Friday, July 27, 2007

INDIAN IDOL [because there is no show on the planet i am not currently watching.]

You know why Indian Idol is way cooler than American Idol?

Because Indian Idol is American Idol + The Maury Show. Just the other day they interrupted a live performance to have an emotional confession from contestant Abhishek who wanted to tell the world he was adopted. Um okay. We don't care fool.
Then the producers decided this TALENT SHOW needed more drama so they surprise Abhishek by bringing on stage both sets of his parents. Matashri number 1 arrived on stage with handbag, you know just in case she needed to pull out the adoption certificates.
Like seriously who gives a fuck. Sing and get off the stage damn it.

My most favourite Indian Idol quotes this season:

Anu Malik to what's her face: "Your personality is very depressing."
Anu Malik to what's her face [after makeover]: "Your personality is very impressive" followed by crowd cheering.
Um exactly what part of her personality suddenly shone through after the makeover?

"aapko gaane mein bahut taqlif ho rahi thi, mein aapke liye dua maangunga"
which roughly translates to "you were singing like you were in pain.. i will pray for you"

Udit Narayan to contestants on their good days: "Bahuti zabardast performance thi aapki. aap zaroor top 5 mein aayenge"
Udit Narayan to contestants on their bad days: "Aaj aapki performance khaas nahin thi. LEKIN aap bahut acche singer hain aur mujhe poora vishwaas hain ke aap zaroor top 5 mein aayenge"

"Abhishek aapki aawaz ki besttt qvelity yehi hain ke aap ki aawaz mard jaise awwaz hain" - as opposed to Emon who sings like a helium inflated horse?

Anu Malik: "Chaaru please listen to me honestly"

Javed Akhtar: "jis tarah se gaate hain log parties vagera mein..." contestant's face falls even before the end of this sentence.
This is why i love Javed Akhtar.

What's her face said: "ek ladki kabhi lakda nahin bansakthi" because this one contestant happens to dress like a tomboy and sings with some life in her instead of trying to sound like some virginal heroine.

Other fun observations:

Alisha's necklace

Waat eet ees?

It totally reminds me of my aunt's mutton puffs or 'pups' as they are sometimes referred to by family members.

The contestants seriously need to learn how to make appropriate faces at appropriate times. They look absolutely miserable when someone else is singing well. This is where the American idol contestants are well trained. They pretend to enjoy the other performances and smile and cheer. Learn to bitch when the camera is off. Did they not teach you anything in school?

Another reason to watch this show:

Javed Akhtar's facial expressions

Sometimes he really looks like he's in pain.


Amit said...

No comments? Itni nainsaafi!

Fun observations :) Am not that strong enough to watch Indian Idol. Yet.

rebel said...

ek ladki kabhi lakda nahin bansakthi

WTF was this dialogue for.. I have heard this a godforesaken number of times.. every time there is an Indian Idol promo on tv!

And they really had this adopted dude's parents come over? Are you kidding me?

once again said...

i have only seen it like once and omg, they are so badly dressed, even after their makeovers, i cud not take it anymore.

Sharma's Karma said...

ROFL - Stumbled upon your blog via the tubeish intahnet, Xtremely funny!

Irbaz said...

me thinks Udit Narayan shops all his clothes from KIDS KEMP, he wears exactly the same suits the godforsaken mannequins avec horsetail wigs wear..

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

LOLLL. (no) thanks to your posts i wanted to watch the himesh movie and now i want to see indian idol. what is happening to me i say!

Pri said...

@sharma's karma: namskara. wat it be this 'tubeish intahnet'?

Pri said...

@irbaz: muahahahaha u totally watch the show dont u?

The Bride said...

I am amazed you get to watch these shows in the US.

Pri said...

@the bride: i watch it online, some illegal website courtesy raobharathrao.

Bikerdude said...

Heh I remember season one when an enormous Adnan Sami plodded through 1000s of terrible singers and got insulted by 20% of them. Fun times.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed reading your blog :)

Irbaz said...

no pri, i dont actually. i'v seen more of american idol than the indian idol.

does this answer ur query?

Mosilager said...

javed akhtar's about the only honest judge on that thing. but i only say that because he usually says what i'm thinking. although his support for charu bamboozled me. why exactly is alisha on the panel? she's fairly useless from the 2 episodes or so that i've seen.

Pri said...

@anonymous: did u learn anything useful?

Sharma's Karma said...

Not a fan of the daily show I presume :)

Pri said...

@sharma's karma: of course i am. how can one be a true television whore and not be obsessed with the comedy central channel?

but im confused. did u mean to post this comment on the 30 rock post? i get the interweb - series of tubes thing. but indian idol - series of tubes?

Pri said...

@sharma's karma: ohhhhh i just read your first comment. i get it. never mind. im silly.

Janefield said...

hahahhahahaha!!! wotta review. i totally watch this show and its hilarious. am sad i missed parleen going out while i was out trekking in the mountains...this week indian idol shall not miss! must remember to tie knot in hanky to catch repeat of himesssss on koffee with karan also. keep more reviews coming! pls watch star voice of india and zee tv's saregama also and kindly to be giving yr expert comments on same.

Pri said...

right. rabit face got voted off this week. it was sad. he actualy sang in key the last two times.

Anonymous said...

ROFL... And I cant tell you how much I love Javed Akhtar on this show.. he is soooooo coool!!!!