Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Yes. Do ask. I enjoy these wonderful enlightening moments we share.

Brittany: So Pri is 'Regards' like a common way for Indian people to end a conversation?

Pri: Sure. Every time I call my friends I'm like "Alright betch ill talk to u later... REGARDS" click

Later

B: So Pri… are there like gay people in India?

Receives strange look from Pri

B: Are there a lot? I mean do they like come out and stuff? Cause you guys are so traditional and stuff...

Later B hears me bitch about missing the Aerosmith concert.

B: Wait, Aerosmith performs in India??

I roll my eyes at her

So do they like sing in Indian?

Brittany and Gabby then attempt singing "I don't wanna miss a thing" in Indian accent

Later

B: Do they put curry in ice cream?

At this point I'm just head banging and not in a cool Aerosmith way, more like in a aiyoo raama type way.

B: No seriously Pri cause that one time S made me try some Indian ice cream and it had curry in it.

Pri: It did not

B: It did too

Research later reveals she was talking about some kesar pista ice cream from the Indian store.


Susan: Oh i wanted to tell you. We have these Indian neighbours. Very nice people. The kid's name is armpit.

Pri: It is not!

Susan: Oh do you know them?

Pri: No but no one names their son armpit.

Much research later i find out the kid is named 'Arpit'


Gabby: Oh Pri i had this India related question i had for you but i forget what it is.

Pri: Oh thank god!

Gabby: What is that you're wearing?

Pri: It's called a kurta

Gabby: A koota?

Pri: No and be careful how you say it. I explain to her the difference between kurta and kutta.

Gabby practices saying kurrrta for the next 10 minutes.


Linda: Ooh whats that? Did your mum send us some umpa lumpa again? [referring to my lunch box. Yes now that mother is talking to me again she went overboard and packed upma for me]


Random lady: So you're from India right?

I nod and mentally prepare myself to answer some elephant/snake charmer type question.

RL: So do they have currency in India?

Pri: [No betch we use mango leaves] Um yes

RL: Is it like regular paper money?

Pri: Yes except it isn't green.

RL: Ooh what is it called?

Pri: Rupees

RL: Rooh Pee?

Pri: Yes

RL: hmmm Wow! So how do you say your name? Prayah?

Pri: No. Priya

RL: Peeya?

Pri: No. Priya

RL: Oh so without the R?

Pri: No, with the R.

RL: So R is silent in your language?

Pri: No. It isnt. It's Prrreeya

RL: That's what i said in the beginning.

34 comments:

bikerdude said...

Heheheh too funny men.

After joining my nice and Indian company, I have given up all pretences of modernity and say things like : Kindly peruse the contents of this document and send me feedback on the same. Thanks and Best Regards.

PS: My favourite retort to "YOu speak such good English" is: "Thanks. So do you."

Coco Captive said...

OMG... ROFL... !!!
Must be really funny explaining to the dumb Americans, right?
Reminds me I should dig out that YouTube video where all Americans answer dumbly to very famous questions!!

The Bride said...

You did NOT have those conversations...

Shameful confession: I sign off with Best Regards. Because I cannot stand Many Thanks (image of thin oily person shaking head probably inspired by Mind Your Language) and even worse "Cheers" (geeky banker types trying to be cool).

Hmmm but maybe I should come up with something less colonial.

Pri said...

I did too! Brittany can vouch for it.

And eouu many thanks is worse, much worse.
how about just thank you?
the one thing i hate here though is the "thank you have a nice day"

The Bride said...

Yes, I have been leaning towards Thank You - but as my husband pointed out sometimes there's nothing to thank the person for and then it's obvious I don't really mean it and it's a sign off. Gahhh. Though does anyone really need their sign offs. Why do we need sign offs anyway... can't we dispense with them altogether?

Pri said...

ess ess. Wouldn't it be cool if we could all come to a mutual agreement to use something we really mean thats still nice and contemporary like "bye betch" ?

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon said...

thank you .. come again

Anonymous said...

karen does not use mango leaves for currency.. he uses his body hair..
bwahahahhaahaahahahahahah

The Bride said...

Hmmm maybe I will just sign off with BB and leave everyone wondering. Kind of like TC or all the other annoying acronymns that populate my life

Neha said...

man: how do they hv sex in india?
me: umm, the same as you do here...
man: no i mean with all the kamasutra
and everything (looks very hopeful)
me: i need another beer

... same shit, different country

Rebellion said...

