Monday, August 20, 2007

and im back...

its 4 am so bear with the incomplete sentences and lack of punctuation

I'm in houston
the drive here was fine
long but fine

the kind lady who drove the truck that one of the cars was attached to who i was supposed to be following was slow as fuck
she wouldn't go over 60
also she didn't believe it taking bathroom breaks
i on the other hand couldn't help taking every exit that had a starbucks sign and therefore every exit that had a rest area because random fact of the day - the human body produces 30 ml of pee every 30 minutes, you do the math.

i got lost only once [took a wrong exit. mother was on the phone with me overexplaining where i should and should not turn and i turned where i should not have turned]
i stopped at a gas station and was greeted by very smiley desi aunty who looked delighted to see me for some reason. i asked if she knew how i could get back on to 35 West and she said "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. no"
i thanked her and walked out. i stopped a cyclist [he didn't look in much of a hurry] and he gave me detailed directions. he was sweating profusely and made me very thirsty.
i got some water and tried to get back on the highway.
i was successful after taking a couple more wrong turns.

i don't have the internet yet.
I'm in my aunt's house. they have internet. and cable,
my apartment has boxes.

a bunch of people came to help with the unloading of boxes.
mother had marked each one so as the man brought it up to the door [mother didn't allow him to go any further because his shoes looked dirty] and attempted to read out the contents people standing around [gay cousin who doesn't know he's gay yet, aunty and u haul driver lady] would make appropriate noises. "Pri - Shoes - gasp! Oh my god. Here hold this side, wait no you hold the back"; "Pri-shoes 2 - louder gasp" etc..

i ate some real food after 2 whole days of coffee and chicken nuggets.
my aunt's biryani is a lot like mother's biryani, which is a good thing.

i showered and went to sleep around midnite.
i awoke 20 hours later
which is why I'm awake at 4 am.

i tried to order a pizza. turns out that isn't as easy as it sounds. apparently you need to have a local home phone number and they check your credit history - of ordering pizzas.
eventually i had to walk over to my aunt's house which in some ways I'm happy is so close to our apartment but at other times not and ordered the pizza.

i tried to steal the neighbours' internet, they were all locked, the mean bastards!

my aunt's house is decent except for the fact that its infested with dolls.
the showcase [which is such a desi word] is very desi looking; meaning it has been stuffed with all kinds of objects the owners think are worthy of showing. example: framed picture of gay cousin who doesn't know he's gay yet at his graduation, a teddy bear wearing a red bow, another one with a star, a humongous vase [it might be the same one Jesus used to turn water into wine. i'm not sure] coffee mugs and apparently every doll my aunt has ever come accross in her entire life.

i got to check out gay cousin who doesn't know he's gay yet's car. [you know now that I'm going to be seeing a lot of him I'm going to have to give him a shorter name. how about gaysin?] k so gaysin's car is shiny on the outside and totally gay on the inside. the lights are purple. like bright purple. and he listens to the jazz station.

our apartment is nice.
i got the smaller room which does not come with the ginormous walk in closet but mother's going to use it like a store room anyway.
mine has a mini walk in closet.
aunty complained about how their house didn't come with large closets. i tried not to laugh but its hard when gaysin is in the same room.

other cousin was complaining about how the television here sucks. i proceeded to explain to him the decent channels and the must watch shows. other cousin has only been here a few months. he wanted to know what the good movie channels were. i told him about the indepenedant film channel which he proceeded to search for and of course the minute it came on there were naked people on screen. luckily aunty wasn't in the room.

gaysin has a large name plate on the door to his room. like he's twelve or something. also his door is shut 24/7.

supposedly the "indian area" is pretty close by. i want to go see. mother's eyes lit up when she heard 'saree shops'.

also there's a starbucks right across the road from us. what more does one need?

21 comments:

Rebellion said...

OMG! What a random post that was. Loved it. You just kept jumping from one thing to another & back too. lol :)

Watchman said...

Posted by Pri at 4:49 AM

It took 49 min to type that?

Su said...

the gay cousin who does not know he's gay yet part is super funny. Please keep referring to that ' as is' henceforth :)

Also, am curious. Is mom an American citizen and living continually in the US with you ? Or, just to keep you company for like 6 months ?

Anonymous said...

"he was sweating profusely and made me very thirsty" - such detail - a feature of your blog, i like the most.

Irbaz said...

this is my gipt for ur house warming..

in order to access ur neighbours internet try this, it works sometimes. i did it most of the time in londonistan.

username: admin
password: admin

honestly, it works (sometimes)

I love Lucy said...

Welcome to my neck of the woods(well,almost),lassie!

Richa said...

Welcome back. Houston,hmmm? I was there last summer.

From mountains to plains, it will be an interesting transition for you. Enjoy the traffic and straight never-ending roads..

Ambooj Tiwari said...

so does that mean u got shuffled from one indian neighbourhood to another in spite of that generous road trip of a move-in...congrats, though...loved the post...i guess sleep brings out the best in one...thanks for the "Hazaaron Khwahishein Aisi" post....loved it...which kinda reminds me, did u ever manage to finsh that movie?

The Bride said...

Awww you're back! Can we see pics of your room when everything's moved in? Ok so voyeuristic - ignore that.

Indianoguy said...

I agree with Su about "the gay cousin who does not know he is gay". Thats really phunny!
I Suggest TGCWDNKHIG (like TMBWITW), I am going to add that to urban dictionary.
Your gaydar seems to be strong..How did you decide that he is gay?

Pri said...

@indianoguy: how do i know????
the boy is sitting on the couch as we speak with bright green FACE PACK on!!

RBR said...

i agree with irbu... the admin thing works..

u haul .. i haul.. we all haul said...

umm.. err.. this is the u-haul woman..
i found this packet of hair in the truck with the label "koodal karan" do u want it back.. or can i make a rug out of it???
Christina Balmers
U-haul woman.
888-265-8008

TS said...

"aunty complained about how their house didn't come with large closets. i tried not to laugh but its hard when gaysin is in the same room."

Brilliant.

But I don't like the name gaysin.

shub said...

hehe! We demand full post on gay cousin who doesn't know he's gay yet. Totally cool name!

scout said...

my apartment in barca was tiny. my room was actually meant to be a study. the heating was god-awful and the balcony was 5 feet long and one foot wide. but everything. and i do mean everything was forgiven once i perched on said balcony, looked across the street and saw a starbucks.

people just underestimate the value of overpriced coffee houses, man.

once again said...

so its the same night then

the night u stayed up, hearing people pee

and

fart

no?

KayB said...

you have internet and starbucks... oki ur well settled then!!! i like gaysin! i mean i like the shorter name.

Pri said...

@ all who voted in favour of 'gay cousin who doesn't know he's gay yet'
by popular demand it has been decided that i stick to the longer version. also 'gaysin' might be misinterpreted if read as two separate words which would not be cool.

@at su: she is a citizen. except its more like i live with her.

@irbaz: it didn't work. :(

@ambooj: nope. i promise i will watch it from beginning to end real soon.

@the bride: sure. i just arranged all my shoes today and took pictures :)

@scout: there's just something calming about walking into a starbucks whichever part of the world you're in and knowing you'll get your coffee just the way you like it.

@once again: yep. same to same

@kb: not yet. the directv ch***h never showed up yesterday! i have to wait till saturday.sob

Anonymous said...

@me? no thanksu?

Krish Ashok said...

Oh. Sattled down in Ooshton aa? Don't eat at the Madras Pavilion. The vada there is not made from earthly ingredients.
Gaysin had me ROFL :)