Saturday, January 05, 2008

where i resort to live blogging or whateveritis since my dad isn't here to eat boiled kadalekai and curse with me.

declare already bitch!!

forty minutes later: right so 400 isn't enough. but apparently 401 is. 2 overs before lunch you give us? well you're just a pain in the ass aren't you?

oh look we're still going to open with boring and boringer. fabulous!

ha! boring thinks this is a good time to run three. we never run three but now just for the fun of it LET'S so boring-er who has scored all of 0.005 runs this series can face brett lee.

and lookey the fool has knicked it. i'm not too worried though. there was no way he was going to take us to victory anyway. also this way we know for sure he wont be playing the next match. 4 innings is what it takes to drop a fool. not 2 but 4. just like 400 and 401. big difference! will someone please send aakash chopra on the next flight to perth?

and vvs has survived.

and lunch.

during the last world cup finals [not 2007, that one we have chosen to forget for health and world peace reasons] when india needed to chase 360 for victory anil kumble supposedly said something of this nature to his team mates - if we can score just one boundary an over, the asking rate will then drop to a very gettable 3 point something. if the man is half as optimistic today, as captain, he will decide to go for victory. plus there have been umpteen number of times when we have tried to save a match and lost anyway. i say go for it.

they're doing the oye oye cheer again which i quite like. hopefully it will catch on everywhere. it sure beats "jeetaga bhai jeetega"

yes yes appeal away. we all know bucknor has no problem giving an lbw decision especially against india. i'm allowed to be bitter here. my favourite batsman just got out, which brings sachin in. why all the cheer only for sachin? dravid, sachin, vvs and dada are pretty much all the same age. kumble's even older. if this is sachin's last match at the scg, chances are it's their last match too. i don't get what all the fuss is about.

and symonds who's standing at first slip [not his usual position] has dropped boring. we're surprised the umpire didnt give it out anyway. yep, still bitter.

and by now it's quite evident we're not going for a win. what a shocker! if you're watching this in india you'll probably hear lots of 'well left' s from gavaskar which in turn will make bhogle giggle. oh how i miss you espn star sports. you made everything better. sniff.

aah bowled! my most favourite way to watch someone get out. NOT!

start praying nation!!

we've survived till tea.

more praying please!

and just as everyone has settled down and started to actually enjoy the cricket fucknor decides just for fun to raise his finger. boring has to walk off. we're not sure if fucknor gave that out lbw or caught behind. i don't think we'll ever know. and then even before boring gets a chance to settle down in his seat and have a good cry or laugh [he was last seen shaking his head and laughing like a mad man. can you blame him?] yuvraj joins him.

the commentator makes a good observation. he notices symonds patting fucknor's back at the end of the over and remarks "well i'm not surprised there. those two have had a good combination going this game". let's see, when he's batting we don't give it out. not at appeal one which was out. or two which was also out. or three which was oh yeah also out. when he bowls however we will give every appeal however random out.

deep breath.

and now they've given dada out. dada doesn't plan on going anywhere. the square leg umpire looks at ponting who raises his finger and apparently if ponting says it's out it simply must be out! hmmm very interesting since earlier today ponting appealed for a ball that maybe touched dhoni's glove that he then went on catch only to bang in straight back on the ground before appealing. not that bucknor with his wonderful eyesight could have caught any of it. right so the same ponting now claims this delivery was caught cleanly as well. the second umpire raises his finger. dada doesn't look convinced. he hangs around for a couple more minutes before he finally walks. we're stunned. the phone rings. it's kb!

"pri! guess where im calling you from?"

"um bangalore? chickmanglur?"

"no no. airlines hotel. i've ordered idli, maddur vada, kaapi. and soupie's favourite old man waiter is here."

this was all i needed to hear to burst into tears.

"kb! match nodthidiya?"

"aa aa en aaythu?"

"thu aa bevarsi bucknor innu satthogilla kb"

"innu satthogilvaa??? oh god!"


now we wait....

and drinks. fifteen overs to go. please god.

dhoni doesnt offer the shot. symonds is the bowler. bucknor raises his finger.

ten more to go. please god!

3 more overs. maybe 4. this is nerve wracking. we have faith though. our captain is truly playing a captain's innings. just a little more to go. fight kumble fight.

now?????? now?? bhajji is out! omg! closes eyes.
and r.p.singh is out first ball!

sharma's in next. the boy can barely stand straight. please god please!!!!!!!

this blog will be taking a break for a while.

thank you for playing.


