the other day i thought i was asking eric [in spanish] if he liked boys and to my great surprise he looking very amused said "um okay." turns out i had just stated to him that i liked boys. gahhh! moving on the real post - mother was invited to a wedding this week. she was over the moon. [do you instantly imagine a cartoon cow jumping over a cartoon moon when anyone uses that expression?]
mother loves weddings. in bangalore she went to at least one a week. funerals and weddings are her most favourite things to attend. sadly she doesn't get to go to many here so when her co worker invited her to her daughter's wedding she was very excited. she has been talking about it for days now. i have been pretending to listen. my brother, the new bakra really makes an attempt to listen. this is great for me because weeks after she has shared with us a fascinating bit of information she'll order me to do something that requires detailed knowledge of such prior information. with brother doing the listening i can always go back and get a quick recap of whatever he understood from all her rambling.
right, the wedding. mother visited bed bath and beyond to buy the happy couple a gift and came home with two exquisitely packed boxes of something householdy they had requested for. the two boxes have since added to the ambiance of our living room and today i kinda sorta miss their pretty blue blurred image. now the corners of my eye only have the dying plant from mother's day to look at. [dying plant courtesy brother "succhay goodd son!" who even bought a gas balloon which is now dead and gone and two cards for mother, one from him and one from me, which i duly signed and handed over to mother. yes i am a terrible child.]
earlier today mother was up at an unearthly hour. she dyed her hair for the special occasion and picked out one of her 113 sarees, an uber chamki majenta one if you must know, which made her look like a character from saas bahu. she then proceeded to pile on all the jewelery that wasn't in a safe deposit box somewhere on herself and then went off to grace the wonderful occasion that was the nuptials of her co worker's daughter and some fool, apparently determined to legally share some fraction of their lives together.
she came back a few hours later looking quite disappointed. apparently it was a very casual affair. "some people were even wearing hawai chappals. can you believe it? pah these american weddings!" also apparently the guests were served some type of a sandwich out of a box. she was most pissed off. since then she has acted out by opening up boxes marked 'showcase things'. how very desi of us.
the showcase things were then arranged in the showcase in the exact same order they were back in the old apartment - african art section, glass object section, silver and bronze object section, doll section, extended doll section, mini altar section [which includes this angel shaped open bible. i can't think of a better description for it], candle section, picture frame section, spoons from around the world section and other worthless junk section.
i was yelled at when i mentioned how everything was in the exact same spot as before. i mean who would've thought packing and boxes were involved in this process. it's as if she hired a giant person to carry the entire showcase from the old living room and place it in the new living room. sadly she did not share my fascination and said something about me only knowing how to make comments and not lifting a finger. another common expression old people like to use. i am all for lifting fingers. i am lifting fingers as we speak. alright, got to go. she just bellowed for me to transport the remainder of the things we never use from the dining table to the living room. i estimate this task should take me at least 8 trips back and forth depending on my balancing skills this evening. why anyone would trust me with breakable objects i don't know. i have to make it all the way from the dining room past the long corridor and into the living room and i'm wearing pajamas that are a little too long for me. bhagwaan jee mujhe shakti de.
in other tragic news i found out a few hours ago that memorial day is not for another week. here i was dreaming of a three day weekend only to be crushed by rude co worker's ill timed comment.
bm jee aka otp - WRITE! i beg you. i am on a fast until you blog again. details of fast will be emailed to you.
mother loves weddings. in bangalore she went to at least one a week. funerals and weddings are her most favourite things to attend. sadly she doesn't get to go to many here so when her co worker invited her to her daughter's wedding she was very excited. she has been talking about it for days now. i have been pretending to listen. my brother, the new bakra really makes an attempt to listen. this is great for me because weeks after she has shared with us a fascinating bit of information she'll order me to do something that requires detailed knowledge of such prior information. with brother doing the listening i can always go back and get a quick recap of whatever he understood from all her rambling.
right, the wedding. mother visited bed bath and beyond to buy the happy couple a gift and came home with two exquisitely packed boxes of something householdy they had requested for. the two boxes have since added to the ambiance of our living room and today i kinda sorta miss their pretty blue blurred image. now the corners of my eye only have the dying plant from mother's day to look at. [dying plant courtesy brother "succhay goodd son!" who even bought a gas balloon which is now dead and gone and two cards for mother, one from him and one from me, which i duly signed and handed over to mother. yes i am a terrible child.]
earlier today mother was up at an unearthly hour. she dyed her hair for the special occasion and picked out one of her 113 sarees, an uber chamki majenta one if you must know, which made her look like a character from saas bahu. she then proceeded to pile on all the jewelery that wasn't in a safe deposit box somewhere on herself and then went off to grace the wonderful occasion that was the nuptials of her co worker's daughter and some fool, apparently determined to legally share some fraction of their lives together.
she came back a few hours later looking quite disappointed. apparently it was a very casual affair. "some people were even wearing hawai chappals. can you believe it? pah these american weddings!" also apparently the guests were served some type of a sandwich out of a box. she was most pissed off. since then she has acted out by opening up boxes marked 'showcase things'. how very desi of us.
the showcase things were then arranged in the showcase in the exact same order they were back in the old apartment - african art section, glass object section, silver and bronze object section, doll section, extended doll section, mini altar section [which includes this angel shaped open bible. i can't think of a better description for it], candle section, picture frame section, spoons from around the world section and other worthless junk section.
i was yelled at when i mentioned how everything was in the exact same spot as before. i mean who would've thought packing and boxes were involved in this process. it's as if she hired a giant person to carry the entire showcase from the old living room and place it in the new living room. sadly she did not share my fascination and said something about me only knowing how to make comments and not lifting a finger. another common expression old people like to use. i am all for lifting fingers. i am lifting fingers as we speak. alright, got to go. she just bellowed for me to transport the remainder of the things we never use from the dining table to the living room. i estimate this task should take me at least 8 trips back and forth depending on my balancing skills this evening. why anyone would trust me with breakable objects i don't know. i have to make it all the way from the dining room past the long corridor and into the living room and i'm wearing pajamas that are a little too long for me. bhagwaan jee mujhe shakti de.
in other tragic news i found out a few hours ago that memorial day is not for another week. here i was dreaming of a three day weekend only to be crushed by rude co worker's ill timed comment.
bm jee aka otp - WRITE! i beg you. i am on a fast until you blog again. details of fast will be emailed to you.
5 comments:
mi madre esta tres dramatica.....couldnt resist it :P
Contents of my parents showcase:
Random medals and tarnished trophies (consolation prize in three legged race, rotary club of bangalore north).
Plastic poo.
Wooden and ceramic cats with x's instead of mouths.
Swans fused at the beak for life.
Model satellites of various shapes and sizes.
Wooden plank with buxom forest belle plucking poo from tree.
Hand painted plates of man with ghastly mustache and ledis with ghastly mustache.
Beer mugs in the shape of spanish bull, rodin's thinker, charging bull, german windmills etc.
Dust seashells and corals picked up from andaman beach in 1978.
Coloured sand arranged in mercurochrome bottles.
es *muy* dramatica, no?
@bikerdude: Did you actually go and note it all down or do you remember it?
incase i havent mentioned this
U R BLOODY HILARIOUS
Post a Comment