Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Gtalk talk #106324712404

bharath: u read hari puttar?
me: um no
do i look the reading sort?
bharath: yes
me: wat?
no betch
i dont got no time to read
bharath: i can just imagine u with a cuppa tea.. thin watercress sandwiches....... callin yourself tootlepip readin the potter series by the fire
me: most of the books i read are by indian authors [later to be made into motion pictures]
or they're books by ex cricketers [sometimes with pictures]
me: tootlepip?
r u a pothead?
bharath: im not a pothead
i have the online version.
me: of course u do
why did i even ask
bharath: i want to do illegal book spreading.
me: u illegal online book downloading bastard!
bharath: tats offensive.
me: im sorry
me: u illegal online entertainment downloading bastard
bharath: u illegal online music/movie/book downloading bastard. there thats better
me: entertainment covers it all no? by the by where r all the songs i requested months ago?
bharath: not really.
porn is entertainment.
i dont download porn
ill send off from home
me: yes y is it that u havent ventured into the porn business?
bharath: i work based on demand.
me: wat do u mean ull send off from home?
bharath: u demand porn. i get porn.
i have downloaded at home.
me: right
bharath: some problem with my net at home
same rainy season problems
trees fallin.
light poles falling.
all tat.
so net disconnected
me: talking abt porn i was watching this show today where this guy has his porn collection on his bookcase and it lights up occasionally
bharath: LOL
me: the occasion being after a one night stand when the girl doesnt look like shes planning on leaving his apartment
it was hilarious
bharath: irbaz stores his porn in his car dicky
his boot is filled with abt 1000 dvds
me: do u think its sad that most of my sentences start with "i was watching this show today"
bharath: yes it is.
i empathise with your current " I HAVE NO LIFE OTHER THAN TV" situation.
me: its not just current
thats how it has always been
in fact my biggest fear with this whole moving thing is 1) the two day drive where there will be no tv
well except in the hotel room, but hotels dont always have 500 channels
bharath: ur an addict.
plug out ur tv.
me: and 2) once we get there it'll take direct tv some time to set things up
bharath: take a compass.
me: omg and the internet!!
how long do u think that'll take to set up?
bharath: poke it into the socket.
me: omg
bharath: ull be ok
me: i hadnt even thought of that
i will?
ure sure?
bharath: lol
me: wat?
wat compass?
wat socket?
wat r u talking abt?
bharath: nothing,
me: again i ask
u sure ure not a pothaead?
um hello?
thu bevarsi
bharath: no im not.
me: ure not wat? a bevarsi or a pothead?
bharath: im tyouingd thins wikljg m forewewwhjkeasd
i typed tat with my forehead
me: that was lovely
if there was a hooker prize for best forehead writer ud get it
whered u go betch?
bharath: im here only.
me: oh ok
alright i have to go then. i was watching 30 rock when u dinged me
bharath: i think there is some key stuck to my head
me: wat?
wat do u mean?
exactly how large is ure head?
bharath: my f7 key is missing
me: oh i thought u meant like ure carkeys
bharath: no no..... i think its in my head
me: um ok
bharath: shhhhhhhhhhhh
me: why dont u take this time to try and locate these keys
bharath: dont tell anyone
me: right!
bharath: IM SERIOUS
me: do random ppl on my blog count?
cause i think its time for a gtalk talk thing on me blog
its been a while
bharath: despite losing the war, German scientists still remained far ahead of the rest of the world in many fields
me: heeeeee
bharath: yes it is
me: huh?
u crazy bitch go back to sleep

edited 15 minutes later:

me: rbr go see blog
bharath: u just posted our conversation
me: um yes einstein
bharath: did u take my permission
me: i dont need ure permission
bharath: oh then its ok
me: like u took himesh's permission when u sent me the link to aap ha huzoor
bharath: heeeeeeee
i can sing blind man in station song.
me: wat
bharath: ][''\;[';[p';'['
me: its not funny
go away
im watching 30 rock
bharath: i forget to ask u
me: wat?
me: no i will not marry u
bharath: dud u tell mom abt new lapop
bharath: laptop
me: oh that
bharath: err
me: no
bharath: no?
me: she asked me why best buy was sending me bills
and i was like i dont know
they like to hound students
they be crazy
bharath: oho
ur not a student
me: i was last yr
im on a break
a hiatus if u please
bharath: ur a working aunty now
who drinks a latte
me: i do not drink a latte
its a venti 3 pump white mocha no whip
bharath: yeah.. some double whip shit
me: how do u not know this
bharath: yeah...
i keep tabs on ur life
me: well
u should
now go the eff away
im trying to watch some tv
bharath: poof i disappear
me: yay

