Car Wash Adventures

Remember how I said my car really really needed to be washed? Well I got it washed today at one of those automatic car wash places. You know, the ones you’ve seen in the movies where all the making out takes place. Anyway this was my first time...not making out...just using the car wash place. I normally take it to a different place and I hand a guy my keys and my car comes out all clean and shiny. This time it wasn’t so easy. I drove up to the entrance and inserted a $5 bill and this voice said “your wash is now ready”. I was about to drive in when I saw the big sign about making sure the antenna was down and the side windows turned in. So I got out of my car and ran around trying to do all of this before I completely missed the car wash. Then I drove in slowly and nothing happened so I kept driving until I heard this loud alarm and saw this big STOP light blinking. So I stopped. Still nothing. Then I drove backwards and I noticed this car behind me near the entrance. So I drove forward again and again the bloody alarms went off. Then this light came on that said I had to go back to start the cycle and so I did. Still nothing. The lady in the car behind me was now making angry signs. So I drove out and went to talk to the person inside the gas station. At first she looked at me kind of strange and then she handed me a coupon. She didn’t say anything the whole time. She pointed at this code so I figured I needed to enter that in. So I tried again. This time it didn’t even ask me for a payment. It said “your deluxe car wash is now ready”. I had only paid for a regular one so I’m guessing impatient lady behind me got the car wash I had ordered and I got her deluxe one. Muahahahahaha. So I drove in again and this time I at least saw some water. It wasn’t anywhere near my car but at least I saw the bloody water. So I drove backwards till the water was now splashing on top of my car. Then it stopped and I looked around [like that was going to help me] for any sign of a human being. Then all of a sudden I couldn’t see anything. I was scared and took my sun glasses off [which I realise I probably shouldn’t have been wearing inside anyway] but I still couldn’t see anything. That was when it dawned on me that the car wash had now started working. The soap was what was blinding me. DUH! And then for the next five minutes I felt like I was in a tornado. The force of the water was way stronger than I expected. My front glass has this crack in it and I was terrified of the water gushing in. I imagined dying in there. “Well she did always love taking a bath”, they would say at my funeral. Just when I thought I was all done my car was covered with this strange pink/purple gooey thing . I’m not sure what it was [ooh maybe it was the deluxe part of the deluxe car wash] and then more water. First like a drizzle, then like this giant wave, then more drizzle. I was giggling by now like an eight year old on her first roller coaster ride. Eventually I was done but see I didn’t know I was done because my car was still wet and I was expecting some sort of air to you know blow dry it [can one blow dry a car or is that only for hair?] but nothing. So I drove off a little mad and then right at the exit of course theres this huge gust of wind and then I was all dry and clean and shiny and happy and laughing like a crazy person.


Oh and on a completely unrelated note we're having a rather scary day at work. Scary because there was this computer error thing that affected a bunch of people who are now super mad and could potentially sue us. So the phone has been ringing non stop all day and everyone is really really frustrated. I have been a little too upbeat i think for this sort of a day. I'm trying to sound a little more somber when i answer the phone but i keep forgetting. Anyway about twenty minutes ago this guy dropped off this box. I signed for it but i'm scared to open it. I think it might have been sent by an angry person. So if you never hear from me again you'll know why.