moving, meeting the new neighbours, losing my cell phone charger and other fun things i did today while you all had another regular old hump day.

we moved today. same complex. bigger place and you'd think that would make it easier but no. it was still excruciatingly painful. okay not so much for me because most of my stuff was still in boxes, you know from when we moved here from colorado oh some 8 months ago. see i knew it was a good idea to put off unpacking.

i like my new room but i hate my closet. it's half the size of my old one which makes no sense cause that room was smaller. i'm still trying to see if mother will switch rooms with me cause her room has the big walk in closet. i want!! what does she need that for anyway? if you ask her she'll tell you for the 113 sarees she has. she counted them in the process of moving. she announced it to me and my brother very sadly. apparently most of her sarees are back home in india and the 113 lying around here just wont do.

in tragic news i missed the directv guys today. they came to set everything up but i was in the old house and they ended up leaving a note on my door. i was pissed cause all they had to do was call me on my cell phone and i would've skipped over here in two minutes. it's been two days y'all, without the tv. it's killing me. last night i felt like a homeless person cause half my stuff was in the old house and half was in the new house and i was like wait which one is my home and normally the answer to that question is simple. wherever the tv is, that's your home right but there was no tv set up in either place and i was sad and confused and i felt all alone in this big bad world. also the internet isn't working yet but i was able to steal the neighbour's internet. don't you love that? ooh ooh guess who i met today? my new neighbours. we were in the garage and this guy walks up and he's all hi i'm r and i'm your new neighbour. he's totally adorable and totally gay. he lives with his "roommate" and his mother. he was all don't worry we're nice people. i also met this other bastige old man neighbour. my car was blocking his garage door but wtf we were unpacking. anyway he claims that he sat in his car honking for ten minutes and no one answered. luckily gay neighbour heard him and came and rang my doorbell which i heard thankfully. he was like okay don't panic but your car is blocking this man's garage and he's threatening to get it towed but ignore him, he's a total jerk. so i run out to move my car and then he starts yelling. so yeah at least now i know which neighbours to talk to. i was thinking of going to go visit the nice neighbours with some cookies in the hopes that they would invite me to watch tv with them. i figured i would complain about how i had missed my directv guys and how i was so miserable. anyway since i have the internet now and i can watch netflix i think i'll manage. oh and the internet i'm stealing does not belong to the nice neighbours. i know this because the network id that said dan's network [that would be the roommate] was locked. so yeah, this is someone else with no password. idiot.

they named you what??

so it's summer. well it feels like it anyway and so i have planned for myself a fun road trip. i happen to have the wondrous task of moving a bright shiny red car [soon to be my bright shiny red car] all the way from la to houston. what is that like 5 days? i haven't bothered to check yet but i'm thinking instead that i will drive it in the direction of colorado and visit some friends. by visit i mean live with them until they decide to kick me out of their house once they realise what a bad influence i am on the baby and the dog, both of which are lovely by the way when they're not drooling on me. just because you're cute doesn't make it okay for you to drool on people, unless you're romany malco. then you get to do whatever you want.

anyway you know how people are always bitching about the price of gas? i'm usually like shut the fuck up because i mean it's cheaper than coffee. that stuff is killing my finances. but like now this whole gas price thing is going to affect me tremendously as i begin to partake in this journey across this ginormous land. a journey which i hope will help me discover myself cause yeah that ain't happened yet. oh also in case you're wondering what happened with r. nothing happened. he hasn't mentioned the text at all. not once. so i'm assuming he's not into it and we're going to leave it at that. except he's still doing the whole messing with my stationary thing followed by stupid grinning. like wtf am i supposed to get from that? do i still think he's hot? hell yeah!

in silly news RBR - my good friend and one time hospital stretcher thief introduced to me the official ipl team page, a page that has since brought us much joy. look, some of the players happen to have some funny names, that's all. also we're both like 12 years old and we'll giggle at anything.

for example:

Wilkin Mota is on the same team as Ramesh Powar. interesting...

there exists a player by the name of M.S.Ghoni. apparently it stands for Manpreet Singh Ghoni and last time we checked he is not in fact related to M.S.Dhoni.

also there's one fool named Napoleon Einstein. seriously.

then my favourite twosome Shadab Jakati and Yo Mahesh. i predict the following incident taking place sometime soon on a cricket field near you.

