in an attempt to ruin your appetite, i just saw my mother eat her dosa with maple syrup. she has also been known to eat poori with kesaribath instead of pallya. why tell?
in family news, my brother may be here in as little as two weeks. we will have to move. again. and to be very honest i'm not as delighted about this news as i should be. it's one more person to live with. i can barely handle my mother. to co exist peacefully with two whole members of the same crazy family. eesh. i SO need to move out. who wants me? i'd be a great roommate. i wont talk unless i have to. i will order pizza a lot. and i'll share. i wont share a toilet. i make great coffee. i wont share the tv or the laptop. i need the a/c when it's hot and the heat when its cold. i wont compromise on either just because the electricity bill is high. so. who wants me?
and omg mother will not stop discussing the various stages of the interview process and the flight details with whoever is willing to listen. or is too frightened to not listen. and when she's talking to my brother in india she yells like its fucking uranus or something. she is drowning out the tv. help! i am missing key dialogues from tonight's 30 rock episode. by the by what an incredibly hysterical episode. watch it legally on nbc.com if you're in the us and have an internet connection that's not dial up. or if you're in india you may contact rbr - illegal video downloading genius or this dude. i dont know where he watches it or how but he watches it. but i digress. there will be some positives too. like mother might possibly divide up her talking time between the two of us. that would be totally okay with me. also this time when we move i can make sure we get an apartment that's facing the right way. so i can get directv again. and life will be complete.
***
stat counter tells me someone just googled 'when old tulsi will come back'.
can you believe such people exist? i mean clearly this person has access to the internet. the wonderful genius internet. but instead of using it to shop or view porn like normal people this fool wants to know when the old tulsi will be back. what is wrong with you?
***
did y'all read your urban dictionary word of the day today? no? here i did it for you.
Like a non-sequitur, a pre-sequitur doesn't follow what immediately preceded it, but instead relates to something that came much earlier. It is a sudden or jarring break in the chronology, but it does follow... when you remember what it refers to.
Jen: Why did you leave Los Angeles?
Keith: Well... have you ever lived there?
Jen: I visited once, for a week. I liked the street performers on the boardwalk...
Keith: Oh, the boardwalk is where I got this red scarf!
Jen: I was trying to knit a scarf just like that last year but I never finished.
Keith: Where do you get yarn around here?
Jen: There's a good store just a few blocks from here, wanna come see?
... ten minutes later ...
Jen: Huh, do you smell Indian food?
Keith: Hmm, not really... but now I'm in the mood to get some Indian Food.
Jen: Sure, let's!
Keith: It was the pollution, that's why.
Jen: pollution?
Keith: Yeah, I wanted somewhere with real air, and LA wasn't it!
Jen: Oh, why you left Los Angeles
i love conversations like these by the way. i have them in my head all the time. sometimes i want to write them down so i can read and you can read but they go away too fast.
***
today i was having lunch at this chinese restaurant and this annoying man would not shut the eff up. first he was on his cell phone. talking gibberish. really loud. then he pretends not to hear the waitress. then he pretends he doesn't understand her accent. tell me how many different things can this possibly mean? "i bling your shup foh yoo now" the asshole made her repeat herself like five times. and it wasn't that he couldn't understand. he was just being an ass. one of those 'how dare you live in the united states when you cant speak the type of english i call enlish' types. fool! also later when i got my soup it kinda smelled like the toilet. yeah. it came free with the kung pao chicken so i didnt care. i put my spoon in it so the kitchen staff wouldn't be offended. dude you never know. people do crazy things. and especially at chinese restaurants. it is so hard to find a cheery waitress. they're alway very matter of fact and busy. even if there are like three people in the entire restaurant. and today this lady was actually being friendly. until the fool pissed her off. what she should have said was 'no shup foh you. bitch.' to him. not me. i'm lovely. unless they put ice in my water. or the peanuts are stale. then i wont like it. of course they will never know this because i will never tell them. i hate to return stuff. also i'm kinda scared they may throw my starving self out.
***
is it possible to be IN LOVE with a shirt? to be devastated to find out it only comes in 3 colours. i recently ordered the pink and the green and now i want the orangish brown one too. the thing with ordering clothes online is you never know how they will fit but this one seemed fairly fittable on anyone so i took the chance and i am in love. they're perfect.
in family news, my brother may be here in as little as two weeks. we will have to move. again. and to be very honest i'm not as delighted about this news as i should be. it's one more person to live with. i can barely handle my mother. to co exist peacefully with two whole members of the same crazy family. eesh. i SO need to move out. who wants me? i'd be a great roommate. i wont talk unless i have to. i will order pizza a lot. and i'll share. i wont share a toilet. i make great coffee. i wont share the tv or the laptop. i need the a/c when it's hot and the heat when its cold. i wont compromise on either just because the electricity bill is high. so. who wants me?
and omg mother will not stop discussing the various stages of the interview process and the flight details with whoever is willing to listen. or is too frightened to not listen. and when she's talking to my brother in india she yells like its fucking uranus or something. she is drowning out the tv. help! i am missing key dialogues from tonight's 30 rock episode. by the by what an incredibly hysterical episode. watch it legally on nbc.com if you're in the us and have an internet connection that's not dial up. or if you're in india you may contact rbr - illegal video downloading genius or this dude. i dont know where he watches it or how but he watches it. but i digress. there will be some positives too. like mother might possibly divide up her talking time between the two of us. that would be totally okay with me. also this time when we move i can make sure we get an apartment that's facing the right way. so i can get directv again. and life will be complete.
