Saturday, November 14, 2009

okay first off i'm devastated that the comment i thought was genuine and sweet was in fact just spam. sniff. my hort is broken. moving along to fashion at celebrity funerals. i don't get why no one covers them. it's the perfect place to check out fully covered celebrities, usually in pretty chikankari kurtas, without make up or pretending to be without makeup. so much fun! imagine waking up one morning only to realize someone famous has died. famous enough that all of bollywood will have to show up. of course you're going to care about how you look. it's tricky here though because you dont want it to seem like you made an effort. you don't want to be judged even though you'll be judging every one else. the safest bet is to put on your simplest whitest kurta and show up with no eye make up. it needs to look like you were up all night crying. i was looking at some pictures from a recent celebrity funeral because what else is there to do? and some of these people look incredibly happy to be at this thing which is quite sad. it must be hard for a celebrity to convince everyone they're genuinely distraught especially if the ceremony lasts a couple of hours. i imagine it must be hard not to be able to crack a smile, especially if you spot like hattrick roshan coming around the corner. of course you're going to be all hey look it's hattrick. he still got his early man face on. smile. oops camera caught that.

anyway here's my commentary from going through the entire freaking slide show. yes i need a hobby. the very first picture is of this lady in a really tight white shirt carrying an electric blue channel purse. it's electric blue. it's going to jump out at you. also she is wearing pants to are way too short but who cares? she's not really famous. i'm assuming she's married to someone who is. priyanka chopra is dressed appropriately attire wise but she went overboard with the jewelery. too many rings, giant watch, big ass hair clip. also she cheated and wore make up. aishwarya rai was smart enough to wear shapeless pants with her white kurta giving the impression too much time wasn't wasted planning her outfit. there's way too many people wearing chic looking churidaar pants with their not starchy enough kurtas. gayatri what's her face from the ponds ads and swades matched her bag and shoes. like exact matched. that's never good. although she might be wearing my favourite kurta. some unrecognizable aunty is in a transparent saree [with a semi transparent blouse] that's draped super inappropriately. in the background there's this startled looking driver guy staring at her. it's the funniest thing. you guys have to see. go to filmi cafe.

zayed khan's mum and sis are wearing black and white respectively. one with parallel pants and one with lace trim pajamas. heh. they're such an unfortunate looking family. i'm spotting way too many birkins at this thing! some lady is texting with two phones whilst carrying a ginormous louis vuitton bag. malaika arora khan has great skin. flawless. her husband has a mustache. such is the world. he is also texting. ooh tabu's not wearing white. how brave. it's beige. still appropriate. she is holding some weird looking man's hand. please let it not be her boyfriend. she is way too beautiful to be dating him. i love that she has a big giant hair band on her wrist. neetu singh and some lady are clearly gossiping. one is whispering in the others ear while clearly smirking. neetu singh didn't bother wearing her white kurta. she has on a white shirt and is also carrying a more understated channel purse by which i mean it's not bursting with colour.

awwwwwww it's juhi. she's still so pretty. she's holding rinki khanna's hand. juhi used to be my favourite actress growing up. anyone who was a madhuri fan i hated back then. i love madhuri now. ha ha there's groups of random people that have gathered in the street to spot celebrities. snakeskin purse! and what the what? it looks like priyanka chopra's kurta might not be white after all. it's a really light mauve. that is so not allowed. ha! sunny deol wore a shirt that is the exact same blue as his jeans. awww more kind juhi. she almost makes me want to be a good person. farah khan managed to find a white version of the hideous shapeless kurtas she's been wearing everywhere recently. this one has ugly pink flowers on it and she's wearing it with tent shaped black pants. ha ha there's an incredibly short man in formal clothing carrying a back pack and wearing floaters. he has a pen in his pocket i'm assuming for autographs that he can later sell. oh wait, here's the man that was with tabu. now he's holding an extremely overdressed kiron kher's hand. i'm guessing he's just the hand holder/escorter type person. good for him. ooh ghastly looking old lady wearing a diamond necklace with a super shiny dupatta! awwwww it's juhi again. she's so shiny and happy i want to hug her. oh wow. the end.

10 comments:

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

lol. i didn't want to be the one to burst your bubble and tell you about the spam ..but if the sadness and shock forced a post out of you, its all for a good cause.

some nerve you have to go about saying nobody blogs anymore.

Amit Sondhi said...

I've seen that comment elsewhere too. I wonder what kind of "spam" purpose it serves (like popularising a link or extracting email addresses)

The Bride said...

Who died?

Anonymous said...

link to the slide show pleej

frissko said...

reminded me of this funeral sequence from the movie 'Page 3'...

and you've written it like you were there...

Lively said...

Good one there! Page 3 stuff is always boring for me, so I usually skip it. But this will interest my cousin :P
BTW I love your posts and have given you a thank-you hug on my blog :)
Thanks for writing what you write.

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