35 comments:

shub said...

stop.calling.him.boring.
Hmph!

shub said...

aaaargh! one more!

shub said...

am following on cricinfo. Too scared to even refresh page. :-/

Anonymous said...

Fucking hypocritical bastards! Look at them celebrating. Why the hell is luck always loaded in their favour????

shub said...

waaaaaaah :( so bloody near! :((

Anonymous said...

oh fuck

Nikhil. said...

che..........aa bevarsi bucknor inna satilla...!!!!

Priyanka said...

Totally unrelated: Love that the comments thingy reads as entha hotness!! Niiiiiiiiiiice!!!!

Anonymous said...

@priyanka
cant you sense the mood here

??! said...

priyanka:
do the words "hysteria-induced lynching by mob looking to lash out at any target" ring any bells? Not the place for tangents, darling. Or the time.

Take a seat, bring out the kerchief, and sit quietly till the mourning is completed. Which..hmmm...should be 2019.

almostinfamous said...

This was one of the most disastrous test matches i have ever seen. and i've wasted many 5-day periods on day-long ball-by-ball watching.

someone must have added some methanol to whatever those umps were drinking. and took them to a metal concert and sat them down in front of the speakers. probably screwed up their sense of smell too.

so disgusted by it all.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

oh noes.
slinks away quietly.

I love Lucy said...

"thu aa bevarsi bucknor innu satthogilla kb"

LOL!!

Joke of match adhu....joker of an umpire idhu.

Silvara said...

eeek...ya disastrous match but even more biased from here. Btw - The chant they sing is "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi Oi Oi!!". I think it's practically our national anthem now :P

Janefield said...

first this and then bhajjis being banned. guess poor disco's days are numbered again. i will come by and feed him lest he turns blue/green and dies again until this blog is back up and running.

TS said...

We've called off the tour until Bhajji's ban is lifted.

Yay for BCCI finally growing a ball or two.

Sam said...

i'm all for hanging benson, bucknor, ponting (useless sportsman, should learn a few things from steve waugh!!), symonds (terrible cry baby!!)... ru with me?? find a me hitman please!!

frissko said...

isn't it time that 'very very sexy disco' is reborn as 'extremely distressed disco'?...

I said...

so now girls watch cricket? okay.

Janefield said...

oh no!!! disco became green!!! i think i overfed him.

Janefield said...

i've been feeding him!!! stop his fast dharna i say!!! i don't want disco to die. besides, the tour if off, so disco, pliss to chill, thanks.

Ash said...

paapa disco!
pri,it ate up all the food i put into tank like bakasura!

Ash said...

btw i was jeshtu wonderings if we can use "symonds tHara aaDbeDa" instead of "koti tHara aaDbeDa"


PS - oodi idinna - http://www.rediff.com/cricket/2008/jan/08symonds.htm

Janefield said...

FUCKNOR HAS BEEN REMOVED

start blogging already!!!!

Janefield said...

wake up and blog fool :P

i'm just checking on poor disco. poor dear darling :(

gooddaysunshine said...

Just stumbled on your blog...very funny and entertaining to say the least...

And Bhajji's back even if temporarily and that Bucknor Shucknor's not officiating the next match...so pliss to come out of the break??

Janefield said...

y dont u just change name to DYING DISCO?

khal said...

Umm.. you're not going to hurt any of the cricketers, are you?

Renovatio said...

In a matter of hours, the tenth episode, also the last episode until the WGA strike falls through is going up. You are to tell me how that episode is. Disappointing second season so far, but we have hope. We have faith in Tina Fey.

Keshi said...

so much anger among Indians over a game of cricket? I just dun get that. K aussies cheated..let them be punished for that by the ICC...but why is there so much racial slur and hatres spreading ard? Its not like that all Indian players were very moral in the past!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

btw Pri u dun visit me anymore?

Keshi.

Renovatio said...

I fed Disco. Muahahhaha.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

where ya gone pri? where ya gone?

khal said...

You seriously cannot have THAT much laundry to do!

Where you to be disappearing? Please to be coming back. :(

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

i threw mud in disco's tank.
i also threw chocolate chips.

he lapped it all up. howrat.