***
stat counter tells me someone just googled 'when old tulsi will come back'.
can you believe such people exist? i mean clearly this person has access to the internet. the wonderful genius internet. but instead of using it to shop or view porn like normal people this fool wants to know when the old tulsi will be back. what is wrong with you?
***
did y'all read your urban dictionary word of the day today? no? here i did it for you.
Like a non-sequitur, a pre-sequitur doesn't follow what immediately preceded it, but instead relates to something that came much earlier. It is a sudden or jarring break in the chronology, but it does follow... when you remember what it refers to.
Jen: Why did you leave Los Angeles?
Keith: Well... have you ever lived there?
Jen: I visited once, for a week. I liked the street performers on the boardwalk...
Keith: Oh, the boardwalk is where I got this red scarf!
Jen: I was trying to knit a scarf just like that last year but I never finished.
Keith: Where do you get yarn around here?
Jen: There's a good store just a few blocks from here, wanna come see?
... ten minutes later ...
Jen: Huh, do you smell Indian food?
Keith: Hmm, not really... but now I'm in the mood to get some Indian Food.
Jen: Sure, let's!
Keith: It was the pollution, that's why.
Jen: pollution?
Keith: Yeah, I wanted somewhere with real air, and LA wasn't it!
Jen: Oh, why you left Los Angeles
i love conversations like these by the way. i have them in my head all the time. sometimes i want to write them down so i can read and you can read but they go away too fast.
***
today i was having lunch at this chinese restaurant and this annoying man would not shut the eff up. first he was on his cell phone. talking gibberish. really loud. then he pretends not to hear the waitress. then he pretends he doesn't understand her accent. tell me how many different things can this possibly mean? "i bling your shup foh yoo now" the asshole made her repeat herself like five times. and it wasn't that he couldn't understand. he was just being an ass. one of those 'how dare you live in the united states when you cant speak the type of english i call enlish' types. fool! also later when i got my soup it kinda smelled like the toilet. yeah. it came free with the kung pao chicken so i didnt care. i put my spoon in it so the kitchen staff wouldn't be offended. dude you never know. people do crazy things. and especially at chinese restaurants. it is so hard to find a cheery waitress. they're alway very matter of fact and busy. even if there are like three people in the entire restaurant. and today this lady was actually being friendly. until the fool pissed her off. what she should have said was 'no shup foh you. bitch.' to him. not me. i'm lovely. unless they put ice in my water. or the peanuts are stale. then i wont like it. of course they will never know this because i will never tell them. i hate to return stuff. also i'm kinda scared they may throw my starving self out.
***
is it possible to be IN LOVE with a shirt? to be devastated to find out it only comes in 3 colours. i recently ordered the pink and the green and now i want the orangish brown one too. the thing with ordering clothes online is you never know how they will fit but this one seemed fairly fittable on anyone so i took the chance and i am in love. they're perfect.
12 comments:
Hee I am the first commentor. So:
1) Hilarious post especially the tulsi part.
2) Why do you have to move again?
3) That pre-sequitor thing sounds like all gmail conversations and especially msn conversations with my mom because she can't type as fast as us
4)I approve of new tops. I was initially scandalized about the shopping online but...
love the tops!
those models look anorexic, though. I'm jealous of them. bitches.
I hate skinny women. Women should be curvy. I'm going to work on ushering in a new era of big is beautiful, just not too big.
Also, that dude watches it on his computer, in his room. That's the where and how.
What kind of people would search for Tulsi's return. This kind
dulhan jee: where is the boy going to sleep? we need a bigger place fool! im glad you approve of the shirts.
reno: um okay. im not sure what that has to do with anything but thank you for sharing.
oh wait i get it. in response to broom's comment.
Shirts are pretty!
i read your last 15 posts in one go! Darn..i missed reading you girl. entha entertainment! Sorry, been travelling like its going out of style...hence no blogging for the longest time. and congrats..i see u r now gonna be a desipundit contributor.
Oi, achei seu blog pelo google está bem interessante gostei desse post. Gostaria de falar sobre o CresceNet. O CresceNet é um provedor de internet discada que remunera seus usuários pelo tempo conectado. Exatamente isso que você leu, estão pagando para você conectar. O provedor paga 20 centavos por hora de conexão discada com ligação local para mais de 2100 cidades do Brasil. O CresceNet tem um acelerador de conexão, que deixa sua conexão até 10 vezes mais rápida. Quem utiliza banda larga pode lucrar também, basta se cadastrar no CresceNet e quando for dormir conectar por discada, é possível pagar a ADSL só com o dinheiro da discada. Nos horários de minuto único o gasto com telefone é mínimo e a remuneração do CresceNet generosa. Se você quiser linkar o Cresce.Net(www.provedorcrescenet.com) no seu blog eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso. If is possible add the CresceNet(www.provedorcrescenet.com) in your blogroll, I thank. Good bye friend.
Umm.. you have an admirer pri. And I don't think its one of your regular readers... probably from Goa, given all the portuguese.
Totally unrelated but not quite, reading it then looking at disco di behen made me very hungry for goan fish curry. Is that wrong?
freespirit: awww we miss you too. write already!
khal: yay how exciting! i wish i could speak whatever language that is. how do you know it's portuguese? and it's perfectly normal to be reminded of fish curry. i wish i could make it sing for me. you are my fish fry....
crescenet: bye now.
Phew, that was heavy!
And EWW to dosa with maple syrup.
aahh... you had to put that song in my head!!!!
I hate you..
kabhi na kehna kudiye bye bye bye.
(wasn't this the one they filmed on govinda and samantha fox heaving the twins in a ghaghra choli??)
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