Friday, April 13, 2007

Relating to bitchy television characters and feeling all important [not related in any which way]

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WTF? How am i supposed to exist sanely without gmail? Sanely is a word right?

Okay i have got to tell you about this new show on TV. Its called 'Notes from the Underbelly' and it's absofuckinglutely hilarious. I officially love it and u all must must watch it. I had watched the trailer a couple of times and so i knew it was going to be fantabulous. Also everything i saw reminded me of S [ who just had a baby] and so i called her right before 9 to tell her to watch it. So i call and I'm like "What are you doing?" and she says "Oh i was just holding A [which would be the baby] in my arms and watching her sleep."

Who says that???

And i say "Oh my god you're so motherly" in my mean condescending voice and then i feel bad for her [cause the poor thing has no life] and so i say "But that's not a bad thing." Ahem. I think i heard her sigh at the other end. S if you're reading this 'I love you and you're a great mum and your baby is beautiful. No seriously, she is gorgeous. Thank goodness because i have seen a lot of hideous looking babies. Of course it doesn't help when their mothers dress them in ugly outfits made of velvet and frilly lace [who invented lace anyway?] and safari suits [yes I've seen little boy babies in safari suits, heck I've seen little boy babies in my family dressed in safari suits ... with gold chains] decorated with surma and black dots supposedly to remove nazar from evil jealous auntyjees with even more hideous looking babies.

Okay back to the show. There's this girl on it who is the main character's drinking buddy and who looks like a cross between Karen [not u Sindhi boy, Karen Karen from Will and Grace] and that smart lady from Saturday Night Live who made that 'Mean Girls' movie [you know from when Lindsey Lohan used to be pretty and not alcoholic]. Doesn't my knowledge of completely useless but fun television and movie trivia blow your mind? No? Yeah i don't care. Anyway this girl on the show is so me. Okay i don't wear sassy glasses [atleast not outside the house] and i don't sleep with married men [yet]. You can close your mouth. I'm not planning to. [Unless i just happen to meet Vvs after his wife just tragically died cause technically he wont be married then, just freshly widowered].] Back to the lady from the show. She says "I don't do hugs". That is so my line. Ask anyone. And when her pregnant friend asks her to feel the baby kicking she says she'll pass. Again so my line. I refused to touch S the whole time she was pregnant. So my point is that I felt a connection with this television character... like i have many times before. We have history you and my TV. So I've come to the conclusion that I'm that friend - the drinking buddy, the 'pregnant women are so gross' girl, the one who might sleep with your husband after you die [if you're Mrs. Vvs Laxman] and the one you should keep your children far far away from.

In other unrelated news i met this lady the other day and her last name was ZING! yeah with the exclamation mark. She signs stuff life that too. And so me being me i had to ask why she had the exclamation mark and she said that she had changed her name a few years ago and decided to pick Zing! cause it sounded and looked fun. How cool is that? I wish i knew more people like that. Oh and i also saw some really cool advice at the back of my Starbucks cup [well it could be front or back i guess]. I was going to take a picture of it but i forgot and threw it away. Anyway it was by that guy who wrote 'The Alchemist' and it said something about choosing who you wanted to be in life and following your dream. It was totally inspirational and shit. I wish i could remember more. Maybe ill ask the semi cute guy at Starbucks tomorrow morning if he can find the same cup for me.

In more unrelated news i felt very important today. I had to make a stop at the Indian store to pick up some Karipatta and i hate going there on Thursdays cause every Desi who knows his fresh vegetables is there. So me being the brilliant me i call the store on my way there [cause i have them on speed know just in case i need to call and make enquiries about latest Hindi movie releases or God forbid my mother runs short of green chillies cause of course we cant use the ones at the supermarket cause they're jalapenos and were not Hispanic. So yeah i call and ask them to keep my karipatta aside so i can run in and pick it up without having to wait in line with the 400 other people and get home in time to watch funny new sitcom on TV. So i get there and of course there's this humongous line and every ones staring at the girl who didn't get in line. I felt very self conscious [partly because i was wearing bright purple. In my defense it was a gloomy day and i needed to spread some colour] and then Indian store man says "oh wait i got your CD." I had asked for it like some 4 months ago and was very excited to finally see it. It's 'Lage Raho Munnabhai' if u must know. i know you think the songs aren't great but seriously they are! All of them...super fun! And then he proceeds to tell me that my other Cd's are on their way and all the while i can feel more people glaring and so i thank him and run out to my car. So me getting preferential treatment at the store was my first 'feeling all important' story for the day. Story number two - A train stopped for me on my way home. K it was more like an engine with two boogies but whatever it stopped for me and then i crossed [very nervously] and then it started to move again. It was at one of those weird railway tracks with no gates or lights. It was a strange feeling though. Ive never had a train stop for me before. K I'm done for now. Good nite.


The Bride said...

Hahaha that was so funny!
Ok I had to say that though its not a particularly insightful comment.
But I'm so bored in office reading about infrastructure funding or some crap that the random mad bits of people's lives are my line to sanity.

Drama Queen said...

I have NEVER had a train stop for me. For that matter, I have also never been given preferrential treatment at a store!! Life can be so unfair!! :-(
Okay, and why don't you hug people?? I remember you hugging everyone in MCC... I think..!!
Oh and have you not heard of nice lace lingerie?? Umm.. :-) Lace can be nice you know if used appropriately! ! Hehehe...

the saint said...

when i read your blog - it feels like i am listening to you speak at high speed with your arms gesticulating wildly,

but you've heard that before!

Pri said...

@ the bride: Yayyy a new person. Welcome jee welcome. And im glad we could make u laugh. I would quit work if blogs were ever blocked [shudders at thought]. Honestly thats all i do at work - drink coffee and read blogs.

@ drama queen: um lace undies sound itchy. and i've always tried to run away from ppl at college when they tried to smother me. ask kb/soupie/sunnu.

Pri said...

@the saint: Heeeeeeee i dont actually use my hands a lot but definitely lots of eye movement [mostly when i roll my eyes at people] and generally lots of facial expression ... probably because of all the childhood bharatanatyam classes i was made to go to.

soms said...

macha that movie is maha awesum nooo

Pri said...

@soms: Are u talking about Mean Girls? Do u think we were like that in college cause i think so. *Insert evil laughter here*

Ashwin said...

Babies with buge black dots are disgustingly hideous!!!

And Safari suits? They make babies wear safari suits?!?!? I hope I never get to see that.