Friday, July 11, 2008

mother and black people

i'm just going to say it. mother is prejudiced towards black people. over the years she has come to believe that all the black people are after all the indian people's jewelery. she panics when we're out at night and she sees a black man in the distance. she starts running towards the car and will check the locks over and over again. this is not a laughing matter but her reaction cracks me up.

anyway brother has made a new friend and he's black. a fellow artist he met someplace. i've met the guy and yes he absolutely looks like he just escaped from prison but that doesn't necessarily make him a criminal. anyway he came over the other day and mother was introduced to him. she served him a snack and came right over to the living room where i was, to check with me if he made me nervous. i was like no ma, you're mad. go watch your lifetime movie but she was seriously panicking. the whole time he was here she kept checking to make sure all her precious dolls were still in the showcase. all i cared about was the tv and i was watching it so i wasn't worried.

anyway the guy came over again last night and stayed pretty late. around 11ish mother calls brother on his cell phone, asks him to come upstairs and proceeds to give him a lecture on this unacceptable situation. apparently she said something along the lines of "but you barely know him, aren't you bothered about our safety?" at this point brother, usually the polite respectful one, told her to lock her door if she was scared. bravo brother! so now there's this tension between the two and me being the delightful daughter and sister that i am have decided mother needs to get over this ridiculousness. y'all remember raven? i have decided to invite her over along with her mum, sister and baby for a meal. i've met her family. they're fun and seem like nice people so i went ahead and did a sort of pre invite, basically letting them know that i would be inviting them over shortly but now that i'm thinking about it i feel like i might have rushed into it a little. see raven is not the issue. it's her mum i'm worried about. she is known to show lots of boobage and you know how easily desi people are scandalized. they will cover their mouths in shock and shake their heads. i have been advised by bikerdude to wrap her in a shawl the minute she walks in the door and tell her it is some type of welcoming the guest tradition and i might seriously consider doing this.

the other thing is her mum is always talking about some hot man she just met. the other day she was telling me about these two indian guys she dated back in the day. i was like two indian guys? that's more than me! also with the baby being there mother might want to know where the baby daddy is and where her sister works. the answer to those two questions is 'somewhere around' and 'no where at the moment' respectively. you see what i'm saying? i don't want to invite this family over and just reinforce the stereotype mother is used to seeing on tv. ugh it's so complicated. i don't know what to do but mother has got to learn. i will figure this out and keep you guys posted.

p.s. if this goes well i'm going to invite gaybour over along with his "roommate" because that's another thing mother needs to get over. and brother too. like a lot of indian men he's homophobic and we need to cure that pronto. there's no knowing when gaysin will decide to out himself. look at me! tackling one social issue at a time. now hand me my nobel prize.

25 comments:

The Bride said...

Haha - ok I shouldn't laugh. You do deserve the Nobel for your valient efforts at social integration.

I'd suggest mentioning mother being ill or some such to raven so she can process that as the reason for permanently delayed invite. Then much later (when she will have forgotten that invite was supposed to be for whole family), invite just her over as a breaking in of the idea of black friends to your mom and take it from there.

PizzaDude said...

//look at me! tackling one social issue at a time
LOL!
Came here from Shub's blog incase you are wondering :)

DewdropDream said...

hehehehe!!! You definitely deserve a Nobel Peace Prize ya! Good luck, but something tells me one meeting shan't be enough. I suggest a rinse and repeat till mother and brother's brains have both been suitable washed :D

phatichar said...

hehehe..cool. Addin' you to my bloglist, if it's ok with u

??! said...

Tell Raven your mother's having Chronic Homesickness Breakdown, in which she turns into a 1890s-style woman. And then do what The Bride said.

Also, either way, you're done for.

ggop said...

What a situation! Tough so kudos for you to step up and be social reformer :-)

snippetsnscribbles said...

ah! suuupercool ideas Pri!

good luck and oh you do deserve the Nobel Prashasti!:)

TheGreatGujju said...

You are hysterical! You should invite a gaysi drag queen and then watch the fireworks. My aunt tried to convince me that gays didnt exist in bombay back when she was in med school.

Anki said...

i want my own gaysin

gradwolf said...

you can tell baby daddy is that brother's friend.

. said...

I strongly feel that Al Gore should get a Nobel Prize.

Idling in Top Gear said...

Here's a suggestion - have raven and co, black dude, gaybors and gaysin come over on the same night. May be the myriad of prejudices would cancel each other out like vectors acting on different axes. Who knows, may be brother's black friend might like someone from raven's party, and the gaysin might finally realize his orientation.

perplexed said...

hmm.. i guess you have enough suggestions here. so, all i can say is...
good luck!!

Anonymous said...

"like a lot of indian men he's homophobic and we need to cure that pronto."

Indian women aren't ummm lesbophobic? I mean I dunno. This never really came up in any conversation ever.

Seriously though, there was this friend of my brother's who is gay, and brother didn't tell anyone until after the guy left (he was visiting India). To be honest, it didn't really matter to me; of course, my mother thought it was some kind of state secret which shouldn't go out of the immediate family.

Shilpa said...

hey Pri, you have been tagged.
And this not the regular tag-tag. This is just the regular recognition tag.

kavitha said...

pliss to extend invite to ouR man. mother's, non-desi boyfriendu not liking (if/just in case)will also be taken care of. one stone 3 mangoes. whattay idea no? thankyou thankyou!

Priyanka D said...

Lol...
Good post. Hope you don't mind if I add you to my blogroll.

Bikerdude said...

Wah wah 3-3 juicy juicy posts and all. Wunnerful men.

Yes in one graceful motion, swathe shawl over boobage, wrap corner of shawl over head of person and stick duct tape on mouth with other hand. Next handcuff person to dining table to curb sudden urge to hip hop to ecclesiastical top 10 which will indubitably be playing on stereo. Ball curry and rice can be pureed and fed through straw inserted through hole in duct tape.

Anonymous said...

Miss USA fell again!!
oh i can't wait till next year to see if they can make it three in a row

TS said...

Gaysin + Gaybour = La la la la la

I love black people.

kamaladi pushpa chalapathi. said...

@ you know who im talking about
you are fake and you know it.

once again kamaladi pushpa chalapathi said...

@ biker dude.
besht suggestion. bhesh bhesh.

Ms Taggart said...

You seriously deserve the award girl! Promise to throw a huuuge booze party if you get one! :)

I would be more interested to know what happens when gaybour comes in.. It must be fun!

TheHermit said...

I agree Indians have many prejudices they need to get over pronto. And what happened to the gay cousin who doesn't know he is gay yet?

raj said...

So many prejudices to live with.
http://www.decisioncare.org