:O:O:O
I don't know whether to go ROFLL to that or sympathize with you :P

How do you bear them yaar? Awesome patience you got. Me in your place, don't know what wud they do. For once I'm glad I live in India only :D

How about keeping a set of the worst questions about their stupid country, ready for them? ;)

Karan said...

@ anonymous:

How much hair do you want for that Rolex?

Just don't tell me what you do with it.

Indianoguy said...

Prayah, Really phunny! :D

Born a Libran said...

I liked the Aerosmith one :)

Irbaz said...

once when i was walking with my other desi friends on the streets of good old londonistan, a couple of workers looked at us and said, "GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME" in a heavy indian accent, heavier than maami's (accent that is).

i couldnt help but laugh, coz it was funny, espcially a brit tryin to talk in "indian"

Irbaz said...

also once in my earlier trips as a child when i met my aunts neigbours in NY they were all fascinated with me being indian. not that they hadnt seen any, but hadnt seen a FOB. so they asked me whether people still use horse carriages, camels, etc as transport. i said "yeh, and i also hav an elephant parked in my backyard".

bloody amreekans. know nothing.. yeh.. u shud go ahead and watch the video on youtube whr the dumb amreekans answer the ques

Pri said...

Wow this is turning into a hatefest!
They're not all stupid you know. And really Brittany isnt the perfect example...
And what is this youtube video you'll keep talking about?

LOL @ Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

The Famous B AKA Stupid American said...

OK..... as one of the dumb americans..... (clears throat) I ask these questions because I am curious. I have 2 very good friends (pri and S)from India and I am interested in their culture. Sometimes we talk about stupid things to be silly but sometimes I really am serious. Other times I just want to make it on the blog :) guess it worked.

Irbaz said...

@ b to the AS

Did it make u happy?

B said...

Did what make me happy?

Irbaz said...

making it to the blog? :o

Anonymous said...

fight.. fight.. fight.. fight..

B said...

It always does! Isnt it nighttime over there?

Anonymous said...

should u get a nobel prize for knowing the time difference?

Pri said...

Enough with the mean comments already!

Ambooj Tiwari said...

Oh c'mon, you forgot the best one

"I can't believe you guys can talk in english".
(damn bikerdude got here first!!!)

or maybe

"you have only been here for 2 years. Where did you learn all that english from"

And, dunno, if you get this a lot, but i have had quite a few

"My friend got married to this really nice indian gal. Say could you introduce me to one."

I am thinking of opening up a Goreseshaadi.net...what say, don't u think it would be a good idea???

Thanking you

Yours sincerely

Booze

Musings.. said...

Loved the post and the commets.. The worst I ever heard was... do you have electricity and do people travel in bullock carts!!

yellbarto said...

pri.. that anon wasnt me.. i am not racist!
and hairy.. i dont want ur hair... ill give u the watch...........

Ashwin said...

hahaha.... you have a lot of... er... FUN friends!

Pri said...

@ambooj tiwari: lol @ Goreseshaadi.
Go for it dude.

@musings: bullock carts!!! heeeee
You're new here no? hi!

@ahswin: yeah they're a leetle silly

Perceptive Girl said...

God!

Once this happened with me- we all were on a camp, and thr was this girl from america(north.carolina) and she didnt like anything here.. so once she has this classic coke as we stopped @ mc donalds for some food, and she goes on " oh, yeah, i seem to like this and amazingle enough its the only thing i have liked so far 'here'"

guess wht the reason was- there was this written on the can- from america or something similar with a definite mention of u.s.a.

now everyone elase jus stared at her!!

funny it was but deep down its not.

and yeah, your mentioned instances esp about "do you have elephant and snakes in india?" type of questions.

i couldnt help but laugh.

Perceptive Girl said...

pardon for the typos.

Aareet Krsna said...

hahahahahahahaha

Idling in Top Gear said...

Funny post!

My fave's did not make it on the list yet, so here they are:

1) Do you have, like, a 12 year old girl arranged for you (during my college days?) - or some other variation throughout the last 10 yrs.

2) You probably had a pet cow though... (when I said I've never had a dog)

-B