edited 10 minutes later:

bharath: http://bengloorgirlindenver.blogspot.com/2007/07/himesh-indias-srkjames-bondrajinikanth.html read ths
its hilarious
me: um i know bitch
i wrote it
bharath: wahhhhhhhhhhh
me: seriously
see a docter or something
r u drunk?
tell me
r u drinking on the job again?
bharath: kinda
me: oh god
bharath: i had snake whiskey yesterday
bharath: oh u have to see this.
me: wtf is snake whiskey?
boy do not send me the same link
i will beat u
bharath: i went to this club ok
me: let me guess, u stole their appointment book again to add to ure collection?
bharath: and they had snake whiskey on the menu
i thought some new brand and ordered it.
me: k
bharath: nodidre .. there is a dead snake in the bottle
me: and now u find that u have been sperminated by a snake?
bharath: check ur mail
me: that did not happen to u
u liar

Thats when i checked my email and saw photographic evidence. Then i went to throw up but since i dont throw up like ever that was kinda pointless, so i went back to watching 30 rock.




RBR said...

for photographic evidence of snake whiskey... contact me at raobharathrao@aol.com
shall send u the same.

Pri said...

contact rbr also for bright orange traffic cones, snakes in bottles and hospital stretchers.

fool y rnt u in jail yet?

Irbaz said...

@ rbr: its called the boot of the car, and not the dicky

@ pri: send me the snake pikchar

@ rbr: no, not the pikchar u took of a certain part of my body when u drugged me to slumber..

Anonymous said...

...its sad, houston is not a big-building big-city, it has no niceties of a small town and no big city fascinations...it's just a huge huge place with nothing to do....but, atleast the internet is set up in minutes...

Pri said...

I know! And its super hot! but its got to be better than Colorado! i refuse to look at anymore farm animals on my way to work. Not cool!
Also i hear there's good Indian food in Houston. Plus lots more family around so mother will be thrilled.

Janefield said...

wot a convo. total riot only!

Karan said...

Hokay, i want ze picture. Also, i want ze name of ze pub.

Preeth said...

...and I thought the disjointed conversations over chat window crowd is a dying breed. Btw,your blog is a real fun read.

Pri said...

namskara ree,
i see u r also from benglur sides. varry good.

and if u mean like chatroom type conversations yeah id think those are kinda extinct. this was just a gtalk conv with my friend/illegal internet downloading genius.

Anonymous said...

guess what??
the heat's not too bad, coz its been raining moodily like bangalore, two days of sun and two days of rain! there's lots of traffic though - so a good bangalorey feel to drive around!! :)
and yes, your mom would definitely love it! it's almost like the indians are pouring around along with the rain!!! :)

I absolutely love your use of Kannada in English!
tumba superagide!!!

Pri said...

have u lived in Houston before? ive only visited so im not too familiar with the area but yeah im kinda looking forward to lots of desi people too. and hopefully a movie theatre closeby. for the past two and a half yrs ive had to drive an hour to go watch a hindi movie and they show like only selected movies so most of the one i think im going to like arent even shown. :(

shub said...

Haha! too bad girl, I read it already ;-) Again, you were at my blog whilst I was at yours. Freaky!
Yes, sms lingo in err..."yeng" people is umm...excusable I think. I cringe at my own posts made three years back. Last night I was half-tempted to go edit oldoldold posts and set 'em all blunders right! Oh well!

Pri said...

yes what's with the same exact timing?

and it is very tempting to go back and correct a lot of the old stuff. u say three years? ive had this blog for only some 8 months and its still very difficult for me not to go back and delete a bunch of posts that honestly deserve to stay like in the draft section of my gmail account. everytime i reread my old stuff i cant belive how lame i sound. but i figure ill probably always feel like this and if i delete stuff everytime my writing makes me cringe i wont have anything fun to look back at when im like 50 and ancient.

shub said...

Exactly. And please don't go deleting stuff. We LOU digging through old archives whilst jobless, pliss to allow us that much!

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

pliss tell tinchur shetty to kontakt me.

The Black King said...

Oh.. and I thought that "Cobra" was just a brand of beer in the UK! :)

Indianoguy said...

Pri, did you really have this convo ? If you made this up...then you are genius..If not.. well..still you are genius..I LedOL

Anonymous said...

Reading time can be better utilized as sleeping time.

Father T has spoken.



Dr. Satyavan Savithri said...

@ hairy

was that ur lame ass french accent?

rebel said...

Snake whiskey? OMG.. *gross*
Really, really gross!

Su said...

checked out google images after this one and was quite grossed out myself. also, this is not a proper blog post so please update will ya ?