Mother and i celebrated a late Mother's day today since last weekend didn't really work for either of us. Its always hard though finding her a present.
"Why did you spend so much money?" when i bought her this pretty chain last year or "You know i don't use much perfume" when i bought her 'Clinique Simply'. But a daughter's got to do what a daughter's got to do to keep her mother from smelling of Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds. Anyway this year i figured I'd take her to watch a movie. 'Georgia Rule' looked appropriate for a mother daughter date since the previews showed that it was about 3 generations of women. I figured nice family drama, enough scenes for mother to cry and happy ending so she'd be nice to me the rest of the weekend. Turns out the grandmother swore a lot, the daughter was a drunk and the grand daughter liked to give Mormon boys blow jobs in boats. Mother seemed uncomfortable and eventually fell asleep. I watched intently mostly because Lindsey Lohan's white wardrobe was to die for. Then we got ice cream and came home. Not too terrible eh? Except right after mother got all mad at me because i refused to go with her to this lunch thingy on Sunday.
"We'll just go for lunch and come back really soon."
I wasn't falling for that. You see mother likes to talk. A lot. And most times she has a captive audience. So Desi lunch parties are her favourite outings.
"Well I'm not going to your friend's house for dinner if you don't come to the lunch thing with me."
Mother's good with the blackmail. Only this time it didn't work and i called my friend and cancelled the dinner thing. And since when is Sunday social visiting day? What happened to just watching TV and sleeping?
"Oh and next week my friend has invited us to her son's graduation party. We must go. This is the same son you think is weird."
"Gay ma, not weird. And i don't think he's gay. I know he is. And its rude to say weird."
"Hmmm you know so much about all these things. Sometimes i think you are gay."
"Yes mother you've told me before. And i told all my friends. They think its hilarious."
"So you're not coming to the party then?"
"The gay one."
"Heeeeeeeeeeeee. The gay one? No mother i will not be accompanying you to that one. I won't know anyone there."
"Fine then. Don't come. Don't come with me anywhere....Put the food in the fridge." and she stomped off to her room.
End dramatic scene
Except it wasn't the end. A few minutes later I hear "Sunday 12:40 pm...Sunday 12:40 pm...Sunday 12:40 pm" over and over again.
"What are you doing with the answering machine ma?"
"This silly thing always says the wrong time. Come fix it."
"Huh? I don't know how. And its working just fine."
"Fine. Don't help. Ill do it all by myself." And so i helped her fix it. Then she wanted me to show her how i did it. I couldn't remember since i had just pressed random buttons until it said the correct time.
"I don't remember what i did ma."
"What I'll do next time then?"
I don't know. Try not to break it this time."
"Paah. I cant ask you anything also. Good night."
Now end scene.
I'm sure she'll try to convince me again to go with her tomorrow and I'll probably end up going. At least I'll have something to blog about. The last time i went to one of those parties this lady was wearing only the top of her salwar kameez. It didn't have slits on the sides so i guess she thought it would pass for some sort of modern dress but it looked horrendous and all the other aunties were totally giggling and gossipping about it.