I get to go to my first American wedding tomorrow. My cousin’s wedding didn’t count because it was a circus, a very tish circus but a circus nonetheless. I think mother is more excited than I am about going. Back home she was used to attending a minimum of one wedding and one funeral per week and to her disappointment she hasn’t been invited to a single wedding since she’s been here and no one fun has died in the recent past. She is very concerned that I haven’t picked out a gift or an outfit to wear yet. I figure ill be overdressed whatever Indian outfit I pick so ill just iron [if I have the time] the least dressy one and I should be set.
Anyway that is the least of my problems. You see I’ve never bought someone a wedding present before. It’s a very grown up thing to do no? Ooh I forgot to mention its dull girl C’s wedding …yes this is the same wedding she’s been planning for the last two years, the same wedding I was forced into helping plan…right from the bridesmaids' gowns to the food to the location to her hideous dress to the song she was going to sing … that idea has since been scrapped. Instead of singing at her own wedding [who does that???] she is going to record her own rendition of some lame romantic songs on a CD and have it play as background music. Heeeeeee so back to the wedding present – I hear she’s registered at a bunch of boring places. Crate & Barrel and some other exciting domestic item store which I know if I walk into I will be lost and besides I just can’t see myself buying someone silverware or even worse a blender. So this is my big plan. I’m going to stop by at Dillard’s tonight and see if they still have those gorgeous 450 thread count Ralf Lauren sheets. Who wouldn’t like fresh linen right? Maybe they can manaao their suhaag raat on it …or not.
So as you’ve figured out by now mother is my date to the event. Don’t laugh! Brittany wanted me to take her as my special guest instead and surprise C who happens to detest Britt and has therefore not invited her. It would have been pretty fun actually but I’m not that cruel and like I said mother is very excited. Alright I have to go practice my ‘OMG I’m so happy for you and what’s his face and I wish the two of you the most wonderful wedded bliss ever’ face.