Tuesday, July 01, 2008

raven from work has a bit of a situation. she is looking for a good stylist who can cut and perm her hair, only she doesn’t know how to ask said person over the phone if they cut black peoples' hair. now this is an important question to ask because nobody wants someone experimenting on their hair but i get how it might be slightly awkward to bring it up. that and raven is shy. but more importantly raven doesn’t talk black. in fact raven has often been described as the whitest black girl you will ever meet. this doesn’t mean raven talks white. raven is just raven. she has what you would call an indeterminate accent and for the seven months or so that i have known her she has only spoken in one tone. one very very low tone. even her laughter tends to be in the same tone which has lead to much horror for virgin listeners.

anyway me being the wonderfully helpful co worker that i am, offered a creative solution to her problem.

"look it's really simple. you just want to convey to the other person that you're black, that way they can tell you if they're qualified to do a good job with your hair or not. so all you have to do is call and be like hey girrrrrrrrrrrrrl! wasssup? this is shaneequa and i was just calling to axe you if you could cut my hair."

i also suggested she play hip hop music in the background.

she decided my recommendation although hysterical [she made me do my fake black accent for the rest of the office] was highly useless and so she called her mother instead. her mum told her to just directly ask if they did african american hair. she also added "but girl, if you hear an asian accent at the other end of the phone you better hang the eff up."


this morning raven was all happy because she had managed to get herself an appointment.

me: ooh how did you do it?

raven: oh my mum called the lady for me.

me: really? so how did she ask her?

raven: oh. she's already black.

me: okay then. i guess that solves that.

raven: oh and the place is called ‘baby girl’s hottest styles’.

me: bwahahahaha. i wouldn’t worry about it then.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is so much unlike you post

kavitha said...

That's so Raven er..Pri!

Bikerdude said...

Unlike the anonymouse, I am quite a liking it this post men.
Mainly because I got to gooseneck while reading babygirl's hottest styles out loud.

Thanatos said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thanatos said...

We need more black people in Boulder. Talk about a white washed state, where are the brothers at? Even the black people I know are ungodly white. And we need to lose the hippies stat.

AlwaysHappyKya said...

Reached here blog hopping and got hooked. Love your bindas style of writing !

It's Sakath hotness here :-)

Silvara said...

hahha hilarious... :D

I'd have love to hear to call up in ur black accent :P

luvstonz said...

Well the answer to Raven's problem is quite simple. This is how I would have dealt with it.

Raven (phones the Salon):Hi, your salon comes highly recommended by my/a co-worker/s and I would like to schedule an appointment, however I wanted to know if you have had experience styling/cutting/perming(?) coarse ethnic hair?

Salon(possible outcome): Yes or No, and blah, blah, blah.

Idling in Top Gear said...

I guess raven doesn't know about yelp.com :)

snippetsnscribbles said...

Have been reading your blogs for sometime now and now couldnt help but comment :-))

Fantastic writing!! Good to know you from Bengalooru just like me. Blogroll maaDla nimmanna? :) thanks in advance-u ;)

kavita said...

long weekend updates????????