Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Letter of termination

bharath: Oho
priya: stop it
bharath: stop what?
priya: Don't say Oho. That's my line
bharath: too many restrictions
priya: so? what your problem IS?
OK i just read something funny. u want to see?
bharath: yes
priya: link
bharath: k it wasn't funny
priya: u read off so fast? don't lie, it was long
bharath: its not as good as yours
priya: oh please! its adorable
the whole walk thing and the man who gave him 2 rupees.
cho chweet.
i imagined the kind man was a Nepali gurkha who said shalaam shaab kinda like our Bahadur.
bharath: OK, if u say so
priya: paah
bharath: So if i quit will u give me a good reference?
priya: You're not quitting! Why would u quit?
bharath: I'm not..
priya: k
bharath: but if i do, will u?
priya: don't scare me like that
and let me remind u that u are under contract. i will sue your ass
bharath: You're weirdly funny
priya: i will sue u and take over Airlines
I'm weirdly funny? andre?
bharath: umm its not in my name
priya: i don't care. i want Airlines
bharath: You're funny and ange sidenally weird
priya: heeeeeeeeeeeeee
thanks ree
i don't know why sudsuddenly from like the past two days full affection bandbidthu
bharath: yes.. in a platonic way
priya: heeeeeeeee
bharath: u didn't add that
priya: u know now, so laddat
u know me
bharath: heeeeee
priya: u know how i speak and what i mean
u copy me all the time
bharath: is it the calm before the storm?
priya: u copied laddat
u copied oho
u copied heeeeeeeee
bharath: sudsuddenly is mine
priya: and I'm flattered
i know
i get to copy u too
I'm taking back the best Internet friend post from karen
I'm giving it back to u
bharath: its a give and take fully platonic Internet friendship
priya: if you'll take it back
bharath: awww yes
priya: yay ill inform karen right away
bharath: lets point at him and laugh
priya: or do u want to? [she said evilly]
how does one spell evil ly?
bharath: damn I've never had to spell that one before
priya: its hard to spell no? and no its not the calm before the storm
There wont be any storm but if u keep whoring yourself out to my friends for no reason at all then i cant promise anything...
bharath: Ok, u should write an email like u did earlier to kb, soupie, karen and me
priya: OMG i should. i will
wait wait
bharath: OK

The mail read:

To Karen,
With deep regret i inform you that you have been fired from the post of my 'best Internet friend'. The original recipient of that title has been given back his title. This is due to his hard work, prompt deliverance of illegally downloaded music, constant comment leaving and his loffing at all my jokes. Karen you will still be my best office email buddy but that's it. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. There are things you can do to try and win back your post but let me warn you it is going to be very difficult due to the stiff competition you face from RBR P's BIF. Do not cry my dear Karen for u are loved...umm in like the Asrani household...also by Pari who makes your filter coffee.

priya: rbr pliss to be seeing
bharath: gmail?
priya: the Sindhi boy is going to weep
yes gmail
u like?
bharath: tat was evilly pri
priya: heeeeeeeeee
bharath: privilly
priya: we both learned how to spell a new word today
bharath: yes
priya: and u also just coined a new one
bharath: hehe...:)
priya: raobharathrao you're truly worthy of being Pri's Best Internet Friend
Here are your duties and responsibilities
bharath: yes
priya: finding various 'difficult to find' songs and emailing them to me so as to reduce my search and download time [which u already do so diligently] good boy!
chatting with pri whenever pri feels like chatting
leaving promptly and without any questions when pri is bored with you
bharath: OK so what do i do with the songs i have for kb?
priya: counselling and advising pri when pri is in need of counselling and advising [all this must take place without any judging]
bharath: were u like a bitch in school?
priya: kb? don't mention other potential employers
me no like
bharath: have u seen Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls?
priya: and no i wasn't as bitchy as i would've liked to be in school
i hadn't discovered my true bitching potential yet
in college however i was the sort of bitch you'd have been proud of
bharath: if u were u would have been a terrific bitch
priya: yes yes
bharath: I'm saying this in the best way possible
priya: we were totally like that in college i swear
and I'm saying this is the best possible way "say more things like that and I'll put u on my freakin will!"
bharath: awww that's nice..
what worldly possessions do u have...other than jimmy choos?
priya: um i own some diamonds, they're not very big but they're sparkly
bharath: heee
priya: also lots of bags and shoes
i mean lots
lots of clothes
bharath: i said other than the bags and shoes
priya: um perfume?
bharath: i like cologne
priya: shampoo
lots of shampoo
bharath: men's cologne?
priya: soaps
way too many
i need to throw some out
bharath: OK i read that u use 4 types
priya: why would i have men's cologne u idiot? i also own a laptop
u could sell it and eat in Airlines for like a whole week or something
bharath: but i don't want u to die and all
priya: if u only ate breakfast and tea time snacks, for example: maddur vada, jelebi etc
You'd have to skip all other meals
Oooh I also own lots of fun stationary
bharath: umm i get free food in Airlines
priya: ooh and a car
its kinda old though
bharath: which one?
priya: and it might break down in the middle of a road/water body
its a Hyundai accent 2 door
believe me its not cool at all
when i say 2 door people are like oh wow NICE but really it just takes more work to get in the back seat. ashte
same to same as a 4 door
and the 'check engine' light is on all the time. i wonder what it means...
bharath: heeeeeee
priya: and the windshield is cracked
bharath: is there a bullet hole as well? why cant MTV pimp your ride?
i would do anything to have them pimp my ride
How does one qualify to be pimped?
bharath: is it because you're Desi?
priya: heeeeeeeeee i don't know
maybe i should apply
bharath: u should
priya: and then if i don't hear back in like 24 hours i can call and be like y? is this because I'm Desi?
maybe mtvdesi can pimp my ride
oh wait MTV Desi stopped..randomly they stopped that channel
bharath: You think they'd put silk brocade on your seats coz your Indian?
priya: no silly
bharath: no...
priya: they'd use elephant and mango designs for the seat covers and tie dye seat belts
also there would be a place for incense sticks
bharath: they'd put a direct satellite on your roof.. so u can get Doordarshan on your 28 inch monitor
priya: heeeeeeeeeee not doordarshan
the yoga and meditation channel and they'd put a big OM in the front
also the names of every famous Desi person in Amreeka painted across the know Sanjaya, Appu, Naveen Andrews, that surma wearing dude from Heroes, Dr. Sanjay Gupta etc..

Anyway all is well in terms on my internet best friend. Now all i need is a gay best friend.


Anonymous said...

karan is applying for the gay best friend...

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

entha bakwaas

Pri said...

oho! u were totally entertained. dont lie.

Anonymous said...

holy conversation, batman!


bengluru girl, huh? i'm part that myself. bengluru that is. not girl.

thanks for the scout link! you mind if i add you to my side-link/blogroll thing? so much easier to keep track of people with!

Pri said...

Blogroll me? Like for free?
Wow! You must be new or something but yeah go right ahead.

Anonymous said...

er that doesn't sound quite um, quite.



Pri said...


Irbaz said...

yay.. im the newest contender..

i feel like a participant in "the apprentice" and pri being donald trump.. well.. without his trump..