Starbucks Banter

P is super happy as she gets out of her car cause it’s sunny outside and the snow is melting. P is mad at herself for wearing open toed sandals in slushy weather. P jumps over parts of slush and ice till she reaches the dry pavement now very proud of herself for not messing up her pretty sandals.

Starbucks Dude #1 [who will henceforth (I love that word. It’s so obnoxious) be referred to as D1] in an uber cheerful annoying singsongy voice: “Heyyyyyyyyy!!! How r YOU doing today?”
P: “Um good. Thank you. Can I get a Venti 3 pump white mocha no whip?”
D1: “Suuuuuuuure”
D2: “So Dude, then he like totally committed suicide.”
P collects change, a little startled
D1: “I have to say I was sorta expecting that”
P hopes they’re talking about something on TV
“Yeah dude but still it was so weird. I mean my brother totally knew him”, chuckles D2 crushing P’s last hopes
P grabs her coffee making sure she avoids eye contact with the two heartless creatures.
D2:”Supposedly the body smelled really gross when they found him that weekend”
D1: “Thank You!!! Have a great day!!!”
P: Sure, right after I barf my coffee.