe dodmori, hosur road, beef market etc and tell child "Boss you aint missin nothin."

Thank you judges for voting me miss universe. Mwah mwah sob sob.

Coo said...

Hi, just discovered your blog and read your archives!

from one bengalooru hudgi to another - sakkath maga!

TS said...

"Could you tell me a little more about this woman, Mrs.Earth. You know, like, err, what she looks like and stuff?"

Ramsu said...

I'd take the child to Marathahalli Bridge and ask him to inhale deeply for five minutes. Then I'd tell him that the beauty of mother nature is the exact opposite. Assuming the kid's still alive, that is.

This isn't working. Can I just smile and say "I want world peace" instead?

And what exactly is that Indian woman wearing? Is this the PETA version of a mermaid costume, saying "I'm a tree from the waist down"?

Krish Ashok said...

Back in college, when India was winning more or less every beauty pageant on earth and the neighbouring galaxies, a couple of pals and me wrote a "Guide to Answering Beauty Pageant Question round Questions" with "5 years Question Papers Fully Solved. 100% Success assured". It contained all the dos ("Mention Mother Teresa, World Peace, and Solving Poverty") and the donts (Case studies of Madhu Sapre etc)

Looks like our desi pageant babes need to start brushing up on that guide. We are not winning enough nowadays.

Richa said... of mother earth. Just explain to him/her that the most beautiful creation of mother earth is life itself and he/she lives it everyday. So in a way he/she is part of that beauty.

I don't know whether judges will buy it or not as it doesn't have any world peace or poverty issues but most probably the kid will listen.

Richa said...

BTW, I spent past 5 minutes watching Disco Shanti. Why does he headbutt the aquarium wall so often? Hope he isn't trying escape like Nemo.

PS: I fed him for the day as well...

Renovatio said...

Dude, your fish eats with it's blowhole or something.

SloganMurugan said...

Finally someone who calls Benagluru Bengaloor.

narendra shenoy said...

First of all, thank you for giving me the opportunity to answer this wonderful question. Mother earth is beautiful, dear blind child, because of the Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa and World Peace. The Green Environment Emission Control Green HOuse effect and HIV control make it even more beautiful. And you are not blind, just opticcally disadvantaged. Peace to all and ban all Nuclear Weapons.

Thanks for chooosing me as your Miss Universe