Sunday, November 11, 2007

a blue film

my what pretty cursive writing! and look everything's blue and green and sparkly. awwww what a cute old lady. ha this boy is so weird looking but he's kinda growing on me. its not like he has much competition. so far he's the only speaking character in the movie. ooh look a hooker. ooh look more hookers. ooh look a hooker group dance. and they're all colour coordinated too. is that a blue pothole? oh i get it! the potholes are kinda like the palette in this giant painting of a movie. very cool slb. very cool.

damn that girl has long hair. who does she look like? juhi chawala with a sharper nose? at least she doesn't have an annoying voice. oh hello no! girl who taught you to laugh like that? that was a bit scary. wait why are you suddenly in love with your house tenant dude? he obviously hasn't showered in days and is that surma he's wearing? plus from the two lines he's spoken it sounds like he might be a terrorist. oh you don't know why you're in love. you just are. right. and you're going to wait for him? i see. on the bridge? every night. for an entire year. in the rain and in the snow. all dressed up. how sweet!!! what is it that you do again? oh you weave carpets! excellent.

ha that scene was so chand chupa. and your grandmother is blind like in black? wait was that naked ass i just saw? but but i thought that scene was going to be censored. hmmm. oh look he just said a line from one of his dad's films. awww. right. more blue. so very pretty. i'm sure there's a point to all of this. i'm really very sure. ha old lady is funny. did she just say bitch? oh what a beautiful song. ooh another one. and eight more. right. um why is the flasher in love with Rapunzel again? and why is the hooker in love with him? what city are we win? what century? awww everyone's matching the scenery again.

oh no terrorist man is back. you have to say goodbye to rapunzel. do it quick. yes she knows you can hop skip and jump. you showed her remember? okay last jig. let her go already! okay now rapunzel. run. come on. yes what do you think the intense music is for? run rapunzel/paro run. run with your long skirt down the staircase. no! no don't cry. i said run. its whats his face. he came back to take you to neverland. bitch move! okay. thank you. yes yes her answer is yes fool! she's all dressed up and weeping in the middle of the damn bridge just like she said she would. of course she's coming with you. tight hug. cut to sad puppy dog face of flasher.

a film by sanjay leela bhansali.


Anonymous said...

hey pri, u must think of a career in advertising as copywriter


Neha said...

hahahahahahahaha! fan-bloody-tastic! but you forgot to mention random windmill in the middle of the city. it was the most complex character in the movie!

frissko said...

:))...havent seen 'Saawariya'...but the slb scene that takes the cake for me is the climax in 'Black'...Amithab in the hospital, chained to his cot, and the chain is Bluish-white in color!! to match the hospital wall, the mattress, the cot, his robe et al!!...(something very grave must've happened to slb after 'Khamoshi')..

an aside, please feed your Discos, they seem to have very short lifespans..

Ms.Hegde said...

Never intended to watch the movie...but anyways your REVIEW said it all...

Indianoguy said...

Pri, this is the bestest Saawariya review. I am going to watch it just to LOL at the insanity.

BTW, I met the real Disco Shanti in real life. Are you a fan or what? I can get you autograph if you want!

Silvara said...

Hhahahah - ok that was brilliant :D May still see it to see the naked ass :P

I love Lucy said...

That cool huh the movie is?
And now they are showing naked bottoms on screen???!!

La vida Loca said...

And soo the story goes..
I have to see the naked ass heh

TS said...

Ha ha ha ha... bwilliant.

Its people like you who keep me away from the junk.


La la la la la la...

(To be honest, I thought the movie would be good)

Pri said...

@pooja: wah! really? seriously? are you on crack?

@neha: it was? i thought that honour went to the UMBRELLA ella ella ey ey ey under my umberella ella ella....

@frissko: hey i take excellent care of my discos mr! they just cant make it more than 3 days. they're weak the poor things. colourful but weak. its very sad.

@ms.hegde: but you must! it will change your life.

@Indianoguy: um NO! but do tell me more about this "meeting" with the real disco shanti.

@Silvara: yes. you must. it will change your life.

@I love Lucy: apparently the male posterior is the new wet saree.

@La vida Loca: go right ahead. but again i must warn u it will change your life.

@TS: you're welcome. you may now dedicate an entire post to me. thank you.

Anonymous said...

priya, this is pooja from bbm , mounts man, and i am in ad agency, thts y i am telling u this, try a job in an ad agency, and work in agency is so much fun, u ll love it, u ll work on diff brands and products and rock the place i am sure, y dont u approach some agency there? r there any in HOuston?

Psyche said...

hahahaha... totally cool review.

Not getting anywhere near the movie. Errr..unless they decide to show it on TV two years from now :)