Saturday, June 30, 2007

A wonderful movie called 'Evening' - and the mountain i made of it.

I just got back from watching 'Evening'. I knew this movie would be lovely. I just didn't realise it was going to be this lovely. I left the hall feeling moved and even somewhat wiser. Is it possible to mature a little during the course of a two hour movie? In case you were wondering the movie is about life and decisions and knowing what you want and not knowing and never being sure and about regrets and bad decisions and the future and the past and love and friendship and infatuation and desperation and happiness and sadness. But mostly its about moments. Special random strange moments that make a person's life what it is.

I found myself feeling for these people, for their lives and this is very odd but i always feel this way when i watch a really good movie or TV show. I relate to various people and i feel their pain. Sometimes i envy them. I used the word odd because in real life i could care less. I'm one of the most cold hearted people I've known. I'm fabulous at being cold and emotionless. I watch other people make their mistakes and i roll my eyes. I'm too smart to make those same mistakes i think. But then one part of me realises I'm just too cowardly to let things happen to me. I play it safe. My safe is a lot different from other people's safe but its still safe. I want all of these things but I'm too busy being me and in the process i think i might miss out on a lot of these things and these moments. I don't want a life of regrets like all the people i see around me but i don't want to regret not even trying. I surprise myself with my strength sometimes and at other times i feel like this isn't strength. Its just me being me and conveniently pushing things to the back of my head where i don't have to think about them anymore. I want to be hopeful but i don't want to be unrealistic. I don't want to be cynical but i cant help being that way. Sometimes i feel like I'm thinking about things way too early. I should be happy and giggly and willing to take risks now and i should leave the contemplation and regret for later...like when I'm forty or something. I don't know what i want. I know some of the things i don't want and you'd think that would make it easier. But sometimes i start questioning why i don't want certain things and then i start to rethink it and it only gets messier.

You think i might need to visit the loony bin sometime soon? I mean i watch a bloody movie and now I'm a professor of philosophy apparently.

19 comments:

soupei said...

I do that that's one of the most beautiful posts you've written about yourself.
Ahhh Pri's growing up.
Hug

the shiva said...

hey u still in D?

Krish Ashok said...

The unwise Zen master Jarusa Jirupa speaketh thus:

Aah, the disciple has visions of enlightenment after watching moving pictures of one kind. Zen master Jarusa Jirupa has had those visions after watching every kind of meaningful moving picture. He waxes eloquently about philosophy after every movie and then melts innocuously into his old immature self soon after. He watches this blog author with a sense of deja vu (many times over) :)

The Bride said...

Ah... you're like me. I do that do - but I think the most cynical people are probably the most sensitive because we need our cynicism as a defence

TS said...

I luurve it when a movie turns out better than expected.

Must watch it.

greensatya said...

Okay, I dropped in here from TGFI's blog. Thought it would be rude not to say 'Hi' that too after reading so many interesting posts.

Keep the interesting posts coming !

Irbaz said...

Yaaaawwwwn..

i still like gabbys post better!

rbr said...

ET TU IRBU????
i thought u and cousin it were boycotting....u like that word dont u.... priyas blog!

rbr said...

by the way.. i liked gabby's post too

Karan said...

Yeah, I prefered her post too.

Why doesn't Gabby have a blog?

Pri said...

ooh look who came back.

Pri said...

@ soupie: growing up? really?

@ the shiva: yep still here

@ krish ashok: the author of this blog bows to the Zen master Jarusa Jirupa.

@ the bride: yes you're like my twin or something.

@ts: yeah especially cause most times its the other way around

@ green satya: thanks for stopping by :)

@rbr: irbitch and hairsome cant stay away forever.

Irbaz said...

Umm.. Yes we can!! I Just came in bcoz Gabby was the guest writer.

Wats her blog?

Karan said...

Yeah, Gabby give us the link to your blog.

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

who are you and what did you to our pri, of the light posts, rants, gossip and bitchy talks fame?

jokes apart, that was a nice post. i will see the movie soon.

Karan said...

Bwahahahahahaha!!

Light posts fame?

Karan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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