Babies and me

It’s okay for someone who isn’t overly fond of babies to suddenly be totally in love with a three month old right? I used to think babies were adorable back when I was 15. But over the years I’ve found myself mostly being annoyed by the whiny little brats. Also pregnant women always grossed me out. And so when my friend was expecting her ‘bundle of joy’ (who comes up with this crap?) it wasn’t very easy for me to be around her. But I think I coped a lot better than I thought I would. By the end of the nine months words like ‘amniotic fluid’ and ‘fetus’ were just regular conversation words. (Okay ill admit fetus still grosses me out.) Anyway one Monday night Aanu was born and even then I didn’t completely melt. I mean I admit she was pretty cute but all she did was sleep and eat (Don’t get me started on the words that went with that one. By the by breast pumps are very very weird um instruments?) Anyway it was only about a month ago when she started to make little baby noises and not be asleep all the freakin time and then she started to make eye contact and smile (and what a smile) and I found myself doing what I never thought I would ever do. I started to talk in that annoying voice adults use to talk to babies. I have these videos I’ve taken of her and I’m amazed at how singsongy I sound. Ugh! What have I turned into? Anyway Aanu is one spoilt little brat. She gets an oil massage every night followed by a warm bath. Then she gets lathered in Johnson’s baby lotion. No wonder babies smell so great! Oh and occasionally her mommy will let me pick out her outfits and decide what hairstyle she gets. She has been known to rock the Mohawk! Oh and now when I go shopping I stop in the baby aisle and look at the adorable little baby clothes. I bought her her first Tommy Hilfiger onezy. (Is that how it’s spelled? See I’m using words even my computer hasn’t heard of.) Anyway Aanu refuses to go to sleep without her massage. So now her mommy has started to do little pretend massages. All she has to do is take off Aanu’s night suit and rub some baby lotion on and bundle her back up and she falls for it. Heeeeeeee. I think it’s adorable that babies are stupid.

So does this mean I’ve changed my mind about babies and now want to have one of my own? Hell No!!!