"YO mahesh!"
"shaddup dude!"
bitch slap. booo hooooo.

also there's Loots Bosman and Luke Ronchi and Pinal Shah. *giggle giggle*

also Sumit Khatri and Taruwar Kohli's names are strategically placed right next to each other. no comprende? okay katri means knife and koli means chicken. did i mention the team is sponsored by kfc?

and then by far my most favourite name - Ajinkya Rahane. this is seriously some dude's real name? it's as if his parents were given random scrabble letters and this is the best they could come up with. ajinkya it seems!

okay happy weekend!! and watch baby momma. you all love tina fey and amy poehler no? plus romany malco's in it. he doesn't get to make out with anyone but at least he's there with his adorable puppy dog eyes.

awwww i kinda miss you CU!!

i wonder if this little gathering had anything to do with the wildfire in boulder last evening. hmmmm.....

do not send me save the dolphin forwards. ambani is not going to do shit if i sign a damn petition. plus that's hayden panettiere's job.

so i'm officially all weeded out. june 16th is when the fourth season of weeds comes out. i don't know how i'm going to survive till then. i just might have to watch all three seasons again. or just season 3 episode 12. mm mm mmm!

other things i watched today - smart people. not a very smart movie. if anything it was dreadfully boring. that juno girl didn't have enough funny things to say. also sarah jessica parker is officially a hag. you know who else is a hag? helen hunt. there's this new movie she's doing with matthew broderick who by the way is most definitely gay. how does sarah jessica parker not know her husband is gay? she of all people should know. anyway in the movie helen hunt's neck looks 90 years old and she's playing a 39 year old trying to have a baby. Also when you're almost forty why try to force nature? why not just adopt a good looking child? of course you'd need to test it first. make sure it isn't stupid. alright alright all you part time blogger - full time mommy readers [my favourite blogger demographic by the way, not really] can stop hating me. i'm only joking. sort of.

in other exciting news i had my first bucket of dibs today. i was amazed at how long it stayed solid. i kept waiting for it to melt. how do they do that?? wait. i don't actually want a scientific explanation so all you geeks can zip it. i just find it fascinating, the technology of our times! poppable ice cream balls! ooh also apparently they have a mint flavour. is it any good? is it solid mint outside and vanilla inside?

p.s. in tragic news i just discovered there is no more wine in the house.

p.p.s. i will henceforth be sharing with you random things i heard on weeds just as and when i remember them. for now i will leave you with 'snow nigger'. i know it's terribly offensive and i'm sure it existed way before the show but it makes me giggle okay?

p.p.p.s. there is absolutely no truth to this. clearly baby v and puppy m have been snorting coke again. shame on you two. bacchon ke baarein mein socho.

happy weekend. muah.

what the fuck was i thinking? [play song on the right for special effects]

i did something really brave yesterday. i asked a boy out. and he said yes. it wasn't as filmy as i had imagined it would be [there's only that much drama that can take place over text message] but not to worry i will work on that during the actual date, which will happen as soon as i ask him out again because technically i only asked him if it would be appropriate to ask him out. i didn't actually ask him out. anyway right after he was done with all the awwwing i made him promise not to tell anyone at work and in exchange for some cookies he has agreed to keep his mouth shut.

i will keep you guys updated. i get that this is very inspirational to a lot of folks. if i can do it hey there's hope for everyone. now i have to go find something to wear. ta.

getting to know the boy

i got ten minutes of alone time with r today because for the better part of the lunch hour eric sat around us chewing his apple and making fox news jokes. idiot. when he finally left the room r turned to me and asked what i was eating.

upma.

who?

it's like grits.

oh yeah?

but with vegetables and spices. what are you eating?

leftover rice and vegetables. i leaned over to take a look. it looked terrible.

do you cook?

sort of. i mean i manage. i usually just make whatever i'm cooking really spicy. that way it's edible.

aah.

does your mum cook for you a lot?

when i go over to her place i usually take lots of empty containers.

aah.

hey, i wanted to tell you about this local cricket league i found out about. this one guy i know plays for them.

really?

