My dad wakes me up at 8 am. He has no idea I've been awake since well all night because jet lag or whatever this roga is. He thinks I have to be ready in an hour to go out with my cousins. I tell him plans have changed and to please drop me off at the mall on the way to his gym. He's says okay and leaves only to come back a few minutes later with an idea. He has several ideas from time to time and will share them all.
"Will you get up in one hour and go brush your teeth and all and come? I will make some breakfast."
He then proceeds to go do his yoga while he plays this one Buddhist chant on repeat from a cd he bought in Nepal in the year 2002.
After a shower and trying to force my contact lenses in my Ambarish red eyes I go sit down to a spread of egg sandwiches and fruit. Unfortunately there is a layer of mystery meat in the sandwich. Upon enquiry I am informed it is beef. I tell him i haven't eaten been in 16 years.
"It's okay what is there, you can eat."
I scrape off the meat bits and eat the egg.
"Take some fruit."
The "fruit" includes one kiwi cut up, one banana, a giant plastic container filled with pomegranate and 6 raw almonds just chilling. I ask about the pomegranate.
"Where did you get it? Who cleaned it?"
"See, I buy one kg and bring, then I will clean and keep in the fridge so it becomes easy for me to eat anytime." He scoops a spoonful and munches on it like puri. I'm obviously thinking about biswa kalyan rath's pomegranate sketch and dying.
I ask if he's ready for his tea. Does he want normal tea or his healthy green tea. I already know the answer.
"I've already kept my tea bag ready, you can pour some hot water in it and then add milk to yours. Oh and don't put sugar in your tea. Try this."
He hands me some sort of brown sugar that's stuck together in what looks like sesame but maybe not. He says it's from a plant and it's good for you. I hesitate to add it to my tea because if it ruins it I'll have to start from scratch. Also at this point I'm dying for tea. There's coffee but it's not nearly strong enough.
Did I mention my dad has been playing YouTube videos of Tamil songs from the sixties on his phone this whole time. The audio plays on his Bluetooth speaker which he was very excited to discover was a thing about a year ago. He watches the video on his phone while he eats his breakfast.
"Don't forget about the mango you kept in the fridge yesterday. Eat it fast."
I bring him his tea which he proceeds to drink while reading his newspaper. "My god 15 trees have crashed yesterday."
"Err, with this much rain aa?"
"Ya, daily trees will be crashing. Some are very old trees. Oh Mohan has come."
He introduces me to the new gardener. They talk about the very important transplant that is to take place today.
"See we are transplanting this butter fruit tree from this corner to that corner."
"Okay"
"This Mohan is quite good. Better than the last Telugu bugger. Most useless fellow."
I notice Mohan speaks Kannada. Good luck Mohan, I'm rooting for you.
"Okay you go get ready. I will go finish shaving and all."
Finis.
