How we can make life a little more comfortable for our Umpires.

You know how of late our ICC umpires haven't really been performing up to the mark? So i was thinking of some things that we could do to get them to be a little more friendly and a little less um blind. So i made a list of all the things that I would want if i were an umpire. Lets see: firstly a chair. You cant expect someone to stand in the same spot for 5 freakin days. Oh and also since its so hot (most days) i would need air conditioning. So maybe like a compact little box with air conditioning? And some refreshments would be awesome. But this box thingy would need to be ball proof so as to prevent death to the umpire. (since he cant really duck or move out of the way) This would also be the perfect place for sponsors to place their logos, don't u think? (I swear there was this one match where the umpire's back was used to sponsor something. It didn't really look very nice.) Wow now I'm all excited. I should totally patent this idea.
Oh and some other accessories we could provide inside the box for certain umpires named Bucknor (I'm not picking on the man but you have to admit he could use all of these) : ear phones, a hearing aid? binoculars, a telescope? a compass, a diary (so he can write his little notes to be later handed over to the match referee so that someone gets fined at least 50% of their match fee after which he can do his evil laughter and get a good night's sleep). Oh and most important an easy to read flowchart on how lbw's are to be determined.