yeah. i had no idea they had those here.

well there are lots of south asian people who live here so..

true. they sure love their cricket. in jamaica too it's hard not to get into cricket.

mm hmm. did you play?

yeah but one time i got hit by a ball...

oh oh!

those things are hard.

hell yeah!

plus i liked soccer and track better. i did play some street cricket as a kid. we had this carpenter guy who would give us pieces of wood. i mean you had to work on it a bit but when you got it nice and smooth it was a bat.

nice! my cousins had a proper cricket bat. we all took turns batting. no one ever wanted to bowl. we didn't even own a proper cricket ball. tennis ball, plastic, anything would do.

yeah. we played with the tennis ball a lot too. if we ever did get ourselves a proper red cricket ball it was usually pink and bent out of shape by the time it got to us.

hee hee.

good times. he had this wistful look on his face. wistful/dreamy. i took the opportunity to study his features. i decided he needed a shave.

so, how old were you when you left jamaica?

i was nineteen when we immigrated but man those were some incredible years. i wouldn't change that for the world.

sigh. we're liking this boy more and more. at one point i almost reached out to pet him. don't ask. he looked pettable. anyway i didn't. here's what i did do. this incredibly hot boy showed up later in a bright green shirt and a ridiculous afro. the weird part was he looked kinda desi. the affro threw me off. anyway i saw r talking to him so of course i called his extension to find out how he knew him and he's like why do you ask and without thinking twice i say well duh he was so cute. he laughed. i'm not sure why i did that. he was incredibly cute though. plus i am easily distracted. anyway i realise i need to keep my eyes on the prize and so i have decided to make a list of things i like about r. so far i have this -

is hot.

dresses well.

smells good.

clean hands.

voted for obama.

can be bribed anytime with cookies. they have to be macadamia nut.

has played cricket.

has the most adorable laugh.

has big puppy dog eyes.

likes his food spicy.

that accent.


things we're not so thrilled about -

talks to his mom way too much.

has this annoying cell phone headset he walks around with. in his defense i haven't seen it in a while. let's hope he got rid of it.

existence of offspring.

possible temper issues. one time he got really mad when someone got his lunch order wrong. either he was really hungry that day or the boy has anger management issues and i don't need that.

p.s. you know i've realised if there's one thing i'm really good it's making myself fall for someone. like i'll usually take my time but once i've decided i'm going to fall for them i get around to doing just that. i wont actually do anything about it but hey at least i won't have boredom issues. at least not until i'm bored with the idea of being in love with them. yeah i'm really ready for the tv shows to be back.

p.p.s. so who watches weeds? i just got into it and i need to discuss the fabulosity of this show. email me.

what a life

On 4/5/08, Karan **r**i <karan**r**i@gmail.com> wrote:>

so i'm driving to pondy for some hopefully awesome breakfast tomorrow. Taking the beach route via kerala. Fully excited. Should be back for monday dinner.

lunch time romance. the delusional kind.

you're sitting less than a foot away. we're breathing the same air. and im okay with that. see right there it's obvious i like you more than the average human.

you eat your lunch silently. you're being careful not to make too much noise. it's okay you know if you want to chew loud. you can turn the tv on too. i know you like some background noise. ooh is it because it drowns out the chewing?

who just texted you? why aren't you replying? is it your baby momma? what happened there? i mean its not really any of my business but you know, im curious. also what did you mean when you said i don't smile at you? sure i do. im just not at my confident best when im around someone im crushing on. i get awkward. maybe you think im just incredibly arrogant. or mysterious. or both. what do you think? who be texting you again fool? chomp chomp. okay its unnatural to eat that quietly. now im worried. i'll never be comfortable eating around you. that one time at the mexican restaurant was different though. cause there were like forty people there. we talked cricket remember? always a good topic. you were going to make me taste your mother's supposedly mouth shattering dish. id like that. your mum sounds cute. when she calls. with that accent. "will you ask him to call his mother back please?" okay aunty, i want to say. what else am i going to call her? mrs. b is too formal. you can call my mother aunty. im never you introducing to her though. she crazy. you can meet my brother. he'll leave you alone. ooh now you're texting back. fine. i'll go upstairs. my biryani is cold.