Saturday, July 21, 2007

Tarkaari shopping Desi style

I'm having friends from work come over for dinner tomorrow night. Everyone except the boss was invited but there was no question of inviting him especially after the kind of behaviour he displayed this past week.

On Wednesday we got a secret phone call from J saying we were going to be audited. The boss went absolutely crazy when he heard this. He ran around like a crazy person all morning trying to finish stuff he should have finished long ago. But since he spends his afternoons staring at the calender, looking for missing pen caps [i kid you not] and scratching his face he never has time to complete what he started. Fortunately for everyone the surprise audit [which he referred to in an email as a CRISIS WE ARE FACING CURRENTLY] never took place and i lived to report this to you.

Back to my party, mother decided we needed to drive down to the Indian store to buy vegetables. Said vegetables are also available at the local grocery store but no no we must get NICE INDIAN VEGETABLES. That way mother can scrutinise each one and buy exactly how many she needs. "What will i do with a whole bag of potatoes from Safeway?" so she bought only 3 nice Indian potatoes.

Luckily for me I spotted a cute Desi boy [which is a rarity where i live] in the tarkaari section inspecting tomatoes. He was accompanied by an incredibly short woman who may have been his wife or little sister. I'm hoping it was his sister. I'm also hoping she was twelve. Either that or she was a dwarf. No wait a midget. [Remind me to tell you the story about the twin midget parking attendants on MG Road sometime.] So i kept my eye on cute boy the whole time we were there. He purchased GOOD DAY biscuit y'all. Can you believe that? Perfect!

Then mother decided she wanted to embarrass me so while we were paying for all the nice Indian vegetables she suddenly requests the poor guy at the counter to break the coconut for her. Apparently one must always check if that thing that looks like a coconut is actually a coconut. After all it might be a really really big furry onion disguised as a coconut.
"You see last time when i bought from you it was not fresh".
"Yes yes i remember madame. Last time also i had checked it for you no. No problem".
"Yes, but can you please break it only in the middle. Last time you broke it into so many small small pieces. It becomes very hard to scrape you know".
She looks around the store for other Desi auntyjees who might empathize with her. She only finds cute Desi boy who has begun to read the free Indian newspaper they keep at the door which always carries ancient news. The poor man then goes outside the store and proceeds to break the tenga right in front of our car. I quickly pray for a win in the ongoing Test match. Why waste a perfectly good offering no? Mother inspects the inside of the coconut. Her inspecting also includes sniffing. At this point I'm dying so i start carrying the bags out to the car and never look back at cute Desi boy.

I'm embarrassed to admit this but I'm listening to an incredibly cheesy song called 'Happy Diwali' from an even more cheesy movie called 'Home delivery' as i type this. For some reason this song makes me extremely happy. It also for some reason reminds me of the songs from the movie 'Anjali' which i also happen to love muchly. Anyone remember 'Motamaadi motamaadi'?

p.s. Anyone watch Indian Idol? I'm so glad Charu's gone. What was with her retarded reaction anyway? "I cant believe this? Are you joking? Please give me one more chance". Um bitch you cant sing. Go the eff away.


shub said...

"I quickly pray for a win in the ongoing Test match. " Teeheee! you're a riot, Pri! :D When I was your age ( shucks, this makes me sound OLDDD!) I used to be this crazy about cricket too! Still am, but now you won't catch me learning up HTML to make a website on The Wall etc! Sigh!

Anil P said...

You can't quite beat Indian Grocery stores out there, can you?

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

lol @ the quick prayer while coconut breakage was taking place. i think it's a mighty good idea.

i also think that chances with cuteboy are pretty slim, sorry to infaaram.

Chelavam Chitrahara said...

wats the Mg road midget story?

Janefield said...

ahahhahahahah! howlarious a/c of desi shopping. cute desi boy must've grabbed nearby newspaper to hide his loffter at amma's exploits :)) all desi amma like this wonly, don't mind it :)

and how do you get to watch indian idol in denver? yeah, charu had begun to think she was indeed the pari of indian idol. who's yo fave?

Pri said...

@shub: heeeee i used to be a big jammy fan too.

@anil: i still think its ridiculous to drive a half hour for tarkaaris available five minutes away.
and hellojee welcome welcome :)

tgfi: wahat? why do u say that? thats just mean. :( that could totally have been his sister.

@rbr/mr chitrahaar: u of all ppl should be familiar with those two.

@janefield: oh i watch it on this illegal online site - courtesy raobharathrao.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

bcos murphy's law is that when one fervently hopes that certain someone is certain someone's sister, it turns out not to be so.

TS said...

The thing with you is that you are naturally funny. Which makes posts about visits to the supermarket entertaining reads as well.

Whatever happened to the boy?

And you HAVE to watch 'Partner.' Just listen to the dialogues.

Krish Ashok said...

heehee. very funny ya. And the only way coconut breaking is going to help the indian team is if it was broken on their heads. Che useless people. Yesterday, I caught them celebrating in the dressing room when the light was offered. Shameless gilli danda amateurs I say

Pri said...

@ts: wah wah! thangyu varry much.

@krish ashok: inspite of the embarrassment i'd still take a draw anyday.

Bhel Puri & Seekh Kabab said...

"Her inspecting also includes sniffing." - omg, okay, that tops my bhindi story. :D

Vijay said...

Very funny... but she did buy the coconut right?