places i go

guess where i was last night? at a political rally. i know!!! but this one was actually fun. and i got to see obama. he looked totally hot on the big screen tv but from where i was sitting some 10 feet away he looked like an ant. anyway i have decided that his smile reminds me of nelson mandela and just for that i think he deserves a hundred delegates.

here's what i really went to see at the rally: women fainting all over the place and celebrities.

i got nothing. there were a couple of television reporters i didnt recognise. they waved to the crowds and some guy behind me said "oh look it's that fool from channel 13 news" and that's how i knew.

i was most disappointed though about the lack of fainting women. every time obama said something i would scan the crowd but no fainting. just lots of dancing and "obama i love you's" and "yes we can's".

before obama came on we were forced to listen to this b grade band in their glittery sequined shirts. they were absolutely terrible and were quite rightly being ignored. then finally they lit up the entire stadium and played the will i am song on the big screen and the crowd rose to their feet and started singing. people were crying and waving their arms. total paisa vasool!! then everyone thought they saw obama so they started screaming but as the boy behind me pointed out it was just some white dude.

then obama finally appeared just as they announced that he had won the wisconsin primary. at that point it felt like an earthquake. twenty thousand people jumping up and down in the same room can do that. every word he said was greeted with applause and more screaming and "amen's" and "hell yeah's". i swear this black woman two rows down was in some sort of trance. she kept waving her arms and making moaning noises. she was my primary candidate for fainting but the bitch kept going. anyway the two and a half hour wait was totally worth it. he said his stuff and then they played 'i'm a survivor' by destiny's child and we were done.

oh and it only took me an hour to get out of the damn parking garage. but it was still totally worth it. i'm sure i stuck out like a sore thumb. people must have assumed i was hispanic or something and i was the only hispanic person i saw, so there.

overheard at the obama concert err rally:

woman with large ass trying not to step on people's toes while she attempted to walk out of the crowded aisle: pardon my backside to you sir. sir pardon my backside.

girl 1: you see that nigger over there in the green shirt with the cap?
girl 2: yeah.
girl 1: i was dating him last week. he stoopid.
girl 2: mm mmm mmmm he is fine!
girl 1: girl shut your mouth. did you not hear what i just said? he stoopid.

at the concession stand: will you hold my place while i go pee? i cannot have a full bladder when barrack starts speaking.

at concession stand: 4 dollars for water?? when obama is president he will bust your ass. YES WE CAN!