Thursday, September 13, 2007

at least it wasn't a horror movie

are you one of those people who goes to the movies alone? no? why? because you think its looserly? well i'm a loser then. i've always gone to movies alone. wait that sounds terrible. what i mean is anytime i've wanted to watch a movie that no one else has wanted to watch [and there have been a lot of those because i like to watch odd movies and i'm not one of those people who will wait for it to come on dvd] and bribery hasn't worked, i've gone by myself, even back home in Bangalore. Of course my parents aren't aware of this. "Pa, evening class, because err exams are coming up no".

today since mother isn't talking to me and everyone else i know is at work and i am friendless in my new city *sob* plus i really don't think its wise for me to be walking around anymore shops and i'm too bored to go home i decide to go watch a movie, any movie.

i'm early but i'm like ill just sit around and text random people till the trailers start. so i walk in and the theater is empty, like not a single person in sight. i realise this is probably normal since the movie isn't scheduled to start for another 25 minutes. so i sit down and ten minutes later still no one. now i start to freak out a little. i'm sitting here alone in this huge place. there isn't a soul in sight. as a matter of fact no one even checked my ticket when i came in. that's not normal. then i begin to imagine all kinds of weird shit. what if theres a killer around? or someone walks in and suddenly realises they've always wanted to be a killer, or someone steals all my stuff? damn it why did i have to buy all of this crap?

i try to stay calm but i cant help thinking of all those creepy forwards mother has sent me and all the warnings about never going places alone and without informing someone. i remember all those horrible stories mother has told me about random women who were just out shopping. that lady has got to stop watching all those lifetime movies! i realise i don't even have pepper spray, or a pocket knife. do people even carry pocket knives? hmmm i do have an umbrella but they say its bad luck to open one inside. wait if i'm saving myself from a potential murderer i think using an umbrella would be acceptable. wait why would i need to open it up anyway? i'm so weird. no wonder people wont come with me to watch movies.

i continue to watch the trailers and hope someone shows up. but then i'm confused. do i really want one more person to show up? what if they look creepy? what if two creepy people show up? of course now i realise my mother has no idea where i am. no one will know where to look. omg people will talk for years about the stupid girl who thought she was very brave and continued to sit in a deserted movie hall, risking her life to watch 'the nanny diaries'.

i try to distract myself. i imagine blogging about this when i get back home. the thought is wonderful. it means i survived to talk about it. it is now a funny story. ha! right then i hear footsteps and this is how lame i am, i actually cross my fingers. i don't even have the time to come up with a wish. then i see two figures and they can definitely see me. in fact they're pointing. they come right up to my aisle and i'm like you have got to be kidding me. there are like 200 other seats in this room. finally they pass my aisle and settle down into their seats, two rows behind me. i don't want to turn around because that would be rude but i can tell they're both women and i can hear the sound of shopping bags and i hear munching. what kind of killer walks around with shopping bags and popcorn? i suddenly feel very relieved. i feel like we could all be friends. i want to turn around and tell them how i was all panicking and how i am so glad they showed up but then i realise that would make me sound like a complete idiot. so i just sit there and stare at the screen. their voices are calming. the munching is calming.

ten minutes later they're still chattering and now i'm kind of annoyed. i mean the movie has started, its quiet time. a few minutes later they're still chatting nonstop and i'm thinking of changing seats but its dark and i really don't want to fall down the stairs, plus i can locate only one of my shoes. right then the lady's cell phone goes off, and she answers it! i mean this is directly disrespectful to me because i'm the only other person in the hall. i turn around and glare. i have no idea if she can see me. i suddenly miss having the theater all to myself.

about half an hour into the movie they finally shut the fuck up and i'm able to enjoy the rest of my movie. that scarlett johansson has such flawless skin. i hate her!

p.s ironically there's an umbrella in the movie, a red one. every time she held it she would fly. just thought i'd share that with you.


11 comments:

freespirit said...

Thanks to bizarre circumstances,the fact that you carried an umbrella struck a chord. As i said bizarre...I've received 3 umbrellas as gifts in the last one week and I have no idea why! When someone continuously gifts you a deo/body spray, you know you have a BO problem. What on earth does an umbrella signify under these circumstances? Going by the theory in your post, warning that some psychopath is out to get me?

rads said...

hehe, classic sign of "be careful of what you wish for" :D

Seriously, she flies?

The Nomad said...

I go for movies on my own! :) for the very same reasons too! In fact I think its really great and I keep prodding my girl friends who think its weird... have helped a few crossover :D

Dusty Fog said...

Safe to say that it ain't a bad thing to be out alone watching a movie. My first many moons ago was - Schindler's List. And plennty thereafter. Mind you, not always by choice, but circumstances dictated it.

shub said...

:D You're a riot, Pri. I love the big fonts. can UNDERSTAND the pheeling behind them.

But seriously, when're you startng work, again? [ asking out of gennnral concern for youvar well-being and that of your neighbours only]

Su said...

*or someone walks in and suddenly realises they've always wanted to be a killer*

Ha Ha. You are crazy. Er...in a good way.

Bombay Addict said...

Oh I've seen tons of movies alone. It is such fun. Last movies I saw alone were "Snakes on a plane" followed by "United 93" - back to back. Huh!

??! said...

dravid quit, and you're not posting? gasp!

Ph said...

I almost watched 'Walk The Line' alone, but right after the panic attack moment the senior citizens and thd cozy couples trooped in bearing noisy bags of popcorn. Most annoying.

Renovatio said...

Wow, what kind of a movie were you watching that no one showed up in the entire theater... or is that common... I don't have the patience to watch movies in theaters, my legs never fit properly in the alloted leg space, and I don't like the front row seats.

That was a deliciously descriptive post, I could almost see you acting it out again.

the nanny said...

u missed telling us about the time you bought pop corn... wat the colour of the ticket was .... wat the seat colour was.. BLAH BLAH BLAH...
go on.. bore me.